Monday, December 31, 2018
There is a reason a king of the hill exists in various forms. He is king of that hill because has eliminated his competition in one way or the other... dirty if he has too. In order for him to maintain power, he must make it so that within his community there is relative peace along with many things to keep them occupied.
To control someone, you have to isolate them from outside influence. Just the other day I went to a sandwich shop. There were 17 people in the shop... a few couples. The one's who were waiting for their meal were on their phones. Those who were finished with their meals went straight for their phones. I watched them quietly stare at the glow of their screens. Although people were together under one roof, nobody was talking. I have rarely seen such a classic example of isolationism so plainly. It seemed as though each person was living in separate realities.
Sunday, December 30, 2018
History has not a damn thing to do with what is written or what you believe. History is something one needs to seek out. Words on a page are just that until one compares words from different pages written by different people at different times from different places at different stages... of their lives.
Saturday, December 29, 2018
The mother fish swims mostly on the bottom while the young ones feed off the top. Off the top a fish can find the shiniest of things, tempting things on which to bite. Among the young some learn faster than others. One day, these smarter fish get to swim in the middle where there is more safety and larger chunks from which to nibble.
A significant proportion of people in this country who own vehicles, single vehicles for work and entertainment purposes, do not need them. In fact, much of what a significant proportion of the population buys brings only temporary happiness... which is why there is always a need for more, more, more. Nowadays, it is the act of buying itself that brings on the buzz. Except now it is done largely in seconds, by phone, to be delivered. You cannot believe the amount of brick and mortar buildings that have already begun to rot.
Friday, December 28, 2018
Wednesday, December 26, 2018
Saturday, December 22, 2018
Know Not I
Problems begin once you try to fit in with people and situations not meant for you. It is something one knows and yet rarely pays attention too... especially when they are young. For example, I knew when I was a kid that I was not meant for marriage or fatherhood. I therefore knew that I was never going to be operating on a level that is conducive to being those things. I was never going to have the same job for life. I was never going to need to have a savings for my family. I was never going to worry about insuring my family. I mean, I was thinking about these things when I was 7. I was only going to need the bare minimum and if I wasn't using what I had, there would be no need for it. It took me over 20 years to break away from social expectations and comparisons between myself and other people. It took two Master's degree's to help me understand what I knew when I was 7... that I didn't know anything, but I knew what I was not.
The self cannot be captured on film unless the self is unaware. Otherwise, what you have is a heightened view of "a self" coming from the self. It's like a second, more transparent layer of the self that is being revealed for the viewer. A real picture of someone's self would bring about more than just a conversation.
Friday, December 21, 2018
Thursday, December 20, 2018
Tuesday, December 18, 2018
Monday, December 17, 2018
Sunday, December 16, 2018
Saturday, December 15, 2018
Friday, December 14, 2018
Love is the one, true way. And love requires trust. But how does one find ways to trust people when many people are inherent assholes? You learn to sift through the garbage with less media running through your mind and more music, more art, more going outside to play with friends and family each and every day.
Wednesday, December 12, 2018
Tuesday, December 11, 2018
It's the beginning of the night and I am alone in a dark room watching movies and listening to music. The phone is not ringing and I am expecting no calls. Tomorrow it will be light and I will be alone with myself... among other people. It is my sincere hope that I spend as little time with other people as possible tomorrow or any other day.
Saturday, December 8, 2018
One of the biggest mistakes anybody can make is comparing himself to other people using the same measures, goals, and outcomes. This fails because it assumes the goals are the same. If the goals are different, then it stands to reason the road will be different. Measures, goals, and outcomes must be different in every case.
Thursday, December 6, 2018
Tuesday, December 4, 2018
Monday, December 3, 2018
As we move from Warhol's 15 minutes of fame turning into 25 minutes, the attention span of the masses is on the decline. Individuals are becoming less and less interested with greater and greater frequency unless it pertains directly with the self. Yet our internet searches and the games we play on our various forms of technology reveal the true loneliness that comes with it all.
Various forms of mysticism are on the rise as people are seeking answers from places not associated with the mainstream which has been corrupted by corporate/monied interests. This is nothing new as it has been on the rise since the 70's. Once one eats all the others and they become one, then what? Inevitable decline. Only within the world of art will answers be found. Everything else has a damn stamp on it!
