constant lubrication

We are born into the machine that spins with constant lubrication of the flesh and blood of tireless hearts and broken backs. The people from the past were no different than we are now and they were grounded up just like we are being grounded now. However, we no longer have to measure up to the people who can no longer tell their tales and spin their webs just as we do. The machine is equipped with every sort of pain you can imagine. With that imagination one can dream up the worst of nightmares along with the most pleasant of child-like dreams that allow us to wander freely among the spirits that surround us. The machine allows this because outside the machine is a pleasant valley where the only sounds are the wind brushing the caterpillars from the leaves and thumping them down upon another below. Within our machines we must maintain a sense of our dreams. It is through this mechanism that we can see through the residual effects of all our shortcomings and false hopes based entirely on fiction and want. We all lubricate the future with our discontent.

abandon

I want to abandon my want and trade it in for desire. I want to know the differences between the two and be able to contribute to the plus side of this dichotomy. Desire is the driver while want is the social side that always works concurrently with the, " keep up with the Jones's mentality." Desire can never drive the social because it always changes and flows with the times, want changes and responds to the times in the form of falacy and false desire. Like the false representatives who claim this but are actually that, so too is wanting. Desire is always based in the perfect fantasy which should be our everyday while wanting is always based in the here and now and is completely made up and responsive.

lobby carpet

I'm not in the mood to do anything. I have been feeling this way since 1991 when I was forced to watch a movie that was to become one of the highest grossing chick flick movies of all time. I was literally sickened when the movie began and continued to be until I had to exercise my right to get the fuck up out of the chair and go to the lobby so I could catch my breath. Good thing it was 23 below that night; god forbid I should be where the air was dirty. I stood in the lobby feeling my racing heart beat right out of my chest and bounce around on the worn, red lobby carpet. There was a lady standing and watching me as if I was from out of town or something. Little did she know of the hell I was in and yes, I was from out of town. I could have just puked all over her and felt good about it.
Heart still racing and girlfriend pissed in the seat next to her sister, I headed across the street for a drink. It was the least I could do. I started knocking back kamikaze's and beers. I must have had 3 a piece before I walked back to the lobby all red and plush on the edges and worn everywhere else. I received the, " nothing happened treatment " which was the equivalent of, "no sex for you bitch!" Hey, at 21 that is a big deal and a card she played well. One evening I puled that, "I'm not in the mood to do anything " crap and it was ineffective. She got pissed and went out, screwed another guy while drinking on her own money, then came back and lied about it. So, when I now say to myself that I am not in the mood to do anything, I simply don't do anything. I will never sit through a movie I do not want to see and I will never tell a woman that I am not in the mood to do anything. These may seem like small things, but they are not. They are big things and are the design of our inner well being. We associate one thing with another automatically. I want nice associations filled with chewy chunks rather than filtered funks.

memory

The drawback to memory are the many false comparisons that get made when one thing has absolutely nothing to do with the other. Like computer chips and hardware there comes a time when the need becomes lower and lower for that product. When we compare, for example, the political structure now to the 1960's we can see similarities but nothing more. Memory prevents change in any way it can. This is why things in media last forever inside our minds keeping us at bay with little if anything to say. We are trapped inside ourselves and need media now. If we don't have it, we become lost and really pissed of. So now there becomes, as has always been, a need for media to the point that without it I am completely and utterly lost. Why? Because every time, if memory serves me correctly, that the power has gone out because of a wreck or the weather, and the power goes out, there are people in the street rolling out of their houses with flashlights and candles talking out loud about how shitty life is. This conditioning has made us weak to think that without media we are lost forever.

wce

World-class effort requires world-class accommodations. An effort made through a half-hearted array of misconceptions and deceitful practices; both within the self and outside the self, requires not only more effort and time, but also more brain time away from the desired activity that has been understood and accepted as the best way to achieve whatever goal is on the table. Effort is not the means to an end, it is the mechanism through which the means needs to function. Means is human, effort is not. Effort is driven by the soul that answers to one cause, one desire, and one dream that must eventually rise out of all our delusional states.

