legitimate eyes cry

I find reason to be this way, to put you through the things I do. There is no real excuse for me and no words I write or speak will make true the accusations I bring upon you; it is my weakness you expose. You become tangled in my web of lies to myself which feeds the machine that is me. It is through fear I rationalize my unrational behavior. It is through my conclusions of my confusions I make legitimate eyes cry. I want that no longer, forever no longer!

Westinghouse, 1889 Jonah. 98.2

hamster trap

The pins fell back hard and the sound was glorious. It was the culmination of years of practice and blood. I was at that crucial point when I realized the value of working hard everyday with a goal in mind. The process was a blur. This is what happens when you are young.
The pins fall just as hard and are more precisely driven back, the sound is intensely gratifying, and the blood is of no consequence. I enjoy the day, each day, as a part of my goal attainment. This is what happens when you are older. 98