Sunday, December 2, 2018
Saturday, December 1, 2018
Thursday, November 29, 2018
I wish I knew the meaning of all this ridiculousness we call life. None of us chose to be here and nobody knows the reason(s) why we are here. The way I see it and from what I understand, I was conceived in late February during a drunken night between two horny people in the year of our lord... 1969. After 2 MA's with one in Sociology both minoring in philosophy (The Greeks really piss me off!), neither I nor anybody else I have ever read or talked with about it has the answer(s) either. Historically, people look to religion, but that only brings blood, lies, and wars. So far, the area of sociology/philosophy comes closest for me. They are one in the same really with psychology walking right beside them both. I got into sociology because I needed to find out if what I was seeing made me crazy. Turns out, the people who began the study of people, their patterns, and processes (groups) were in fact certifiable. But this holds true for anybody at the cusp of something new. It seems we are all very much products of the social system in which we know from a very young age. We are the products of every word and situation at home growing up and every word and situation as we age. We are in constant flux. There are those who really believe, for example, in the sanctity of marriage and consider it a vital aspect of their lives. There are those who see life as more of an adventure to be taken, always on the move looking to conquer new heights and set new goals. Among us still are those who wonder and wander in a seemingly endless pattern of the same shit every day. Among these people are some of the most dedicated, hard working people on the planet. In each individual case, in every instance, when confronted with the big question over a beer after work or speaking softly at the library about it shooting texts with the seriousness of all that is everything, each answer will fall into agreeable categories. Rarely will there be something unheard of or just awe-inspiring. It always comes back to religion no different from the ancients. This suggests, in measurable instances (one could say) that we as a species have quite a long ways to go. I know what I believe. I believe all life and death as we know it is part of a larger system far and away beyond what we are capable of seeing, knowing, or understanding. The fact is that we live on a super small planet for an average of 75 years should make everybody wonder. The fact that we occupy the only part of space capable of harboring life should scare the shit from everybody!
Tuesday, November 27, 2018
You often hear about how the professors at the local college can be kind of strange... whether they be male or female. I am reminded of the professor from the movie "Animal House" played by Donald Sutherland. Needless to say he was just about right as far as real and true layed-back profs go. He would be classified as a realist, yet in it because he knows it so well and the money is good. However, many professors go off the deep end because of the things they have learned or are currently learning about that has brought them great disappointment. Many act in solitude because sometimes the things they find out are shocking requiring a bottle or two of wine. rarely will they speak in private about these things. Rarely will they speak at all about these things.
Sunday, November 25, 2018
Unless they are living their personal dream and telling you all about their personal adventures and how they themselves alone turned themselves alone into a "success story" all alone with no outside help from anybody but their own hand and sweat, then they are leaving a few things out. Nobody does anything alone. You can be completely broke and out of touch alone. You can be a total drunk alone. You can be in a relationship alone. But nobody does anything or becomes anything... alone. The issue is that people either grow apart or hang on to something that was never really there to begin with.
A Beautiful Word
I really enjoyed Calligraphy class in high school. I practice my handwriting not as often as I should. I swear nothing could possibly be more personal these days than to receive a hand-written letter from someone who cares about you. Something like:
Dear Samantha,
It's been too long since we have talked. It has ached me for years. Nothing in this world seems colorful enough in my life because you are nowhere around. Where there once was an openness in me has now become closed off and void.
... I am afraid however that hand-written letters are becoming less and less of an occurrence. When I was finishing college in 2012 there was nobody taking noted by hand like i was doing. I was doing it the hard, long way. I rarely read the books because I needed the money for other things like rent and bongs (lol, kidding). I wrote and continue to write in these little books by hand. I do it mostly because I think it's fun to feel the flow of a beautifully written word... a beautifully written word.
Dear Samantha,
It's been too long since we have talked. It has ached me for years. Nothing in this world seems colorful enough in my life because you are nowhere around. Where there once was an openness in me has now become closed off and void.
... I am afraid however that hand-written letters are becoming less and less of an occurrence. When I was finishing college in 2012 there was nobody taking noted by hand like i was doing. I was doing it the hard, long way. I rarely read the books because I needed the money for other things like rent and bongs (lol, kidding). I wrote and continue to write in these little books by hand. I do it mostly because I think it's fun to feel the flow of a beautifully written word... a beautifully written word.
