cookies and cream

I remember the days years ago when I knew everything and how the people around me were crazy for doing the things they did and saying the things they did. I lived high on a mountain of cheese sprinkled with cracker dust; wine bottles everywhere throughout. The fresh stench of sex permeated the air and ashtrays filled to the brim with half smoked cigarettes were always on every flat or semi-flat surface. Every night we had the worlds problems solved and every night there was a different suspect.
They were always anonyous and alone. Not desperate, just really angered by something that has happened recently in their lives. They were always honest about their names; which I guess made them feel better as guys will easily use other names which may have made them feel better about their going outside the line for some extra spankage. Suspects they are, still, these wonderful people are the most human of all humans. They see a need and fulfill that need for real, reaping the rewards of anonymous and hardcore sexual practices with total and complete strangers (consenting adults). The rewards come in secret boxes wrapped with electric bows and cards that flash neon memories of yourself and one other in dirty and secret bliss. LLc

why

Know me, never you can. Understand me, no, that is too complicated. Why? Because. Because why? Well, it's just always been that way. Why? because my mom and dad were crazy people and when I was conceived they were drinking in the back of a 68 Mustang and my pops talked my momma into a quickie thus passing on to me the crazy gene. I never had a chance man! Why? What do you mean why? Say that shit one more time and I will excommunicate your ass! Why?
You better start running. Why? LLc 98.2

definition

I search in the mirrors; the windows and the glassy objects throughout, and I see the reflections and sounds of others playing their games. I walk along in silence where nobody can hear me. If they only could maybe they would see me differently. Maybe then we could find commonality among us that stems from a long-standing love affair with people and life. Maybe we could become closer, more defined, affable.

harbor

We are trained from birth to recognize things in our environment. We are trained accordingly with all the appropriate attachments. We accept or deny these things and then we begin the rationalization process. We take in information and weed out other information that is not useful to us in our daily endeavors. But, we never forget our conscience and we never forget our dreams. Often, these two things collide with great frequancy thus leading to even greater ways of configuring our thought processes as they relate to our actions that follow. Whether we act on this or that is determined by many factors such as social standing, economics, or perception of self as it relates to what we believe to be true. We are trained from birth to recognize things in our environment yet we never receive training on invention and new avenues of exploration. We need to recognize the twigs on the ground and the sound the wind makes as it whistles through the branches of the trees that allow us to breathe and appreciate the cycles we are all a part of- both on the inside and out. LLc 98.2

symphony of silence

My symphony of silence protects me from the rage of the other. I believe there is a reason for my protection, but the source is beyond my detection. Whether it be friendly or not there can be no doubt that it has served me well during my time. In reality, I should have left this nasty plane a long time ago. But for some reason I have withered in my stances only barely as what I see in the world is complete fiction. I see the trails of lies and the tears that soak beneath the eyes to reveal the alone-time cries. My symphony of silence allows me the time necessary to wipe away my tears right out in the open where everyone can see them. No need to hide away from a world that is filled with the hopelessness we have all come to love so very much. 98.2

ok

The happiness we seek cannot occur from the outside looking, acting as we do. Justifications follow from there most certainly followed by activities that are indeed far removed from our mental tickle spots. If the desire to be enhanced in some way has left, and you feel as though retreiving it back; then seeking some sort of betterment for yourself as you seek the same feeling again; even if you believe you have succeeded in your quest, you have not. It is a different kind of success in a different context that serves the perceptions of other people for you. The worst part is once when all the t's have been crossed and i's dotted, everything is completely different in reality than your preconceived notions of what happiness is or can be. Even if the mold has been created by you, once the journey to the goal has ended you WILL find a fit that is unsnug, uncomfy, and completely unacceptable and cold. Happiness is never forced. It occurs accidentally, but we must be open to it. It is difficult to keep that door open when your always looking down.

you

From the time we wake in the morning until we go to bed at night, we imagine another conversation or activity with someone else that has nothing to do with what we are doing at any one point during the day. We continuously branch off into our various parts of our entire self thereby activating the usual mechanisms we use to hide the way we feel about the one we constantly think about but are afraid to let know. I think about one person in particular all the time. Do you?