what is it

It's like a rock in your shoe, not a pebble but a rock. The burden, the guilt for doing or thinking the wrong thing and not knowing why, is all sometimes too much for anyone to bear. Sometimes we just need a break from the action so to speak. Sometimes we need to find so lice in isolation; to straighten things out; to try and find a reason for all the negative thoughts about this or that. Mainly, with this affliction, all the negative thoughts are geared towards the self. It is like a hammer, believe me. Some argue it is selfish to be this way. Others say it is a disorder of some sort. Regardless of what label they place on it, the feelings are just the same. There is no reasoning behind it. Reason is not a hallmark of it. There is nothing reasonable about waking up in the morning and telling yourself negative things. Yet there are many who suffer without understanding. They suffer in quiet desperation often hiding in a bottle or can. Or maybe it is pills or food. Through it all we walk alone in silence with a rock the size of a golf ball in our shoe.