Thursday, January 18, 2018
We do all we can when we witness someone close to us who is winding down from this life. Very often, people get old and nobody pays attention. They may be thinking about the realities of life and how the day is coming for all of us. But when you see someone like your mother going through memory loss and dementia, the process of coming to the inevitable becomes more rigorous. I recall pulling into the grocery store one day. As I opened the door I noticed an elderly lady standing by a car looking as if she was trying to figure out where she was. By that time my mother had just began showing signs of dementia. I stopped in front of the lady and she looked at me as if I was intruding on her space. I said nothing to her and continued walking toward the entrance. I knew I saw at least some portion of the future in that lady. I recall when I was in my early twenties. I told my parents that when the time came, I would be there. Well, it's been almost 5 years and I have given up my own pursuits to fulfill the promise I made to my parents. Over the last few years I have made it a point to clarify and/or rectify any and all issues we may have had over the decades. This has been accomplished and as far as that goes, I feel as though I am lucky. My two brothers and sister, however, have been too much into themselves to even make a single phone call to her. I know them and I am aware that my siblings are and have always been very selfish... not unlike many American people today. When the day comes and my brothers and sister show up, it will be my duty to inform them that their mother was aware of the fact that no calls were made and there was no effort on their part to interact with their mother when she needed to have that human family around her. In a way, I know how they feel and just don't have it in them to let the past go. I can only hope that they show up here one day soon to give the warmth and support their mother should have... the very love she would give with every ounce of her being.
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