empty and ...

I feel like a permenent structure in silence built from years and years of resistance from the unwanted sources that exist in the form of the regular people like me. They do not mean what they do, but sometimes they do. Sometimes the words they place are pre-rehearsed in front of the mirror. Sometimes, you find something entirely different than what you thought it would be. Once you lay that foundation, the building process becomes a daily occurance and you will begin the search for the silent room; the one that matches the emptiness inside you try so hard to hide.

ok day

A stressed out man pulls up to the mountain top and exits his vehicle. From the large trunk he pulls a chair, one of those fold up one's you get at Sam's Club for 20 bucks. He walks to the edge of the cliff and unfolds the blue chair. He places it down and digs it in. He sits down and smiles. From his back pocket he brings a knitted hat made by an admirer. On this day that knit cap is his crown. He puts it on his head covering his ear tips. He lights a cigarette and holds it in for as long as he can. He exhales and smiles while thinking to himself," Yes indeed good people, all this is mine and you are allowed to do whatever you desire upon it."

presence

My desires require fast tires and horses to power them, but what is seen is quite the opposite. I would rather recline and stare from a really nice chair at the ceiling with blind eyes and an open mind while cranking the worlds greatest rock and roll as loudly and as obtrusively as possible. I would rather have cool people surrounding me that have some kind of passion driving them. This is our design if we so choose. We are not who we hang with, but we are what we become while in their presence. My desires still enjoy the left hand lane, but I am finding the second from the right to be somewhat more relaxing.

days at the beach

Appreciation and respect are both learned and rarely taught correctly. I respected my mother after each time she whipped my bare ass when I messed up. I could work my father over, he was easy. But mother took no shit from anybody and father would have been useless without her. I learned to appreciate and respect my father over time. He was the balance through times of imbalance; some of which he created. Nonetheless the man never missed a day of work if he could help it. Mother worked also and took care of four kids all of whom were selfish no good bastards. I learned to respect my mother after I watched her stand up for me in front of many people. When she was finished, everything was better all around. Respect and appreciation is what we have to show those who mean the most just how much they mean to us. These two things take time so never rush to judge the young one's who still need to sit in the sun for a while.

things that don't

Unlimited opportunities exist within the rhelm of personal happiness. From this wholly place of intent comes the desire and wonder of creaton. Through this vast land we can actually rise through and beyond the false desires we seek through what we see everyday. We can move beyond expectation and form into something entirely new and exciting. Like children we can laugh about the things that don't matter and sometimes do and step back to see the larger spectrum; the one that is all inclusive to all people through time and space.

smart women

Smart women get involved with and lied to by stupid men who use their lonliness, as well as any other thing they can, to seal the deal. The alternative in their eyes is a future alone with themselves; and that is often far too much to bare. This compromise will always benefit the man and women are conditioned to make it that way. When women do not feel comfortable enough with their stupid men, they will find that lonliness takes on many forms and is created through a great many things. Smart women are complex and difficult. They are a pain in the ass most of the time. But there is nothing sexier than looking and appreciating a woman in her element. Her confidence, her demeanor, her everything is as sexy as it gets. Smart women are much better than stupid one's; now if we can teach them how to choose better maybe we can have a better everything

you

There is no searching where feelings are involved. It does not matter if the feelings one has about another are positive or negative. The only thing that truely does matter is your level of happiness inside. What has happened in our social world is that we are not taught to be happy inside. We are taught to go to school and then work regardless of what or why. We are bombarded with rules and regulations from another time and often another place. Those rules only apply in some cases and reasonings, but in the long haul the rules and players of the game have changed; they must change in order for any form of progression can take place. Searching for one unified strategy to deal with the issue of happiness would run counter to the already formulated social ways we all know so well. Think about the possibilities if we were to socially incorporate into our school system a new way of viewing the world; a way in which self expression and individuality is encouraged through the arts and sciences. There are many people who are delighted with the idea of studying these things in great depth and through their enthusiastic participation in that which brings them the most joy, I can see young people kicking open new doors in the arts and sciences as a form of expression rather than repression through societal encouragements of sameness and shameless that are thrust upon us all from an early age. This is deceit in its most common form and we are all good at it, especially when we talk with ourselves. There can be no search for something that burns and yearns on the inside; that sensation can be altered to form, but it can never be anything other than what it is to you and that can never be taught; it can only be encouraged through positive dialogue of the same, through the same, by the same.