Saturday, November 24, 2018
Never be what you despise for money. I tried being a salesman... and was quite good at it. But there was something about it that made me feel cheap, petty, and odorous. In order for me to maximize my efforts toward more cash, I had to sell inferior products we bought at nothing. If I sold the good stuff, the place and myself couldn't make anything. I had to use half truths and full lies every day at work and then every night after work it would be beers and more beers and sex and beers and more sex. It was a vicious cycle and it threw me astray into the abyss chilling over at Satan's house (negative influences, people with dark vibes). I never liked salesman simply because I know going in they are completely full of shit... but I know they have to make a living and somebody has to pay for their drinks so....
Friday, November 23, 2018
Wednesday, November 21, 2018
Tuesday, November 20, 2018
Friday, November 16, 2018
I do not think that it is necessarily a bad thing to lose ones mind on occasion. So long as nobody gets hurt and no property gets damaged or stolen, losing ones mind can be quite exhilarating. It is certainly nothing to be ashamed of. But real and true episodes of this "tamed madness" cannot be relevant if it happens out of habit. Genuine episodes of madness come not in patterns, but spaces in time where there is too much of nothing surrounded by too much of everything else.
Wednesday, November 14, 2018
Some people are not designed to be around a lot of people at any one time. If it does happen, it is by chance only. I am one of those people who love anonymity. I can watch everything on the street in the social world and nobody knows. I think we all do this to a certain extent. I think we all watch one another. I think we all have that "what am I going to look like and sound like in their eyes mentality," so to speak. The job is where much of this type of acting takes place. But a night on the town is about the same thing as we all worry and wonder how we are doing in their eyes while we perpetrate our stories and semi-crimes.
Tuesday, November 13, 2018
There is not just one devil, but many devils among us. But there will come a day when the main character on the world stage will in fact be the great deceiver, the actual one who will go down in history as humanities greatest destroyer. Those around him will assist in making this happen and they will do so willingly. There will be many who line up beside him.
Monday, November 12, 2018
Saturday, November 10, 2018
It is impossible to draw real and true reason from politics when the only information one is gathering comes from a single news channel or even a number of them. If people are interested in the ways of the political world, one needs to follow the money and influence as they are one in the same. In this society money is God!
Friday, November 9, 2018
Eliminate the lies and drama from your life. If the people around you bring you dismay, make it so you no longer have to be around them. They will understand unless they are getting off making your life more dramatic than it should be. The power is in you... to be filled with gratefulness, not drama and petty bullshit!
Thursday, November 8, 2018
One goal makes another goal possible. If the goals are reasonable and doable, then the ultimate goal can be reached. If you can reach your goals without compromising any values you hold to be true, then you will one day be more secure in everything you do... and the people around you will be genuine.
Wednesday, November 7, 2018
Sometimes, the very best form of therapy (if one chooses to call it that...) is someone who is willing to listen to what you have to say. If they can take it a step further and hear the words you are using and the ways in which you are using them... when you are ready for a response, it will be worth hearing. In a situation where someone is giving you their time, it is very much a part of it all that you listen to the response. Otherwise, it has all been for nothing. This can be done casually in an open setting with or without people around or it can be done in private over a scotch rocks and a pack of reds. We all need ally's in life and there are simply too few people in the world who are willing and capable of being a good and proper listener/responder. If you find one, cherish him/her as their value is without a price.
Tuesday, November 6, 2018
The sooner we make friends with our demons, the better off we will all be. By friends I mean they need to be acknowledged and dealt with on an individual basis. For example, I lived with with two women for a time in the 90's. One was hefty, shall we say, while the other was either at her job or jogging her dog before bed. I mean to tell you, this woman ran her dog every day after work and after that she went right to sleep to get to her job early. One day i caught her taking a swig of juice from the fridge and asked, "Do you ever just stop and rest?" She told me that if she ever stopped and thought her depression would get the best of her. She had the idea that if she just stayed busy her demons, in this case depression (among other things), would leave her alone. We parted after she moved away with some guy. My demons are many and for the longest time I not only fed them, but i ran with them straight into the abyss... and a little bit further. They still have their ways with me, but none of those ways include alcohol. They have other ways by which I can hate myself.
