My love is alive (Gary Wright ) original version

Maybe it's the natural inclination o man to take advantage o his ellow man until that advantage can no longer be exploited. This o course comes at the price o the ellow man and his riendship. One could say that such a relationship has never been built on mutual respect and riendship, thereor no riendship can be lost. I suppose this is true i everything was cut and dry. But things only get cut and dry when one party becomes ed up with what can only be called a "onesided relationship." There has to come a point where the one who is being used simply wises up and abandons his/her eorts at doing the right thing. How can you do the right thing and accomplish what is right? Well, in the short term, there is pain. There is the adjustment o not seeing said person everyday o the week or weeks, months, and years on end while constantly doing their bidding, so to speak. In that time, they could have learned what they can and cannot do or themselves without anybody else's ucking money, smokes, booze, drugs, couch, car, gas, etc... in exchange or what? The privilege o being their slave? Don't get me wrong, i the person who is so called "using" is one who has physical or mental issues, well that is dierent. They are not aware or they do not allow themselves to think ar enough ahead o the pssible consequences or wanting things done or them all the time. And yes, experience tells me that some people take advantage o their diagnosis. There are tricks and treats mankind plays on himsel and other people. Maybe it is the normal inclination o mankind to take advantage o his ellow man because it sure happens enough in this world.

I have been having cyclical, negative thought or the last our days. I've had very little sleep and the pain in my mouth is such that eating anything but soup is a chore. The pain will pass. That's not what's keeping me up. This whole thing started when I decided to place mysel in lie-long debt and get a degree or two. It was a mistake. I just wanted to inish what I started years beore. I went too ar in subjects that have no real applications in society unless you write about society using sociologically sponsored PhD's who all reuse to place their name anywhere but on top. I stay away rom PhD people. Nobody should know how to do research that well, learn the truth, and then pay no attention to that truth. I don't even know i there's a word or that. Besides that, it seems the higher up the ladder one climbs, the less and less time there is to live... a lie. On top o the reality that lie brings us all, anybody would be hard-pressed to ind a doctor who is not heavily intertwined with the pharmaceutical industry. They go hand in hand. And then the insurance companies... dear God we could go on orever. I bought into everything until I hit 27 or 28. Once I inished what I started, I mastered the art o using reerences and proper citations in my written work all o which has done me no good. When I'm not making nickels an hour, I am researching. This is what I believe these last ew days have been about. The thing Is, since I quit watching television, except espn, i also quit the news. I have been compelled to investigate happenings rom both the past and the present. No bias, just something closer to the truth than I am used too. The only thing I can say about seeking the truth is that it is without question nothing what you think the process to be. I you come across one Possibility o the truth, a set o veriiable circumstances that lead one to "an" outcome, then the best thing you can do is sit on it. I hate that about getting older, the older we get the more we learn about the things we thought were true that were ar rom it. That, I believe is my last our days.

Some people, usually younger people, are willing to do anything to get ahead in this world. The most hurtul o these things is to separate themselves rom themselves. In many cases, these young people are not aware o what they are doing while they are doing it. They just wake up one day only to ind themselves scheduled to do certain things or those who helped bring them along, so to speak. In time, they invariably ind themselves in constant motion or the beneit o other people. Playing the earthly game o "success" is hard-hitting and very real. Those willing to do unthinkable things have the kind o desperation only those looking to exploit that demeanor or every nickel it's worth are looking or. This is especially true o the entertainment industry. What ills our television screens and movie screens are people, some o which did unspeakable things, that have a certain kind o majik within them. They may not be the most talented, but what they do possess is the ability to transorm the audience into being something they are not. They move the audience to participate by involving themselves rom the inside... actually imagining they are part o the iction that is being presented to them. I call this The Secondary Lie. This secondary lie is very much preerred by many people as the regular lie we all possess does not have the same impact on other people's lives. The only thing we have as human beings is the idea that we can be what we want to be in this world. But this must be done without compromising the principles we gained as we grew up. This hold true no matter how good or bad the household was when growing up.

A lot o people, all o us really, have ideas about such mundane things as the meaning o lie. I mean, what exactly is the meaning o our lives here on this planet? Speaking or mysel, I did not choose to be here. In act, I came between two miscarriages. I have no recollection o anything prior to 1969. When I was a kid, I became absolutely transixed with the reality that we have a inite amount o time on this planet and that nobody knows i there is anything beyond our existence here. I started to explore religion and philosophy when I was a kid back in the late 70's. I remember inding out how people rom dierent parts o the world had diering versions o what I came to know as the ater-lie. I also ound early on that children inherit their parents religion and worldview... or the most part. One could argue there is no choice in the matter. It was during high school that I became interested in sociology.
In sociology I ound a myriad o great thinkers who entrenched themselves with trying to understand how society works and the driving orces that operate behind society and how society molds its actors into behaving and thinking in certain ways. Once I started taking communications courses, it became clear to me as to the direction I was going to go. I did not think about what it would pay because I knew there was no pay and that poverty was probably going to be part o the lie I have always known. I suppose my saving grace is the act that I am a minimalist.