falsities daily

Is there such a thing as an overactive imagination, one that completely disregards reality in all its forms and capacities? Reality is itself fiction so the answer to that question is no. But it is not that simple is it? It rarely is. Reality can be just as real as the sharpest of dreams if the plan is to see it first with your imagination. Imagination is the starting point to progress. Without imagination there would be nothing now and nothing in the future.
Those who say that you have an overactive imagination need to look at themselves and how they present themselves in the eyes of other people each day. It takes imagination for any actor to present themselves on the social stage. This is always done through the eyes of other people. One could argue a case of insanity in all of us for this type of working imagination; especially since it is a perceived requirement before leaving the house out into the social world of complete and utter plasticity and flacid promises never kept. An overactive imagination is all anybody has because none of us are truely happy or satisfied; God forbid! 98.2 LLc

you are

I have these words to keep me going when the days become long and the burden becomes strong; bearing down on me with the weight of time itself.

There is the road with its beginning, and the view is cluttered. What is seen comes to view like a spectacle of lights and sounds that are sometimes frightening. It is magnificent and true and it is all for you. It is the beginning of a neverending series of experiences that will establish a place along that road, and in this world, that is synonymous with your struggle and it will be known that you were here and made the best of it-and succeeded. 98.2 LLc

interesting

Not too long ago a book was found in an abandoned house. It was tucked away inside an old chest found in a hallway that looked better than it should have considering its obvious age. It was elegantly dressed with fine cloth and not a nick on the entire piece. It was magnificly stained in red as if it was mixed with the blood of a man passionately involved in his craft. Inside was an envelop containing various letters and cards that were as elegantly preserved as the vessel itself. One note in particular, scratched on a small scrap of paper struck me as I rummaged through all the wordings like a hungry rat. It was a short note that made me understand more fully what it means to feel strongly about another person. It read something like:

I was laying in bed all night last night with a heavy load upon my eye lids that squeezed tears down my face thinking about you and how much I miss you being next to me. I layed awake all night with a heavy heart keeping me way down at the bottom of a deep dark place filled with memories of what it was like to be alone. Since you came into my life, I have been a better man than I was before. I wish I had more time on this day to tell you more about my love for you but we are leaving early. I am broken inside but knowing you are there makes me feel strong enough to bear the burden and meet the task. Through you I constantly remind myself of the goodness in people. You are the best example a man could have. Missing you, your friend Michael.

I just thought I would share this. Later! LLc 98.2

I wonder how many good and decent men and women have been lost to history due to the color of their skin. I wonder how many men and women stole from these good people and called whatever they took they're own. Ideas and philosophies have been lost and cheated upon by the stigma of racist beliefs. From this fact, we all have lost ground in the grand scheme of our inevitable march. There is a solution however, and it lies in the research process. By digging and digging into the past lives of forgotten people we can better learn the truth about things that occurred which have layed the framework for our lives now. From this information gathering we can allow the past lives of men and women to shine so we can bring them alive again in the minds eye. From there we can allow the past to truthfully infiltrate our lives to make a positive contribution to all those who should do the same in the future. This is learning, this is fair, and this is life.

T

Timing and fate are two things that drive the world. Decisions are then made based on these things, whatever they may be. Control, that is for children. If control is what you seek, then you will surely be disappointed in the outcome. There are simply too many variables in the world to have any form of control. Laws try to control, but those who make the laws break the laws. Do they all break them? Yes, in one way or the other, they all do. In reality, our social world is fabricated on decisions and laws made after the fact. It is juvenile to think that laws will prevent anything. We all speed, most of us have drank and drove a vehicle, some people have done a significant amount of drugs; other people have found food, gambling, sex, alcohol (America's number one thing), and many other types of temporary bandaids to get them through. The bottom line is that timing and fate are all we have and these two things occur everyday. But we often restrain ourselves due to inner social pressure until the one day when we say fuck it and actually begin to live free to make mistake after mistake. Not because we want to, but because that is what is required when fate and timing are in play during any given situation or investigation

