I can remember like it was yesterday my father telling me over and over again the importance of finding a job. From an early age I was rolling the mower (my Bigwheel) through the neighborhood with a trailer my father built for me to pull the gas-can. I remember rolling that mower through the yard with the leaves crackling beneath all the heavy equipment. I remember my father standing and smiling as he toked on his Kent Golden Light shorties. He had a pop belly then just like all the other rail dad's. I swear there should be a hug your favorite railroad engineer day. I have never met one who wasn't a total pain in the ass. But when push comes to shove, you will never find a more loyal individual than someone of the railroad persuasion. All his friends are gone now and his wife, my mother, is engaged in a battle with Alzheimer's. Nobody in the family ever calls them or sends them cards in the mail with the exception of the oldest. The only thing they both did their entire lives was work and pay the bills and give each of us our own individual and cherished experience in life growing up. Times could be good and times could be bad and times could be all and everything between. I suppose most families are like that and the word "normal" cannot be applied. I told them a long time ago I would be there. I am there.

I don't think people appreciate the fact that nothing is what it seems and everything is really in the way you see it. No matter what anybody says, no two people see the world in the same way(s), no two people.As young people we break ourselves off into groups... the final testing ground and pregame, so to speak, is high school. High school breaks society down into its various social and economic parts where groups (children of community players and non players and everything in between) learn how different they really are from each other. The formulation of group identity seems to be based in the rhythmic expressions of humanhood and the development of one's own acting ability while operating within a framework of people where similar interests exist... but change with age.

My earth my beautiful earth. Way out in the middle of nowhere and everywhere at the same time. You are so small, so blue in a sea of absolute darkness. You sit alone in a trillion mile wilderness of stars and time. You are a wonder. If there is something out there, then that same something must exist here, in you my earth my beautiful earth of which I cannot escape.

As much as people try to hide their motives, more often than not, their efforts at hiding their true desires reveal to the one who pays attention all he needs to know. By and large, the higher one moves up socially or economically the more competition there is to get there. In order to make such moves, politics comes into play. It is just like my grandmother told me once: Jon she said, there is politics in everything. Looking back at her life, I saw politics in the ways in which she had to deal with grandpa. I saw her work people and charm people to make sure there was a homey type environment... the very environment that made grandpa happy and hungry. Back in the day, it was the job of the woman to have a meal prepared for her man when he arrived home from work. Grandma's motives were clear: Keep the old man happy and full so he will sleep and not be such a bitching, moaning and groaning old man. Time can teach how one might be able to see the wordings of people that exist behind the words and movements they use when speaking. It is in this arena where real and true motives live and breathe. Sometimes, if you pay attention, you can watch as people raise legitimate drama and still make time for the cursory pause and stare into the light with just a hint of a grin. What is it that truly motivates a man or woman?

Christopher Cross - Ride Like The Wind

It sometimes takes time to remember how your authentic self is the one thing that has sustained you through your various other selves and once you drop all associations with the selves that are in no way affiliated with your authentic self, then you can pick up where you dropped it off which was at the doorstep of expectation where the very nature of the beast requires the formulation and maintenance of various selves that serve one purpose, to dominate the most inner portions of the soul with feelings of accomplishment and greatness; to exceed what was expected of you. If however the joy can only be felt on a level where the authentic self is not welcomed, the imposing battle from there on in will either be recognized or not recognized... but will have an affect on the life of every self. It will especially affect the life of the authentic self... if it is known and recognized and cherished in any way. And as age takes its course, not dealing with these crosses in the road only makes the journey more fragmented,  yet I suppose a bit more interesting. It is the journey, as they say, not the found nugget at the base of the big rock at the edge of the stream.

Africa

AL STEWART "Time Passages"

Because of the blanket over the window, there is this edging of the sun in a square that is illuminating the room, nothing else. It's comfortable, slow, and very quiet on the inside. All receptors are clear and open... waiting to be filled with anything good, anything nice, anything... cool!

Baker Street

Soundgarden - Fell On Black Days [Studio Version]

You cannot exit the misty woods unscathed as the rabbits will tell you which way to go once you reach the pasture. After that, you're on your own pal! Keep your eyes on the sky and seek out formations in the land around you. Talk to the locals and find history there, in that place you find yourself. You may want to hang around a while and write something down... the long way. Once that fire starts buddy, putting it out can be a real problem.

I swear the older I get the younger my mind makes me feel. It's just the strangest thing ever!

It's No Good (2007 Remastered Version)

Enjoy The Silence (Remastered Version) (Original)

We are not robots. We must continually find ways to make ourselves better. Now, it is impossible to do this on all fronts all at once. It has to be done in stages, piece by piece, day by day. There has to be something at the end of the rainbow. There has to be something meaningful and spirited behind the effort. It's kind of like The Constitution. That is not a perfect document. It must constantly be checked, referenced, and revised. It is meaningful and serves its purpose: to be a template for the ages where Liberty can stand in all stages of what is always a battle for the republic. Outside influence will always be around to try and make it so that Liberty is lost or hard to attain. Words can and will be used as roadblocks and so on and so forth. While meeting ones goals compared to the goals of that document, it has to be clear to all of us that our journey is not guaranteed and we are not robots. We human beings need each other to live and our lives have got to mean something to ourselves. We are not robots and we are not perfect. When we set reasonable and attainable goals and we meet them, we must have prepared a new goal with a new vision attached. And all along the way, as things become more and more clear in our own personal lives, it will be much easier to listen and help guide others to their personal quiet spot where planning can take place. Where calmness can be found. Where silence is the best friend one has. We are not robots.

The search itself, whatever the search be, can be an addiction without resolution... because there are only two real resolutions for an addiction: death or making and attaining goals. One has to be willing to accept the work they have done and then move forward. There are no real set times to do such things and there are no real easy ways to make such transitions. These are just the things we humans do... the chances we take. I'm not sure this life would be interesting enough were things not so... predictable. Order really is just an illusion as there is always something left to improve. Search and then find and then move forward.

America- Tin Man (w/ lyrics)

steely dan - josie

Our history has been swept from us both on purpose and as a matter of the natural loss or inclination to care as much from one generation to another. But the digital age had made it such that a record can be found of everyone. One day, each and every person will have a display that keeps track of their every movement and every communication. Anonymity will be gone and Liberty will be gone right along with it. This new age will usher in darkness never before seen on this planet.

How much of what you/we believe is repetition, presumption, and selfishness?

Nothing is simple in this life. We all make mistakes. Some mistakes cost us for the rest of our lives. However, if during our time here we can find one thing we love doing more than anything else, and we do that more often, we can actually find oneness with the universe before we rejoin the universe on our frequency in the stars.

Firefall - Strange Way

Steely Dan - Peg

It is no measure of success to be well adapted to a society that emphasizes the will of the individual over the fundamental essence of the population. The collective cannot function with all the benefits of being part of that collective if those on top continuously make it such that upward mobility becomes almost impossible for the individual with a new pair of shoes. Once that part of the dream becomes too much to bear, there is nothing left for those looking to gain in this life because the mountain is too steep to climb.