Monday, November 5, 2018
Sunday, November 4, 2018
Saturday, November 3, 2018
Machines keep calling the phone. I called a machine to fix the problem i am having with machines. Needless to say, I'm waiting for a machine to call me back... you know what man, fuck this shitski! Politics sucks and the whole thing is rigged to high Heaven. Lawyers and bankers run the show. Politics is the argument between them. By the time it gets to fox or CNN, they sprinkle it all with fairy dust and turn the whole thing into a soap opera with them as key players. It a fucking circus at the public level. Game shows, news pundits... it's no wonder we all don't wear capes to work and call ourselves Billy! out-loud every-time we enter a building.
Thursday, November 1, 2018
And each one of the members of the town, regardless of their social standing or self-importance, were placed in a box and then lowered into the ground we walk on today. People generations ago were lowered into the ground and each one of them were marked in someway as having been real and true. They may have been part of a beautiful Cemetery that was once taken care of by caring people. But as time has flown by that same place may no longer exist as even the markers themselves may have been absorbed by the environment on top and below. All this happens, generation after generation... on a speck of dust floating... in a sunbeam.
Wednesday, October 31, 2018
There is no question that there are some people in this world who are dying, just dying to screw you out of something, anything. These people will take everything they can from you and they will do it while acting through what they call "friendship." These people are leeches who steal away your life blood. Very often they are of the opposite sex and use the act of physical love to make their ends meet. However, friends often do the most damage and will very often be the first ones to throw you under whatever bus they can find. There is nothing easy in this life and very often it is the people that surround us, the one's we thought cared about us, who do the most damage. All things considered, no matter who we surround ourselves with, no matter who we claim to love and no matter who claims to love us... it is ourselves we must love first. This cannot be done through the use of another person as a means to that end. Once we individually figure out how to treat ourselves with the things that bring us calm and/or joy we can move forward while making clearer decisions about those we choose to surround ourselves with and those we choose to leave alone.
Tuesday, October 30, 2018
Doing Well
If you can do many things well, friends you will have. If you focus on doing one thing really well, the friends you have will shape your future. In the end, once you cash in your chips, you will be damn lucky if you have one good friend. Through it all, the journey is the reason for the season. Reaching goals are nice. I quit college at 20 and didn't go back till I was 37. When I was finished I had 2 Master's, one Bachelor, and two AA's. The fact that I am broke and in huge debt does not bother me as I have always been broke. Hell, if I had money I would share it anyways so...
Monday, October 29, 2018
I am Awake
I was alone one night. It was the weekend, but I had no money. I tried to think of something fun I could do without having to pay money to do it. So I robbed a gas station and flew to Vegas, got two hookers and an 8 ball and partied until the police picked me up for robbery. lol, just kidding....
I thought and though about it and I came to realize that my fun, since I grew up so to speak, has been economically based. This means I have been used to paying money for things like going to the movies, going bowling, playing a round of golf, having lunch and dinner during those days... and it all costs money. And then it hit me. Reading! That was the answer for me. I walked to the library and found one book I have always wanted to read. When I was young, I read a lot in the evenings. I realized that I had forgotten that which brings me peace, quiet, and joy all at the same time for the low, low price of nothing. I am awake today...
I thought and though about it and I came to realize that my fun, since I grew up so to speak, has been economically based. This means I have been used to paying money for things like going to the movies, going bowling, playing a round of golf, having lunch and dinner during those days... and it all costs money. And then it hit me. Reading! That was the answer for me. I walked to the library and found one book I have always wanted to read. When I was young, I read a lot in the evenings. I realized that I had forgotten that which brings me peace, quiet, and joy all at the same time for the low, low price of nothing. I am awake today...
Friday, October 26, 2018
Daily poet
The poetry of the day can move in every direction separately or all at once together. But at the end of the day, the ending always brings you back around to the comfort and anticipation that exists at the beginning. Being able to make a poem from your day can only bring you a different take, a different way in which to approach how your day progresses. And you can always know and look forward to the end of your day, the end of your poem where you get the opportunity to put on some music that really moves you just the way you want to be moved... at that time, at the end of your poem... your poetry of the day.
