stripped pants and orange slippers

My uneasy patterns deny me the right to become the man I once was. As a child, it was the garden that gave me the most joy. In the garden every morning I would check for cracks in the soil to see if my carrots or lettuce or watermelons were coming. I remember vividly how it made me feel as if I were a part of something greater than myself. The garden taught me how to watch over and care for something that had life and value. It was not a requirement mind you; my folks encouraged enthusiasm for things so long as those things were not hurtful to people. I was fortunate enough to have a great neighbor who had corn growing in his back yard and he was the one who inspired me to start a garden for myself.
The garden was my single solitary place where everything else in my life was simply not there- and I was content. I grew as we all do and developed patterns contrary to my garden space. I became one who took more than I should and I made nothing but lies and created nothing but cries. I became a selfish young man with desires and fires burning inside that ushered in more representatives from the darkness: These are the spiritual entities that guide people through the tough times cloaked and spiteful on the inside with a specific design in mind.
I finally reached an age where I could no longer tolerate myself and decided to find my original way. I had to go back to the times when there was grace in my life. I needed to find rhythm again. I found my place but it no longer requires water and stares. My new space is a solitary one but the cracks come not from the ground but by the sounds that fill my ears and grind away my tears in the words that come through the spaces provided by the entities of the beautiful ones that require no deceit, no lies, and no ties that bind the imagination and turn the soul in the wrong direction. They are the ones who know that I have the same worth as a dandruff on picture day.
My uneasy patterns give me the right to be the individual I am and have become. I fall in no lines and yet I wear stripped pants and wear orange slippers everytime I leave the house. 98.2 LLC