here, there ........

I look for the small and usually find the large. I seek the infinite and usually find pencil shavings at my feet and a tired body sleeping as I seek truth. But since I am a liar like you, truth is itself a lie. There is no room for truth here, there, or anywhere. Try telling the truth to yourself and your friends and see how far you get. See if people treat you as if you were mentally ill. My bet is you would find less friends, more alone time with your pc, and a host of ready made excuses as to why you messed everything up by being honest. No, I say continue the lies so as not to disrupt the flow of your day. That way you will fit right in with everyone else who clamours for attention in this way or that.

kaleidescope

Inevitably we conceive or realities through our filters marked by time and circumstance. From our first memory through immitation to our primary belief systems now, our lenses through which we view our individual world's are like a kaleidescope from kindergarten class. The angular shapes and colors we see bring through our selves that must somehow maneuver in the world among others who cannot possibly see things the same way. It can be assumed they have filters like us, but it cannot be said they lay claim to our ideals and desires in the same way we do, no matter how simple we claim our explanations to be in this regard. From this reality then, we can conclude that no one answer exists for any group of people who bargain under the same flagship.

peed

Where I once was free, through age I have become caged. I have become just like all the others who practice deceit to make their living. Those willing to be deceived are many because anything is better than what they feel on the inside. For some people, the extras are considered the norm and without the decoration and circumstance there would simply be an empty space resembling the empty face that hides in deep disgrace all decked out in fine design suited for the times both inside and outside our minds eye. 98.2 LLC

program

We are not trained to care. The only thing we are trained to do is look out for ourselves. Through this training we lose who we are. Why? Because the process dictates it and encourages it through the buying and selling of souls, with all its contents and containments. As we get older, we look back on those we have inadvertantly harmed in some way and try to care, but for some of us there is no despair. For some, they never can care because it is not in thier genetic program to do so. I have met emptiness more than once and it is always best to avoid such madness and shame.

never not ever

I think about you all the time. Even before I sleep I think about you. I think about how your hair smells and how good it feels to make you feel good. I think about your soft skin against mine as we embrace off and on throughout the evening. I think about how you make my life complete with all the ups and downs life throws our way. I love how, from time to time, you love to show just how wonderful your lips are as they move all over. I love the way your voice gets higher and louder as your lips move faster and faster when you become frustrated with me. I enjoy it when you endear me with your subtle nuances that remind me constantly of how things were when we met. Those were good times indeed. I love you my dear for reminding me of how things used to be and how you base all your angered thoughts on things you were partly responsible for. You make my life complete honey, thanks!

evening

There are mood days when the desire comes and then there is no place to take it. It is all encompassing and filled with such ache that even getting started in the day can be a real challenge. I sometimes would rather lay in bed and cover my head with the blanket that covers me inside from the ones who take on the outside.
I hate takers; those who suck away the strength, any strength one has, and applies it for their own benefit. If they only knew their future depends on their actions now. The world has a way of evening the score with no hesitation and always in varying ways. Never think you are immune to these things because you will feel it and feel it hard you will.

resemble

Take the idea, take it in stride and make room for it. Pursue it in your own way and devise the plan to take it over (literally), to the next stop along your road of silent desperation. It can never be bad to become involved in that which makes you smile; if only to yourself inside. Take no temporary stance in this regard. Carve out a spot in each day to see it through. In time you will find a person that strangely resembles you.