Learning
I can't help but feel like something is about to happen in the near future. Things are getting politically sticky and every time that happens some skirmish develops somewhere requiring a military intervention. I swear there is nothing more dirty, more dark, or more evil than political operatives doing the bidding of their money masters and manipulators. I mean, it's like a spy novel... it has to be. The only thing I know is that I am on the side of The Constitution and have total respect for all military personnel. They fight for The Constitution. I only hope whatever happens does not happen here. I do not think we can handle it right now. The propaganda is too strong... so strong it can actually light off something unthinkable, a civil war. I can only hope that one day we can all look back and learn... learn.
Wednesday, October 24, 2018
A whole new market can be created inside the mind of a man. By Market I mean an avenue upon which to develop streams of revenue. But this revenue is the kind that exists within the mind. The more of it you have, the more peace and satisfaction you feel as a human being who is alive today. For some people, it takes a lot of work because they believe it takes a lot of work. This is absolutely fine. But the process itself must be created and maintained by the individual. There is no charge for making the effort and there can never be any more apologies. You just go about the business of developing the best of you while at the same time treating people with common courtesy and no pretenses. A whole new market can definitely be created (as well as some pretty cool friendships) and the currency has real and lasting weight behind it.
Witch language is found everywhere from children's books to top shelf music. It is what it is and it invites... the ghosts within to come out and play for a while. It scared people back in the day, but we've all grown up since then. One thing I've learned is you better make friends with the demon(s) you have inside or they will make your days and nights a float down the river of alcohol with one big fucking straw.
Tuesday, October 23, 2018
Monday, October 22, 2018
I can't stand before somebody and tell them their religion is wrong just because it is different than what I believe. That would make me an imbecile. I also cannot disbelieve in the possibility that this entire life is nothing more than a snap of the cosmic fingers of some greater being with one hell of a sense of humor.
Sunday, October 21, 2018
We are all different human beings floating in an oval at about 17,000 miles per hour around an insignificant star that keeps us alive. There is nothing around us for millions of miles. We have approximately 75 years to play before they bury us in the ground... and we will be in the ground floating at about 17,000 miles per hour around an insignificant star that keeps us alive.
I remember in philosophy class the teacher speaking about the importance of being authentic. It was a great lecture. The problem I had was a simple one: what if ones authentic self is that of complication and overvaluation? Her response was, "Become a psychologist." The thing with that is each and every shrink I have ever met was also a patient. This is because it is impossible for someone to earn a living listening to people and their personal problems without having the totality of them all play a role in the therapists personal wilderness.
Saturday, October 20, 2018
Thursday, October 18, 2018
Wednesday, October 17, 2018
Give yourself one night a week where you can calm yourself down in a sea of peace and quiet with The Doors playing softly in the background... just a couple candles lit... everything else off. Nobody else is home so you should take your clothes off and stare into the void and write down what it is you see there. It takes time and practice, but when you find the spot, your spot... your go to place, you will recognize that you are one of the few people who dare to explore the deepest parts of you and the world around you. You will eventually realize that you are indeed... a spirit. That is the very, very short of it.
Tuesday, October 16, 2018
Monday, October 15, 2018
What is meaningful at the age of 20 may not be so meaningful at the age of 30. What means something at 30 may not mean the same thing at 40... and so on. When you are young, you don't think about these things. I did... and I have seen and felt these things to be true. Some say being alone means you miss something in life. You miss raising a family, being married (or not), looking forward to being retired and so on and so forth. I suppose if those things were important to me and I never got to experience them, then yes, I would miss them personally. But since I never ever wanted those things in life, it is impossible for me to miss them. I am a watcher, a witness with a closed mouth to all the words and deeds people use and do.
When I was younger, I would listen to folks talk as if they had the world by the balls and everything belonged to them. Every country-club I went to was full of people who talked just like that and more. Many of them are dead now... laying in the ground. It's the place we are all destined for... it's the place from which nobody can escape. Being humble, being kind and showing love is all we have to represent the light we were all given at birth.
I watched as a blank, dark channel suddenly changed into something called MTV. From that moment, everything in the social world changed. From a Sociological perspective, one could make a good living writing about all the bridges between video music and say... the political or religious world. I mean to tell you one could make a damn fine living talking about that day forward. The first video played was by Buggles and it was called "Video Killed the Radio Star."