good v bad by design

I guess we all want to be bad; if for nothing else but to try it out and see what comes from it. Many who choose one form of bad or the other eventually find their time is short and all the badness they have done amounts to nothing. In the grand scheme of things there is no difference between what is bad and what is good. In the adult world, what is considered bad is often blurry just like any act that is considered good. Those who choose to live the good life and play by the rules will surely be compensated in the other life. These people choose faith over opulence yet they are separated not by this faith, but by their willingness to live inside the safety and comfort of their own personal bubble which is separate from what is happening in the real world.
Badness has many flavors and justifications, goodness does as well. There is no all good and there is no all bad. There is only our short time here to develop strategies for coping in an often unbalanced life filled with anger and hostility. Being bad has merit because there can be no good without it. The Utopian society can never exist because of this dichotomy, especially within our social frame now. In order to become whole on the inside and out we need to explore and never be content. If that means being bad, so be it. If that means being good and looking good in the eyes of other people, then so be that. The good life is not measured by social networks or expectations of any kind; those things belong to the facade we take on to hide our true desire to be who we are and what we are. Many times what we see and believe in others is completely false. Other times what we see is what we get. In either case, what we see could be perceived to be bad, but in actuality that perception may be based not on the truth of the matter or person, but on the facade that has been designed and layed out over years and years of practice and design. LLc 98.2

everyday in everyway

These days it's hard to tell if were coming or going. Five O clock rolls around and boom were off to the fucking races on our way home to booze, drugs of some kind, food in mass quantities, or some other fucking thing; TV or some shit! Needless to say it is killing us and were doing it in jobs we hate for shit dog money, all so we can afford to buy more shit we can;t afford and probably shouldn't have in the first place. But this is our nature. It is our nature to be morons. Look where we came from in comparison to where we are now. We have gone from rock chippers to reflector wearing speckles with wheels on our shoes. We have more bad movies than ever before since Hollywood's inception and still people flock in droves to the flickers to see the same actors making asses of themselves. I went to the grocery store and once again fell victim to the magazine spreads with Jennifer and Brad and Angela and actually felt bad for these people. Look at what they do for a living. Get over yourself, all the quality actors are dead! But then again, the social world is full of actors. So I guess in that regard those who waist their money on movies might be better off just paying attention to the free entertainment that comes with the everyday in every way.

separation of sameness

There are so many fascinating things in this world and they are all right outside our doors. It's not just the people and things, it's the feelings and almost spacial reciprocity that binds us all apart. This separation of sameness allows us to grow without the cool running water that is always available to us when we need it. We should be bathing in it everyday as if it were air. It should be as natural a function to bath in those waters as it is for us to feel discontented everyday whether it be our jobs, our families, or our lives in general. You see, there is no key to our places and our spots inside those places because they are ours alone. To become fully content is the same as being fully dead inside with no vision for the future other than the inevitable demise we all must ponder.
If it is new they say, it will take some getting used to. Once we stop saying that shit maybe we can finally bind ourselves up inside and around and all over this whole fucking planet man and make a really cool difference in people's lives. Once we abandon those little chicken shit sayings thought of years ago when times really sucked. Once we become socialized to new ideas and perspectives and stop counting on what we learned as kids, then maybe, just maybe we can finally arrive at the same conclusion in all our disillusions. LLc 98.2

We're all afraid of the same things, some of us just choose to hide those fears differently. But beyond our facades and presentations we reveal the real truth about how we feel not only about our life position, but also about the mistakes we have made along the way. For most of us the mistakes have been many. Through it all though we manage to still come up with the same fears that have plagued us from the beginning.
Yes our childhood is all around who we are now. What we have done to this point or that point in our adulthood can be traced back to our childhood expectations; not in so much of an occupational bucket but in more of an attitudinal sphere. Those who have managed to maintain the same enthusiasm for life as they did in childhood are either presumed crazy and successful or just plain crazy. Either way, a win is a win baby. There is no need to run from fear because fear is a good thing, a human thing, a normal thing. I just wish there was not so much of it. Maybe in time we will find a way to display the kind of enthusiasm we had when we were kids.

