It takes a man of courage, a real madman to step away from his life to lead the life he was meant to live. It really is a hell of a decision to make on ones own. For all those with the courage enough to change everything just to live a more... sensible life, well done and good luck.

My life is in a holding pattern right now. This is something not of my own choosing. In time I will see my dream come to fruition. But until that time, I will wait in vain. I will wait and try to heal myself from these god damn demons that seem to relish in my struggles.

I am alone today. I was alone yesterday. It seems everyday I am alone. Even when I am among friends or family, I feel alone. Maybe that is because I am alone in my world; we all are alone in our own worlds. Knowing this fact, I find it more and more difficult to want to leave my room, to talk with people, to not be alone. I must continue learning, dreaming, wanting to improve. But I am not sure what improvement means. I am alone today and that's okay with me... I think.

May this day be your best day. May you find the answer you were looking for and may that answer lead to even more answers. May you find peace where there once was anger and may you understand your value... not only to yourself, but to all those that surround you.

I had my patience tested again today just like yesterday. Once again I had to deal with a whinny little bitch who just had to have his way. I worry about his entire generation. It is almost as if they expect certain things to just come to them. They seem to be extraordinarily selfish. If I played my hand that way when I was his age, I would to this day have no friends.

Expectation isn't something that requires much thought. It is an assumption that one or more things will happen as a result of some action that you have taken. I think we would do better in life if we decided one day not to expect anything and just be grateful for what comes our way. We may prefer for certain things to happen, but this has nothing to do with being grateful for the opportunity of things happening.

There is the reality of the day and there is the reality inside our minds. The reality of our day stated simply is where we are actually in life. It is separate from where we think we should be and it is separate from each and every dream we have. The reality inside our minds can be as majikal as we can imagine. We can feed off of media to keep our dreams inside alive. The connections we make between our reality of the day and the dreams we gather from watching various media are real. Many people prefer the dreams inside. They rely on the connections they make between shows or ads or movies to enhance their dream factory... or The Secondary Life.