Firefall Just remember I love you

The real miracle in life is you. It is you, me, and everyone you see... those are the miracles. The only limits we have are the one's we set for ourselves.

It is always a shock when somebody you know passes away. In 1983, I had a nephew who drowned in a swimming pool. But that day he was being watched by his coked-up mother at some other guys house. He fell in, she panicked and ran next door to call the ambulance. She then went back to the pool, jumped in and got him out. By the time he arrived at the hospital he was gone. He was not even 3 years old. On the other end of the spectrum, there is old age. It is something different, to me, when someone who is along in years passes away. My grandparents lived long lives, all four of them. Their lives were by no means easy, but in reality, who's life is easy... really? I often talked with my grandmother and she was always brutally honest with me. One day she told me that getting old is no fun. She talked about the many reasons why, but her main reason, I gathered, for saying such a thing was when she told me about how the older you get the more you get the chance to see all your friends die. To me, that was the key statement. It solidified for me that for all of us... there is no possible way out. It sold me on the reality that there needs to be one important thing in life. We all need "one thing" to keep us coming back for more. For some, it's faith. For other folks it's music that keeps them wanting to wake in the morning. Other people may find their work to be enough motivation to keep moving forward. I know the feelings associated with not having that "one thing" to look forward to in the morning. I know and understand the emptiness that comes with that mentality. It gets particularly tough when one is witnessing the decline of ones own parent(s) with absolutely nothing coming from anybody else in the family. It is almost as if our childhoods and the hard work our folks did all along the way to keep things somewhat together... were not good enough. I truly have to say that there is indeed Nothing particularly special about getting old. Grandma..... I know you're playing golf right now and are walking great!

The Smashing Pumpkins - 1979

I am madness in a shell. The world I know is different. It has to be. That's because no two people can possibly view anything in the world in exactly the same way. Yet everything feeds from the same force, the sun. Nothing, absolutely nothing happens on this planet without the sun. And with that light comes the darkness. I have been working hard for quite some time now to simplify things. I know about television and quit watching some time back. Sports don't mean that much to me because there is too much... well, enough about that. I guess the only thing I really love and respect is the game of golf. I don't even play anymore because it costs too much. It's strange because i am all alone and I am happy, but I'm not. I really don't need anything but a roof and a floor to sleep on, but I do. If there is music close by, I may come and say hi. It's difficult to tell. I am madness in a shell.

Every single day there is someone who kills himself in this and all other countries. People have been doing it since the beginning. Also, people die through all kinds of means each and every day. These are people we never hear about unless they are family or friends. Otherwise, all people die is relative obscurity and alone. One could say we come into this world in much the same way. As we all know, the only truths we know for sure is that there will always be taxes and we are all going to die. We've all joked about those two concepts since we heard the joke when we were kids with our entire lives ahead of us. Now, many of us are getting older and with our age we are beginning to see our friends and family fall. Someone said a long time ago that longevity is the reward for a good life. I'm not so sure about that statement. Thus far, age has taught me: the longer we live, the more we get to see those we care about die. Our significance level to society diminishes with age. Pain increases everywhere. And you finally understand how meaningless it was to be in a hurry or buy things you did not need. In reality, there is only so much one can do with money and love is the only real thing that anyone takes with  them when their bodies cease to function... for whatever reason. Now, in this time, it is more important than ever for people to abandon their ritualized work schedule that has modified their lives into a smaller, more predictable, less free version of themselves and exchange it for the sunshine and moonshine of another career... one that has their heart right in the middle of the picture.

I believe we don't hear the truth just as we don't see the truth. This is for two reasons: First, words are easily placed in such a way as to give off meanings that are other than what they read. Second, no two people hear in the same ways and therefor no real consensus can be agreed upon. Within this mess of humanity and salesmanship, one can seek out the truth. Unfortunately, when the truth is revealed or is stumbled upon, depending on who and what amount of money is involved, can be a life-changing experience. At the very least, it can forever prevent someone from wanting to participate in the game at all. Every hero that has ever existed... every man of success that has ever walked our earth was, is, and will be... flawed. When words are written about an event, it depends on how the writer feels about the participants and/or the outcome as to how those words will be received. Once passion is placed within a structure of words and the words reflect that passion, emotions are stirred and truth can become very much an incidental thing. This is very much like what we see. Hollywood makes movies and none of them are real. Every image, unless it is historical and true footage, is manufactured with words to fit. Truth can be found, but provability will always be an issue as truth once again becomes secondary.