I often hear people say they're bored. I get bored from time to time. But does that mean that certain lives are really boring? Well, if you suffer from depression, days can turn into weeks and months of boredom and depression. It is a cycle that is difficult to get away from. In time they say it will get better. Well who are they to say anything about depression and being bored? These are the kinds of people that say, "Get over it!" There is no real way to get over it. Sure there are drugs to help depression, but these drugs don't always work. The depression and boredom is sometimes just too strong to shake.

alone and smiling

It is one thing to be alone. It is another to be alone in a relationship. This becomes difficult because of the lies one tells oneself. After a while, the lies become so strong that they are believable- not only to the one who is lying to himself/herself, but also to those around them. People believe everything is okay because that is what is being presented. There is no doubt that presentation is just that, a way to show someone that everything you are doing is okay and everything is fine. But everything is not fine because he or she is alone and smiling and acting as if everything is okay... when it isn't.

Once we prepare for the day backstage (in our homes), we are then responsible for the presence. We are responsible for not only how we look and what kind of a statement we make alone, but we are also responsible for our persona... our whole presence. What our backstage preparation brings to the table can often determine the circumstance and solution to any one issue.

There is a loneliness that surrounds me. It invites me to think and do things I otherwise might never do. From these kinds of thoughts and actions comes a willingness to put myself out there to be scrutinized; to not be afraid to speak of my illnesses. But I don't have that kind of courage... yet. Maybe someday I will have the opportunity to escape from myself and the loneliness that surrounds me.

Fair-weather friends are easy to come by. They always appear when things are going well. But when things get tough, they are nowhere to be found. This is part of the human condition. People are drawn to those who are having success. They want to be around that success. They want to be successful themselves.

Very often our authentic selves become lost during the helping process associated with other people. It's really not lost, but covered up over time. We lose our self because of the many choices we have. With these choices come different reactions which may or may not be coming from our authentic self.

Age is a funny thing. I realized that when I was younger I worried about all the wrong things at all the wrong times. The amount of self appointed stress was unbelievable for me. I tried to always do the right thing. I got praise for doing the right thing. But at the same time I saw friends of mine get away with the wrong things and find success. This brings up the question, "What is success?"