I totally understand when people call doctor people quacks. I get that rom start to inish. I read a comment that said you don't need to have a chemical imbalance to become an alcoholic and/or drug addict, but an imbalance does exist within the brain o someone who is bi-polar. rom what I gather, bi-polar is characterized by dramatic mood swings that can occur at various intervals or levels, depending on the stimulus and intensity o "a" situation... or no situation at all... just a situation that is happening inside ones mind. The thing is, people with, let's say depression, have eelings o worthlessness that have no basis in reality. It is something that is contrived out o nowhere and it is what it is. It can be said that a chemical imbalance does exist within said mind. In such cases, proper medication and guidance could be o use... or not. The point is, depression is not understood because it has many variables to consider. To go along with that, each person has a dierent chemical makeup stemming rom dierent circumstances. Oh sure there may be similarities between two or ten thousand people, but the lie experience o each individual person who lives with depression everyday is unique. It is thereor next to impossible to be 100% sure o a proper diagnosis when it comes to depression. In my world, depression is something I learned to hide, well. I kept busy growing up with sports and school so I never let mysel have the time to not be doing something. As I have grown and become less active in those arenas, I have ound that I have the same pathetic, nonsensical notions about mysel as I had when I was young. Bi-polar is something people, even doctor's, know little about. Yes, they know more than those who do not have bi-polar because they study people who have that diagnosis. In reality, that means they have more valid things to say about it than Joe Schmo with virtually no experience in the area. One could easily say, " Well shit, Moby Dick was a shitty book"... having never read it all all. I mean, that's super easy to do and it oten happens when people don't have a clue as to what the hell they are talking about. In my world, Bi-polar is marked by periods o extreme highs and extreme lows all with varying degrees o severity. Sometimes the darkness and negativity is so thick I could absolutely end it all. Yet I don't because I lack the courage. So I chose to drink it all away or quite some time. But ater years o "good times" I ound mysel back in that place, unhealthy, spiritually bankrupt and physically wounded. Through those times, I did have periods o sobriety where I did eel extremely high, but without drugs or alcohol. In every case, in every instance, I always ell hard straight to the bottom o the darkess hole I could ind. I honestly know o no other way to see lie, my lie. I did the medication thing or a ew years and ound it to be aective to a certain degree. But ater x amount o years, I stopped and have been pill-ree or almost a year. And rom what I can gather thus ar, nothing has changed. I am simply older and I guess more comortable with it. I simply quit the ight and accepted mysel or who and what I am: imperect, honest, and quite the ool sometimes. That said, things like depression and Bi-polar disorder or whatever anybody calls it is indeed a reality or some people. It is nothing to lean on or use to make lie easier. Believe me when I say there is no such thing as "easy" when it comes to having to deal with seriously negative eelings about yoursel that have no oundation in reality while at the same time waiting or that crispy wave to take you back to the beach, switly and with enthusiasm knowing that what waits or you at the blanket is a sunburn, sand between your toes, and no water in the cooler.

Nothing

The last thing anybody really wants to hear is truth. There is evidence or this. Many have told jokes about it. Little clues have been let throughout the writings o all kinds o people rom various centers o social, political, and entertainment industries. The very irst thing many o us do when we hear things we are not amiliar with is to simply judge them to be wrong, call it bs conspiracy jargon, and remove the thought immediately rom our minds. But the act is we are all owned by international bankers. They own the government and thereor have tremendous inluence over policy and things like war. This is something that has been in place since our Revolutionary War. But the real oot went down in 1913. No matter what anybody says, that was the year America lost its identity. In that single year, America became no dierent than Europe... just less time in the game. Not long ater, we became the strongest military power on the planet. Why? Why us and why during the time just prior to the cold war (manuactured)? Skipping ahead, nobody looks at the decor o Dealey Plaza. Having been there, I can say that everything is in plain sight. It's so out in the open it is diicult to notice given what took place there. The thing is, these people don't care about us, the little people. And as a result, those in the government who are plugged into this thing also do not care as they have been given the kind o power that they desire... even though they are all acting on other people's behal. They don't care about anything other than their goals which were publicly stated by George Bush when he talked about a New World Order. Jack Kennedy was not privy to this idea, essentially, and was made to be an example. In actuality, Jack knew he was screwed. That was just a perect storm that made it necessary or extreme and immediate changes to be made. The strange thing about this all is the act that many people who operate under various guises do so because that is their job. They know nothing else but what they are assigned to do. Lying is just part o the larger picture which includes one generation ater the next generation. The truth is, people are or sale. or enough money, anybody would do what they are told to do and say what they are told to say. Television makes us keenly aware o what success is. It sure does look like a lot o un doesn't it?