satelite of D

It is not possible to paint a picture and place yourself in it. The colors never match and the paint is always wet and moving. The pleasure of the piece gets taken away by wear as the colors get sucked from their original source; the negative energy; the satelite of destruction always becomes the primary. The picture must be painted in such a way as to encompass sweat and tears with years and years of trial and error. This cannot be done with any real success other than simple time and realization mixed with the knowledge that we are destined to be exactly and precisely either a success in the social context or a success in the private context. There is no both. What is success anyway? Who decides? I saw a beautiful woman working at a department store. She was altered by a disease. She was shy about it. She need not be around me, I have good satelites anyone can see. My picture is ongoing yet sporadic. There can be no other way.

the temporary state

Whenever possible, one should witness an individual who acts in the world free from the bindings of the world and does so without this knowledge himself. See how he functions in his world and see how that style relates to the social world. Next, ask yourself how important it is to function in the social world and is it necessary to be conscious of it in order to function in it. An individual who has sense can function anywhere. That is not the issue. The issue is not that of functionality. What is at issue here is appearance versus reality and the distance between the two. The subject matter lies in the gap between what is real and true and what is false, acted, and plastic.
Witness an individual who seeks no fortune or form of manipulation. You will not see this man because he will be in the dark corners at night in the mini-malls starving and freezing. He lives among us all. For some of us, we see these people and wonder what it would be like to be free; even though that is not free. They are free in that they are no longer so accepting of having to do the type of work anybody can do making the type of money a monkey could make. For still others of us there is a feeling of disconnection with the social world and all its actors. For these people who sit high atop the fence, there is no need to hustle and bustle to work when work holds no real social value with no real opportunities for social mobility. Being broke is real and true, buying shit you don't need for any other reason than to look good is not. The only relationship between the two is that they are both temporary.

deduction

I think about the songs that have given me great pleasure over the years. I think about them when I am high and I think about them when I am low. There is a song for every occasion and that is as it should be. Music has allowed us to forgive ourselves and make us realize and remember that we are all temporary. There is a need for creativity through music because it does draw upon the nicest of dreams as well as the funkiest of desires. Good music takes raw emotion and puts a beat to it so we can rhythmically remind ourselves that there is pleasure in life and it often comes in bundles like presents or wood. Even when there is no noise, no music, and no real desire to hear anything, there will always be room for at least one song to calm our nerves and drive our senses. By the same token, songs bring about the dark side of our lives which can envelop us just as easily as anything. Even here there is value in song because from here real emotions are free to play on us. This is the struggle we are faced with: the sanctity of dreams and the loss of them simultaneously.

i'm tired

I was in the grocery store earlier today and knew right away there was going to be a problem. As I arrived at the front approx. fifty feet away from the front door I noticed a slow moving couple, well dressed and strutting, just ahead of me and coming from the west. Well, I could not be rude and run just to get in front of them. I had to remain calm and allow them to enter the store as the dynamic couple they obviously were. I knew that no matter where I went once I got in the store that this couple was going to be in front of me taking up the entire fucking aisle. Well, sure enough, as I rounded around the first corner there they were checking out the chips; as if she needed them. I abandoned the notion of chip retrieval and moved on to the frozen foods at the back of the store. I needed some cool whip anyway. I rounded the very back corner of the store, cool whip in hand, and boom there they were getting some ice cream taking up the entire aisle. Well, I had to get some soda and cookies and I knew I had to haul ass. So i quickly grabbed a two-litre bottle, the cookies, a loaf of bread, and a pack of smokes. The lines were long so I went ahead and left the line for the residual check out at the front of the store and yes indeedy there they were holding up the entire fucking universe with a question about some pies and shit. All I wanted to do really was get some soda and cookies, and now I am in a struggle for my very sanity. I had visions of every horrible thing imaginable to happen to this couple. They just seemed like space takers who were looking to make their presence know throughout the world. By this time I had spent far too long in the store dealing with these two to just quit now. I was in it for the long haul baby. I was now watching the clock. i'm tired.

