HMMM

You know why musicians and artists have a history of strange, early deaths? Because they knew nothing else, lived nothing else. They thought, slept, ate, and drank what they produced. They had no cushions to fall back on during the process either. For them, there were no options. That would kill anyone. Imagine for one moment in your day: driving your car; sitting at home alone; playing your favorite past-time, or participating in something that brings you great joy for extended periods of time, and think about what you desire or feel passionately about even half as much as what I described above. Is it worth your time, what time you have left on this mortal, blue speck that occupies such a small part of this small universe we occupy; which is surrounded by things we can never fully understand and distances in darkness we can never imagine, to chase after even the wildest of dreams? What makes you think your so special? You can't do that! What about your bills, your house, your kids? Who do you think you are? You are nobody special! I had to do things I didn't want to. I had to struggle to get where I am at. I gave up a lot for you. These are just a few of the things you will hear, from people who are not happy. A happy and content person would offer sound advice and direction through sound application of preordained principles based on specific ideals of success that fully encompass all efforts to the same. Anyone who discourages these things, or altars them in some way is to be avoided at all times. This is the cost, the first cost, of making a change that places value on what you feel passionate about in your life.

obsessive you

I don't care who you are; I don't care what you say to me; I don't care how much money you make or what kind of fucking retirement you have lined up for yourself; if you don't move me, I will have absolutely nothing to do with you. I am alone now just as I will be when I die. I do not have time to hang around with any woman who does not move me. I would rather be moved, not sexually because that is a given and need not be brought up; I am talking about really grabbing my attention in more ways than are currently being contemplated now. Then again, I am completely worthless. Does this sound familiar?
I can go further than that and further still leading to a large mound of depression shit, but why? Anyone who knows anything about depression will tell you how fucking miserable it is. In a depressive state, the last thing I ever want to do is get involved with someone like me. Does this feel similiar to what is happening in your life? Misery loves company and shit is right the fuck on. I know people who, presented with better things free of charge, looked the other way toward the familiar depressive darkness; when standing at the crossroads. Change, any change is rediculously difficult, especially when what is being left has been comfortably adjusted to even though the whole damn thing was a lie and a fuck fest to begin with. Does this sound familiar? Yes it's true, many depressed people have a tendency to be a tad bit on the obsessive side and some have difficulty keeping the car parked in the garage. Still other people obsess about things like wrestling, politics, school, work, and blah blah blah. Whatever the case may be, all the obsessive behavior and baby making will get you into an adaptive world that runs counter to the ideas you had before you became this new obsessive you.

dogs would be better yellow

All you need is your humanness to get caught up in being human. From there emotion blends itself in like rum to a coke. What happens after that is anybody's guess in virtually every circumstance. Therein lies the difficulty in forsight when related to specific people.

here, there ........

I look for the small and usually find the large. I seek the infinite and usually find pencil shavings at my feet and a tired body sleeping as I seek truth. But since I am a liar like you, truth is itself a lie. There is no room for truth here, there, or anywhere. Try telling the truth to yourself and your friends and see how far you get. See if people treat you as if you were mentally ill. My bet is you would find less friends, more alone time with your pc, and a host of ready made excuses as to why you messed everything up by being honest. No, I say continue the lies so as not to disrupt the flow of your day. That way you will fit right in with everyone else who clamours for attention in this way or that.

kaleidescope

Inevitably we conceive or realities through our filters marked by time and circumstance. From our first memory through immitation to our primary belief systems now, our lenses through which we view our individual world's are like a kaleidescope from kindergarten class. The angular shapes and colors we see bring through our selves that must somehow maneuver in the world among others who cannot possibly see things the same way. It can be assumed they have filters like us, but it cannot be said they lay claim to our ideals and desires in the same way we do, no matter how simple we claim our explanations to be in this regard. From this reality then, we can conclude that no one answer exists for any group of people who bargain under the same flagship.

peed

Where I once was free, through age I have become caged. I have become just like all the others who practice deceit to make their living. Those willing to be deceived are many because anything is better than what they feel on the inside. For some people, the extras are considered the norm and without the decoration and circumstance there would simply be an empty space resembling the empty face that hides in deep disgrace all decked out in fine design suited for the times both inside and outside our minds eye. 98.2 LLC

program

We are not trained to care. The only thing we are trained to do is look out for ourselves. Through this training we lose who we are. Why? Because the process dictates it and encourages it through the buying and selling of souls, with all its contents and containments. As we get older, we look back on those we have inadvertantly harmed in some way and try to care, but for some of us there is no despair. For some, they never can care because it is not in thier genetic program to do so. I have met emptiness more than once and it is always best to avoid such madness and shame.