The parks were always full in the seventies. You had your rocker dudes and chicks burning weed in the back crankin zep. You had the sporto's playing ball at the diamond. You had the swimmers staying cool and prepared for the coming season. You had the hoopsters playin ball on the courts. The musicians were always somewhere out in the field in a circle playin. You could always find people gathered at the various lakes and waterways fishin and swimmin. There was always somethin goin on...
It's easy to look upon a man's work and call it ludicrous. It's just about the easiest thing to do. Being a critic of someone is just the human element coming out where there is no understanding. Often times, in the instance of reading a book or going deep in the analysis of someone's painting, it takes two or three good go-over's before any understanding can be had. Once understood, the reader or looker may not like what they read or see. But at the very least he or she will understand why they don't like it... and maybe sometime down the road their understandings may differ in some strange way to make them read it again or take one more good, long gander at that wavy landscape.
Saturday, October 13, 2018
Friday, October 12, 2018
Thursday, October 11, 2018
Sometimes, it is the case that an idea or thought... remain an idea or thought. We often hear that ideas can lead to great things... and this is true. Nike began as an idea. However, certain ideas and thoughts can actually do more harm than good when it comes to the everyday. By holding the idea or thought and then comparing it in its very best light against the everyday, it can make the everyday seem like a real drag. That is where gray hair stems from...
I find myself getting down on things... for no real reason. It's been this way for as long as I can remember. There were many times when I was in my 20's where I had to be talked into having a good time. I mean, I had to be convinced. I then graduated to rolling the dice, so to speak. By that I mean I quit caring about what might happen and just went out and did whatever. There were nights I wound up in a cabin up in the hills. There were nights I woke up in another state... both mind and body. I lost my car more than once and I ran through enough drunk women to last a lifetime. I once sat in a room, a motel room with two chicks I did not know. They were so strung out on coke and crank, so strung out on booze and sex that neither one of them could talk. I knew then that I was spending time with the wrong crowd. I have no regrets about those times because no matter how much fun I was having, I never destroyed anything or hurt anybody. One could say I hurt myself and those closest to me. But I suspect things have changed since that time. I have no regrets as I can spot trouble long before it spots me.
Sunday, October 7, 2018
Stars in the Sky
A star is only a star within their own human generation. But the stars in the sky last for all generations. The stars in the sky serve as the foundation for the religion you believe in... right now. What was once unknown is now known as it goes back further than even Egypt. Earthly power once controlled time. We now live by time set by earthly power. Our time is based in the sky. Our history is a history contained within the sky. We are the sky...we are the stars in the sky.
My Favorite Darkness
My favorite darkness is when I can feel comfortably sorry for myself. It's my go-to play in the playbook. I run that play and the pieces all fall into the same predictable positions. From these positions certain pieces can be moved to immediate and favorable spaces. But as the game progresses, players change and circumstances change making certain moves less favorable when seen from a higher, more reasonable perspective. I then remember my place upon the universal game-board and I find there is functioning light operating unevenly within my favorite darkness.
Friday, October 5, 2018
Wednesday, October 3, 2018
Tuesday, October 2, 2018
In our country, over a dozen kids will kill themselves today. They will do this for many reasons. Today, more than a dozen adults will kill themselves in our country. They too will do this for various reasons. Nobody needs to see or understand their reasons. Maybe nobody can understand their reasons. Maybe there wasn't enough money for anybody to understand.
Thus far, the best choice I have made in life is to not have children. This is without question the best decision I have ever made. Even when I was a kid, I knew I did not want kids. Maybe it's because I was such a shit growing up. I had a girlfriend in my early 20's and she would have liked nothing more than to be a mother. And here I am, "be a mother?" Needless to say, we didn't last much longer after that time. I could have made all my mistakes in my early 20's... and I did by drinking them to the max. But never once during that time did I impregnate any woman, receive any disease, or hurt any body else. I only hurt myself and those closest to me. I was running from myself. Turns out, I was running away from something that I would have to live with everyday... for the rest of my life. They call it depression and I can think of a few other words to use in its place.
I am becoming less and less interested in the day to day of my life. I am only seeing the negative. I am only hearing the negative. I suspect my friends are no friends at all... just users looking to make things easier for themselves. I watch television and the programming is the same. The news-media is all commentary and political. I see people with their phones, but no people with people. I am seeing connected-ness, but at the same time a serious disconnect. I am seeing too much me and not enough of everything else. What is normal today would be considered abnormal not more than 20 years ago.
