It sometimes takes time to remember how your authentic self is the one thing that has sustained you through your various other selves and once you drop all associations with the selves that are in no way affiliated with your authentic self, then you can pick up where you dropped it off which was at the doorstep of expectation where the very nature of the beast requires the formulation and maintenance of various selves that serve one purpose, to dominate the most inner portions of the soul with feelings of accomplishment and greatness; to exceed what was expected of you. If however the joy can only be felt on a level where the authentic self is not welcomed, the imposing battle from there on in will either be recognized or not recognized... but will have an affect on the life of every self. It will especially affect the life of the authentic self... if it is known and recognized and cherished in any way. And as age takes its course, not dealing with these crosses in the road only makes the journey more fragmented,  yet I suppose a bit more interesting. It is the journey, as they say, not the found nugget at the base of the big rock at the edge of the stream.