In our country, over a dozen kids will kill themselves today. They will do this for many reasons. Today, more than a dozen adults will kill themselves in our country. They too will do this for various reasons. Nobody needs to see or understand their reasons. Maybe nobody can understand their reasons. Maybe there wasn't enough money for anybody to understand.

Alice in Chains- Nutshell (lyrics)

Thus far, the best choice I have made in life is to not have children. This is without question the best decision I have ever made. Even when I was a kid, I knew I did not want kids. Maybe it's because I was such a shit growing up. I had a girlfriend in my early 20's and she would have liked nothing more than to be a mother. And here I am, "be a mother?" Needless to say, we didn't last much longer after that time. I could have made all my mistakes in my early 20's... and I did by drinking them to the max. But never once during that time did I impregnate any woman, receive any disease, or hurt any body else. I only hurt myself and those closest to me. I was running from myself. Turns out, I was running away from something that I would have to live with everyday... for the rest of my life. They call it depression and I can think of a few other words to use in its place.

I am becoming less and less interested in the day to day of my life. I am only seeing the negative. I am only hearing the negative. I suspect my friends are no friends at all... just users looking to make things easier for themselves. I watch television and the programming is the same. The news-media is all commentary and political. I see people with their phones, but no people with people. I am seeing connected-ness, but at the same time a serious disconnect. I am seeing too much me and not enough of everything else. What is normal today would be considered abnormal not more than 20 years ago.