slow moving

Gypsies created this country. If you don't think so, you better read somewhere the truth. Imagine for a moment that you hate where you live. You then get on a boat and bare the ocean currents for days on end with bad food and no waste management. You arrive in a whole new place and then proceed to find new and interesting ways to kill the locals because you are right and they are wrong. If that is not an example of what can happen when panic, humanity, greed, or whatever you want to call it; gypsy revolution, whatever, then I don't know what is. The point is that every new thing is sloppy and difficult to bear. When we see gypsies these days we see people who look just like us and have a value system that may be better than ours, but they don't hurt anyone. They just have a different way of doing things.
There are no more territories to conquer. There are no more people to massacre. The only thing we have now is people who deliver a different perspective and act upon it. Gypsies move around a lot because staying in one place for very long means to indulge in the friction that social life inevitably brings. The gypsy does not run from life, the gypsy indulges in it free from the poison that permeates everything. They experience where others talk about. They have knowledge where others read about. The gypsy is the last real American. The rest of us, well, we are part of the systematic destruction of anything new.

no procedure

Once we get caught up in procedure and status, we forget about the fruit we left outside on the porch. Soon the fruit turns and the ants all get hammered on us. After a time, the ants will wake pissed and require even more munchies. Except this time they will be munching on your ass instead of some old dried fruit. You see, education has too many upper-level managers with ideas they believe are in the best interest of the largest number of kids. Well, that's silly! There are far too many variables in life to implement a "one" kind of education. First and foremost, there needs to be an equal distribution of wealth that goes across district boundaries. Obviously the tax base of one community cannot be as large or small as that of another. Now that is just the way it is. By making available the same hard and software to every school, kids will have opportunities to seek out and fulfill their dreams which need to be built on a foundation that has within its contents the creative materials necessary to facilitate the widest possible base of opportunities for each child. This will create a competition among students from various backgrounds to broaden the horizons of not just one community, but all communities in this country. We need a redistribution of wealth that keeps the promises that current upper-management cannot keep. Education is not a status thing to be abused by over-educated idealistic types. If they want to do something they can write a book. Education is about creativity through the socialization process that harbors the artful and conscious design of a landscape thick with the passions of people that bring about real and progressive change that benefits everyone, not just one group over another specifically.

sterility

I used to think weird people were attention getter's and nothing more. Then again, it is only newsworthy if it is different. However, one could argue that there is more devastation now than ever before in the news and media in general. This fact makes the level of weirdness jump a few notches to a level that is forever expanding to include not only violence, cursing and shit, nudity, drug abuse; and the list just goes on and on. We need weird people now more than ever before. They are the balance to the imbalance; the wind on a static day; the lit moon on a starless night. The weird and the strange should be celebrated. Not like the old days with the traveling circus; although those had to be some pretty cool days. The weird should be incorporated into our daily lives. They should help people see the difference between the real and unreal by shining lights on the sterility of it all and throwing some mud on that shit. LLC 98.2

grey sucks

Something about grey, rainy days that bring the hammer down on me. There is so little to do; not that I ever did much anyway. I could go bowling I suppose, but that would require me to put on and then take off then put on again, a lot of clothes just to participate in an overpriced and worthless game that has brought me more sorrow than cheer. I could stay indoors and wish the grey away. Maybe that way I can bring out the sun so I could walk about through all the muddles. I hate grey days because it closes the doors of my perception and weakens me to the point of slumber.

artful deception

What is real is the art of deception that meanders like a snake through, in, and around every facet of our social world. Clogged with words that mean one thing but always represent another; the simple fuel that leads the masses astray, our society has become predictable and complacent. Anything new is immedately shut down and criticised for its existence. The art of deception requires but one thing, it needs to have vulnerability. The media provides this vulnerability by telling us what we don't have, what we should have, and why we need these things. We are told what we are without giving any other notion even a simple second thought. Because we are so dependant upon what we need to hear, we have failed in our original intention to become guided by the idea that anything is possible. Deception has disabled us from ourselves and turned us into a stack of cows that feed upon one another because all the grass in the field is chewed up and manufactured out. What is left is the stripped bones of fallen ideas and dreams. Deception is more real than anything because we live by it, more so than the truth of the matter. LLC 98.2

reality of unreality

The reality is there is no reality. There is no social hierarchy to die for or compare oneself to. This is a fabrication put together long ago by non-elegant smart ass white people. It is the same these days, as in those days, with art. The reality, if there must be one, is that there are more people in jail, therapy, and dead because of this makeshift real world we live in. We have more divorce, more discourse, and more all around unhappiness than ever before; with the exception of war, world-wide disease or famine, or anything else that man can provide. All one has to do is think for a moment about how long we have here and where we stand on the timeline of life. Our reality, the only one that matters, is the one inside our minds as it relates to real life situations. By that I mean we shouldn't stray too far away from the reality of our unrealities.

