inside and out

Take all the things that make you feel good and wrap them up inside a warm blanket and hold that blanket tight. Never become so involved in the out of control things and lose who you are. Let me tell you what you are not: You are not your job; you are not the sister or brother, mother or father; you are not the good son or the bad daughter; you are now and have always been an individual who is and always has been free from these labels. If you think about it, you cannot play any of these role effectively without first always being an individual who embodies a meaning that is completely separate from any one role you can ever play beyond all words anyone can say to the contrary. Through you, you can become a better actor and have each role you play have real meaning within the context of any given situation. This is the birth of sincerity and compassion and these two things are best represented in all our transgressions that may even run contrary to our original idea. This is the comfort of our blankets inside and out.

hearts to feel

I found inspiration through the lack of sleep. In these days I see things I should not see and feel things I should not feel. I come to lose understanding and become uncomfortable with some of the choices I have made. I succomb to the idea that somehow I am not worthy of the chances I have been given, but things have never been easy for me. For the longest time I felt on the outside of reality far removed from everyone else. I have always felt like nothing more than an actor who plays various roles on one really big stage among a meriad of people.
As I have grown older I have come to understand that we are all actors who roleplay among other actors in different situations. I truely understand how easy it is to get wrapped up in things we have no control over and sometimes one role takes precedence over all others. This is where I sometimes get lost and overcome with despair because I forget about what mekes me feel nice. It is bothersome having to play one specific role and have that one role seep into every other aspect of my life; including my sleeping life.
I sometimes want to find a place of isolation and darkness where I can figure things out on my own. I know I am not alone in my lonliness, but still that does not make things any less tough. It is my dream for everyone around me to be happy and smiling often. If a smile can come from a place of difficulty; and for that one moment there is nothing in life but a feeling of relief through the glory of laughter, well, sometimes that is just what needs to happen at that one point in time to make the rest of the day tolerable. That to me is what can bring the most joy. There is nothing like laughter to remind us all just how perfect things really are if we allow our eyes to see, our hands to touch, and our hearts to feel.
There is a place we all know on the inside that is completely rational and simple. It is a place of simplicity where we find the most cause to forget about the sorrows we feel. It is a place that requires no real thought and no real struggle. It is as natural as running water and it tastes just as good. What does your place look like? How does it feel there? Is there music and cool breezes? Do you feel the calm of your heart as you .....

drive the endless

Witness another as they sit or stand alone. They feel some kind of pain inside that drives them away from the one(s) who love them. Sometimes you can talk with them and try and make them understand that what you say is meaningful. They may not want to hear these words, especially from you. But what can happen is over time they may find a way to receive the love you give. Over time they may come to understand that they are capable of receiving love even when what they are told on the inside is the exact opposite. The whole idea is to play along their lines giving them plenty of room to learn how to accept love you give. It may never happen; not the way you would like, but what can happen is a whole new idea centered around not on what is not possible, but rather what is possible when one allows another the room necessary to relive the same passions they once experienced before whatever happened, happened. This is not unique. This is not unusual. This is human and it is nothing to be ashamed of. Never drive away those who love. In doing so you drive away the endless possibilities.