fulfilled not

The pain comes in parts and there are times when those parts feel like tools being thrown at me bouncing off my rib cage. On occasion the pain comes at a moments notice occurring either physiologically or deeper still. I am not sure which is worse as they both symbolize some form of discontentment. Beyond these things, pain can come from another person's words. These times are tough because if the words of another hurt that much, then there needs to be some sort of drug intervention or possibly some massage therapy to help guide you away from your self degredation tendencies. Pain breeds pain and as it comes in parts it becomes difficult to bypass the self fulfilling prophecy you call upon so often.

impossible to

There are many fascinating things about the human being. There are so many items to choose from and the prices are so varied with quality always being caught in question, that finding only a few items for under a hundred bucks is almost an insult to humanity itself. First we have the bare fruit and veggie section. Here we have the pure ones, the health nuts that stay healthy so they can screw better and longer. They are clear enough to see through at a glance. Then we have the frozen food section for those of us who prefer different feeding times. We are the rebels who do not find issue with microwavables. We are flexible and kind and we screw just as well. But it is not all about the essentialist arguement. It is about how we feel as human beings. If we feel good we show it, we know it. If we feel like shit it shows without having to be anything other than what we are no matter how we shop or what is on display. The human being tries to hide, but it is impossible to hide what is inside all the time. The human being is as open as land and just as beautiful. LLc 98.2

wine-o

She was behind me in line. I could tell by what she was buying that she was going to be spending the evening alone and in agony. She had one bottle of wine; a sure backup to what she had already, and various other snacks designed for a cozy evening alone, maybe with some music or romantic movie to entice her senses and fill the emptiness she somehow feels inside. I wanted to say hello to her but instead I announced my intentions for the evening. I said that I was going to eat fattening food, watch a movie, and then go to sleep alone as usual. I glanced at her and she cracked a smile while looking the other way. To me she looked like a divorced teacher, maybe grade school. She had that homely look about her with a sexiness that was just dying to show itself. I could feel her hurt, as if she was missing something. I know that feeling well, we all do in some way I am certain. LLc 98.2

no moving pennies

It will not be long before there is mass confusion and anxiety. Change is difficult to be sure but this kind of change has never been seen before; not this fast anyway. Somehow along the way people get left out and begin to say things they do not mean about things they do not truly understand. From there regrets follow which in turn usually go to the grave with you making you an unhappy ghost. That is eternal unhappiness and something you want no part of at all. If you choose to be this way do not be surprised when later in the day you find it difficult to make pennies move.