Sunday, September 30, 2018
Saturday, September 29, 2018
Areas of Us
Each of us are a minimum of two people: public and private. The public can be considered the onstage-self while the private can be considered the backstage-self. It is the backstage where preparations are made for our onstage presence. Our attire is wholly dependent upon the venue and the people of that venue... it is therefor largely determined backstage. Acting is taking place in both areas of us.
One never truly gets over a loss. It seems the more we try to bury it or compartmentalize it, the more we get reminded of them or even sometimes feel their presence, real or not. As far as I am concerned, if it's real for you that is good enough for me. No need to get clinical and cynical. This world assassinates who we are relatively early in our lives. No matter which way we go... it's all the same.
Time
When you lose someone there is no real closure. As we get older, we understand that more and more. The more one loves, the more one loses. But who can be helped if they are in love with everything?
It is difficult to bring up the subject of depression with just any friend or acquaintance... or cab driver. The response is often the same in that they minimize you before you have the chance to expose yourself in ways not meant for the un-trusted. These days, it is difficult to even find a shrink to do anything but prescribe pills. I would imagine it is part of their job. In the meantime, at least for me, pills have never been good enough and I don't trust them. It makes me think I would be better off just to start drinking beer again and say to hell with it. I'd be dead in less than 5 years. So, the days pass and nothing changes in my head as the races begin every night, all night, sometime between 12 and 1 in the morning and they run through to mid-morning. I guess if you are born with blinders covering your eyes, you start thinking pretty early in terms of shadows and darkness being normal, everyday fun.
Friday, September 28, 2018
Thursday, September 27, 2018
Wednesday, September 26, 2018
Tuesday, September 25, 2018
Monday, September 24, 2018
Walnuts
Who among us is permanent enough for hatred to matter on one tiny speck of dust within a universal spectrum that is weaved through AEONS of space and time?
It's sort of funny how people never seem to get that it is a bad idea to get with an artist, of any kind (successful or not) and expect things to be just so all the time. Rules don't apply to artistically driven people. Just like all personality types, the artist can be artful at turning your life, your life, into something far and away from what and where it should be. And the bitch of it all, especially in cases like that, is the everyday life that is being acted out is being done with the full knowledge that it is just that... an act. It's no different than prison except this is the worst prison of them all, the mind.
Sunday, September 23, 2018
We experience our lives in individual pieces. We routinely satisfy our immediate needs and try to keep some for tomorrow. Too often however, saving for another day just isn't possible. We have a tendency to keep certain pieces to our puzzle mistakenly thinking they belong in those locations. We then build around those pieces of our lives using someone else's puzzle as a guide. Even if the pieces fit, it is a puzzle of someone else's design which totally sucks all the individuality right out of it.
Saturday, September 22, 2018
Mind Bots
Like soldiers they rise together and fight one another in mortal combat. The colors are bright, the music loud. The strobes are operating in perfect synchronicity opening the doors of perception... letting in the light of the universal spectrum. All the cylinders are constantly firing as the combatants draw closer and closer, over and over again towards one another. Their hot guns ready to burst their death upon one another in a flash of golden/reddish glory while illuminating the spirits within one another to the afterglow of the renaissance to come that will be the end of everything as it has ever been known.
For a Time
We all take this ride for a time. For some of us, the ride is a short one. The loss takes your breath away. But each one of us continues to move forward in our own way. Some of us find solace in things others cannot see. Others among us find solace in what they can see: the flowers, the trees, the grass, the leaves. For this group, it is the simple things in life that bring the most pleasure. There is no feeling like being barefoot in the grass. The only thing better is being barefoot in the grass playing catch with your favorite person in the world while trying to avoid the bees. I would love to do this again one day... if only for a time.
Friday, September 21, 2018
A Hundred Years Time
In a hundred years time I will not be here. You who is reading this will not be here. The both of us, me and you, will be sleeping in different places... maybe in different parts of the world. We will both be sleeping alone. It is only the spirit we have on the inside that will be living. That life will be in another place altogether different than what we were used to when we were alive. I suppose I will be harboring memories from this life. Maybe that's just what it is... maybe that is what this whole thing is about, the gathering of memories both good and bad. But what of the end one must wonder. What could be the ultimate reason for this gathering, so to speak, of memories? Surely there must be a reason. Maybe the reason is beyond what we are able to conceive at this time in our... humanity. In a hundred years time somebody will be looking back on blogs and vlogs and see the people of this time. They will see what we were like when all this began. In a hundred years time people will study what we put down here and they too will realize how similar we are to them... just as we do when we see film of people in 1918. I wonder what things will be like in a hundred years time....
