I know

There comes a point in all our lives where we must admit to ourselves that we don't really know anything. In order to know something, we must first be able to prove it. Oh sure we all know a few things here and there. But for the most part, when looking at the bigger picture, it is very true that we don't really know all that much; especially when one takes into account all the video games, movies, and television shows we watch. Nothing could be a bigger waste of time or more of a distraction.

The older I get the more I appreciate sleep. When I was a young man, I could go days without sleep. I just left myself in party-mode all the time. When I crashed out I crashed out for an entire 24 hour period. Then, once I recovered, which was a very short time, I began the process all over again with the same group of guys. I wasted a lot of time in those days and took chances I shouldn't have taken. But through it all I am glad I lived on the edge the way I did. I took no pictures. I lived it man.

If everyday seems like the same as the one before, it probably is. That said, there needs to be variety in all our lives. We must make it, from time to time, out of our comfort zone. This is where we get to experience new things, new ideas, and new perspectives. It is from such places that the drag of everyday life does not bring us down. In fact, there is no drag in a life that only feels comfortable when doing new and interesting things.

alone

The loneliest of people are not the ones who are literally alone. The loneliest people are the ones who have to get up in the morning and put themselves together for something they cannot stand; another day of doing the same things over and over again with the same people over and over again. We all need to break free from the solitude of being an actor and celebrate who we really are as people.

away

I often feel down or out of sorts in one way or the other. I do not know where it comes from, this darkness. But I do know why it is there: to test me. I have got to believe that or I will lose my mind again. The one thing I never want to do is drink. But lately, drinking seems like it would be a pretty good way to avoid this darkness. The only problem with me and drinking is that we like each other way too much. After some time the darkest of times will return and I will want to die... again.

Nothing in this world is more profound and respected by me than honesty. Without being honest, first with ourselves and then with others, we are nothing more than bad actors looking for some kind of justification for acting the way we do. These justifications are infectious and can damage the self in a number of ways. First, by justifying an act that runs contrary to being honest with oneself one puts him/her self in jeopardy. By that I mean they can become something other than what they are designed to be. This is a place where honesty can hinder the false process. Second, and lastly for my part here, to justify an act that is far and away from the self one makes it possible to abandon any notion of honesty whatsoever.

I think we humans begin the construction of our "walls" early in life... say around the 3rd grade or so. Why is this? It is for protection against the "what is mine is mine and what is yours is also mine mentality." We begin early construction of these walls not only for protection, but also for our need to fit in with the crowd. As we age we identify with certain groups. We talk and dress like everyone else in the group. Once we reach adulthood, our armor changes from jeans and a tee shirt to a suit and tie. But those walls are stronger and more complicated than ever.