Understanding can only be attained from a place where understanding was once not a part of the conversation. How can one enter the room where a solution is to be proposed without an understanding that is directly related to all concerned parties? Understanding is feeling the positions of the parties themselves, not suppressing the feelings being expressed about those positions and then abandoning them based on the emotions being expressed while calling them fake or dumb or wrong. Using religion to back up a position that discounts that social flavor only adds old, warm milk to a bland, cold soup.