Thursday, September 20, 2018
Wednesday, September 19, 2018
Tuesday, September 18, 2018
Monday, September 17, 2018
Chet Atkins & Jerry Reed "Jerry's Breakdown" 1974 HQ
Chet Atkins & Jerry Reed "Jerry's Breakdown" 1974 HQ
Sunday, September 16, 2018
Wednesday, September 12, 2018
If someone is selling you on what did it for him, he is full of shit and you know it. It's wasted time after that point as even the entertainment value is lost. If it worked for him, terrific and congrats to him. Hopefully he doesn't turn himself into a jerk-off in life. I want to read your book and see your video. Just you is good enough for me in all your authenticity. All ideas originate from our personal trajectories. Those are things you cannot sell. They are your memories which is what everybody is... a memory in somebody else's mind.
Simply put, we were taught to: Finish high school, go to college, get married, secure a lifetime position with growth potential and insurance, plan for retirement, retire, travel, and then age off into the sunset of success before we die. I have questioned this my entire life. My nephew dies when he was a toddler back in 1983. He never went to high school. I have had three friends kill themselves and several family members drink themselves straight into the ground. They all shared a few things in common in that this plan, this so called plan for our success has not a damn thing to do with being successful and/or happy. The whole thing, the entire idea that was layed out for each one of us, well, many of us, is a fabrication of epic proportions and should be of no real measure against anybody's particular position in life at any one point in time.
Monday, September 10, 2018
If it makes even the slightest bit of sense... if it costs me more time to understand, then that is time well spent. Every time someone goes deep into an unknown world, their experiences within that world are relevant and extraordinary. In such places, embellishments are commonplace and very often unnecessary. The people they meet, the places they go all form a chain of events that mold a life. It may not be the life of fiction like in the movies or in dreams, but it will be real and it will have a flavor all its own. That is all anybody can expect from this life... just to live in ways that are open to experience and yet careful enough of those who play it all as if it were A Game.
Sunday, September 9, 2018
Friday, September 7, 2018
Thursday, September 6, 2018
Wednesday, September 5, 2018
Tuesday, September 4, 2018
In the 1970's, the local parks would be full of kids like me playing basketball, baseball, swimming, playing hide and go seek before the sun went down... and once that sun dropped and the street lights came on, it was time to go home. I look at all the beautiful parks today and I see basically two kinds of events: birthday parties and scheduled games... but it's not the same. It is true that things in life change and with each new generation there are new ways in which kids operate. It could be that now is the time for every kid to be alone with their devices. Even adults are affected by the pull of having everything in one place. I do see a few older couples utilizing the many walkways here, but that is rare to see. If one watches the news, they will ultimately see stories of violence happening to people walking in parks and then it's all over. That news is on page one of their phones and that means instead of the lights coming on driving you homeward, it is the fear that something bad is going to happen to you if you do not go home now. The differences of operations within the mind have made attention spans even lower than predicted decades ago.
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Hate fizzles away into the great big nothing. Love always grows into a great big something... and love lasts forever and ever.
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History is for first timers, everything else is just history repeating. Watered down versions of popular images we see everyday, this is wha...
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The modern way is much better than the ways of yesterday. To try and emulate is fine for practice, but real and true identity results from t...
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It is our dreams that give us the strength to get out of bed in the morning. It is a change of circumstance that prevents the dreams from ha...
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There are small moments in our time that reveal the future in specific ways. Those who pay attention to the trajectory of things can see exa...
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If you are in search of something, the chances are very good that you are searching in the wrong places. One thing to remember in the social...
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The climb is not a climb at all. It is a process of learning that never comes to a close. Becomming whole, a man cannot stand being without ...
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The ancients believed in the stars and saw things in them that still exist today. The connections they made with the universe around them we...
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I wish you were here. I really really do. I know your out there somewhere and you are thinking about me. You may even be in a relationship w...