no control

How do we find control in a world that is out of control? Look at listen and what you see and hear each day. It will not be long before there are remote controlled advertisements that will then manifest into programmed flying zeppelin-like machines that dangle neon messages about ways to save money by spending it on their products. None of this makes any sense yet we can do nothing about it. This is a living, breathing thing that was set loose many moons ago by a single idea. Now look at us. Look at what we have become.
We seek control in an out of control world because we all need to feel like we have control over something at least. I know a young lady who is more clueless than most people. However, she is content in her cluelessness because in her mind her two kids are in her control. So at least, in her mind, she has some control over something. All other decisions are made for her and not by her except with the kids. She has now transformed herself from citizen to mother. She will bring her kids up blaming everyone else. This cycle is what makes society weak and complacent, reliant on information that comes through media which is always questionable and usually out of control.

waiting for a ghost

I wish you were here. I really really do. I know your out there somewhere and you are thinking about me. You may even be in a relationship with someone and think of me every day; I used to be that way. But now I think about you often enough I guess to keep me going. It is the one thing, the one dream I have that if actualized I would not know what to do. I do know this much however, if I finally got with you and we became close, everything else from that point forward would be more tolerable. As it stands now I am alone like most people, and I am afraid of what could happen if I try and find you. At this point fate does not seem to be working out. But still I wait for you smile and your touch. I wait for the cool nights when I can lay next to you and sleep like a baby. I wait for nights when I can rub your back and kiss the back of your neck. I am waiting for a ghost.

no static

It is our dreams that give us the strength to get out of bed in the morning. It is a change of circumstance that prevents the dreams from happening because we are afraid to leave what we have now even though, if your me, we don't have much to lose. It is easy to say they can have everything because it can all be replaced. But what about how it would look in the eyes of other people? This is really all we concern ourselves with and we really need to get away from that frame of mind. It is like a spinning wheel that always stops on the same number and with every spin comes a new shade of grey upon our heads. Keep dreaming, but we also need to activate different circumstances in order to not become static.

money all about

I saw a peace sign on the back of a car today. It is symbolic of an individuals belief in non-violence and "No War". As if History does not prove that no violence and no war should never happen. Of course it should never happen. Of course war is bad and hurtful. But being a lover of peace and placing little peace signs on your car will never make your dream of non-violence and no war possible. You will still be the same idealistic bubble liver who dreams in one world but lives in another. The human race is anything but peaceful but nickels and dimes will always be made on the sale of trinkets that symbolize a utopian society free from reliance on other countries. After all it is really all about money, isn't it?

always have been

Shield the rain that inevitably comes from your ducts no longer. Holding back these kind of emotions means the manifestation of a new habit built upon another. This will continue until you have a monument of you built up so high it would take twice as long to break it apart. The problem with that is the monument of yourself is nowhere near the real you. It is a representation of one thing built upon another and it is all based, at least in part, on a lack of ability to release emotions in tear form. This would be especially helpful for all people as it is not gender specific. We just get caught up sometimes and forget just how strong and valuable we all are. Let the salt flow in public or private and laugh a little. These two things will generate a fresh outlook that will remind you of the person you always have been but forgot about.

suffering commercially

Commercials made up by people in ad agencies, shoveled through the media, bought and paid for by fat cats in their desire to create more revenue for their companies, really do have an effect on all of us. Ads are so pervasive these days that we do not have to be conscious of them all to get what they are selling. Our brains pick up everything and we remember the colors in the ads on the highways just as easily as we remember the bearded guy who sells orange clean between 2 and 7 in the morning. I even have some of that shit myself. It smells like warm, oily oranges simmering on a stove way up high in the mountains. No walls, no cabin; just a stove in the woods next to a really big tree filled with chiggers and mites. Commercials and media ruins people for generations as the successful adman buys yet another shiny new thing to display his power. Meanwhile, people in society actually believe their bullshit. We all suffer in our beliefs.

stirefoam

It was a remarkable sight and it took breathe away from the deepest part of me. In her every move was an elegance, a confidence in stride that turned my silly side on a slippery slope. Every thought in my head was lustful. I wanted her in my mouth and all over me and everywhere else. But then I remembered how it is not good to feel a physical attraction toward women; especially beautiful, sexy, stunningly outstanding possessing an overall oneness with God and nature, type woman. However, After some thought I began to reflect on the Bible and all the murder, lust, and deceitful practices that are present within the text. No matter what happens, there will still always be a genuine need for stirefoam.

free

Take loose of the stigma and act accordingly, but only for a short time longer. The life plans are kept secret inside and are for nobody's ears but yours and mine. Take the seeds and let them feed from rays of light until they bloom with colors bright. Take loose of the stigma that was planted inside by someone other than yourself and watch it tear off in search of another person to latch on to. Take the bag of rocks and put it down. On top of the bag lay your gloves. After a few seconds, when habit wants you to put those gloves back on, just stop and look at the bag your past; appreciate it, then move on. That portion is now gone forever so you are now free to persue other endeavors.

expectation zone

Often our expectations meet with reality and we find these two ideals to be completely opposite of one another. We sometimes forget that the inner utopian existence must always remain on the inside far removed from the exterior. If you strike gold and have a feeling that what you are experiencing right now resembles that of the utopian spectacle, then you must keep that feeling to yourself and never tell a soul. This must be done because it is impossible to show the elation of a dream fulfilled. Expectations and realities are two different concepts. Why? Because expectations cannot include the feelings, reasonings, and plausabilities that must preclude any realization because before any realization can be made it must be done in a specific context and in a specific situation. One never knows the things leading up to the utopian existence because people think too much in the end capacity while paying little attention to the required details. All the flavor is in the details. The details are in reality while expectations focus more on the result. There is a hell of a lot of space inbetween these two very different concepts which leave the depression door ajar so we can slither inside; to be free of reality in the expectation zone.

sophisticated ride

It was quite a ride, that silence, that solice. The multitude of fascinations and inclinations that have came across my path have been numerous to this point. I am overwhelmed at times and in need of a faithful servant, a lover, a friend. In my alone time I have learned to take down the wall that has been so pervasive in my every thought and encounter. But still I harbor that everpresent armor that we all try so hard to hide from time to time. This is not a weakness of character, it is but one small part of a most significant ride. LLC

no bs man

I seek my even flow from the waters that never vary in strength or consistency. They run smooth and crisp while cutting through the meadows that are packed with pine trees like crayons in the box. I feel too much here and the words drive me mad. The cars, the noise, the way people are and act; this is all so far removed from our practice. When we were younger we role played visciously. That was us kids creating our behavior; the scrappy kind amongst others cubs like us. That was our practice. We get older and lose our play and exchange it for conformity so we can get grey and die unhappy as the kids piss all the money away while claiming they actually earned it only to wind up pulling doubles at Leroy's Big Mouth Burger while harboring a meth addiction and an affinity for schnapps, imported beer, and cam nons. Yes, an even flow is what I seek. The kind that is free from any and all bullshit! But hey, is that really possible?

striking somewhat

In our consciousness we endeavor the best they can see. We seek the approval of those who we admire even if we don't even know them or have nay reason to trust them. We do this in the hope of self improvement and material gain; not to mention the social standing and responsibility that comes with these roles. What is unexpected is coming to grips with the knowledge that those you once thought to be your friends are actually not as close as you would have liked. That said it is the number one most important thing to become involved in persuits that are relevant only to you. Balance comes when you learn how to treat people along the way by remaining leary of those who strike a pose at every chance they see a reflection of themselves; to check themselves and make sure their presentation is somewhat striking and individualistic.