Thursday, November 29, 2018
I wish I knew the meaning of all this ridiculousness we call life. None of us chose to be here and nobody knows the reason(s) why we are here. The way I see it and from what I understand, I was conceived in late February during a drunken night between two horny people in the year of our lord... 1969. After 2 MA's with one in Sociology both minoring in philosophy (The Greeks really piss me off!), neither I nor anybody else I have ever read or talked with about it has the answer(s) either. Historically, people look to religion, but that only brings blood, lies, and wars. So far, the area of sociology/philosophy comes closest for me. They are one in the same really with psychology walking right beside them both. I got into sociology because I needed to find out if what I was seeing made me crazy. Turns out, the people who began the study of people, their patterns, and processes (groups) were in fact certifiable. But this holds true for anybody at the cusp of something new. It seems we are all very much products of the social system in which we know from a very young age. We are the products of every word and situation at home growing up and every word and situation as we age. We are in constant flux. There are those who really believe, for example, in the sanctity of marriage and consider it a vital aspect of their lives. There are those who see life as more of an adventure to be taken, always on the move looking to conquer new heights and set new goals. Among us still are those who wonder and wander in a seemingly endless pattern of the same shit every day. Among these people are some of the most dedicated, hard working people on the planet. In each individual case, in every instance, when confronted with the big question over a beer after work or speaking softly at the library about it shooting texts with the seriousness of all that is everything, each answer will fall into agreeable categories. Rarely will there be something unheard of or just awe-inspiring. It always comes back to religion no different from the ancients. This suggests, in measurable instances (one could say) that we as a species have quite a long ways to go. I know what I believe. I believe all life and death as we know it is part of a larger system far and away beyond what we are capable of seeing, knowing, or understanding. The fact is that we live on a super small planet for an average of 75 years should make everybody wonder. The fact that we occupy the only part of space capable of harboring life should scare the shit from everybody!
Tuesday, November 27, 2018
You often hear about how the professors at the local college can be kind of strange... whether they be male or female. I am reminded of the professor from the movie "Animal House" played by Donald Sutherland. Needless to say he was just about right as far as real and true layed-back profs go. He would be classified as a realist, yet in it because he knows it so well and the money is good. However, many professors go off the deep end because of the things they have learned or are currently learning about that has brought them great disappointment. Many act in solitude because sometimes the things they find out are shocking requiring a bottle or two of wine. rarely will they speak in private about these things. Rarely will they speak at all about these things.
Sunday, November 25, 2018
Unless they are living their personal dream and telling you all about their personal adventures and how they themselves alone turned themselves alone into a "success story" all alone with no outside help from anybody but their own hand and sweat, then they are leaving a few things out. Nobody does anything alone. You can be completely broke and out of touch alone. You can be a total drunk alone. You can be in a relationship alone. But nobody does anything or becomes anything... alone. The issue is that people either grow apart or hang on to something that was never really there to begin with.
A Beautiful Word
I really enjoyed Calligraphy class in high school. I practice my handwriting not as often as I should. I swear nothing could possibly be more personal these days than to receive a hand-written letter from someone who cares about you. Something like:
Dear Samantha,
It's been too long since we have talked. It has ached me for years. Nothing in this world seems colorful enough in my life because you are nowhere around. Where there once was an openness in me has now become closed off and void.
... I am afraid however that hand-written letters are becoming less and less of an occurrence. When I was finishing college in 2012 there was nobody taking noted by hand like i was doing. I was doing it the hard, long way. I rarely read the books because I needed the money for other things like rent and bongs (lol, kidding). I wrote and continue to write in these little books by hand. I do it mostly because I think it's fun to feel the flow of a beautifully written word... a beautifully written word.
Dear Samantha,
It's been too long since we have talked. It has ached me for years. Nothing in this world seems colorful enough in my life because you are nowhere around. Where there once was an openness in me has now become closed off and void.
... I am afraid however that hand-written letters are becoming less and less of an occurrence. When I was finishing college in 2012 there was nobody taking noted by hand like i was doing. I was doing it the hard, long way. I rarely read the books because I needed the money for other things like rent and bongs (lol, kidding). I wrote and continue to write in these little books by hand. I do it mostly because I think it's fun to feel the flow of a beautifully written word... a beautifully written word.
Saturday, November 24, 2018
Never be what you despise for money. I tried being a salesman... and was quite good at it. But there was something about it that made me feel cheap, petty, and odorous. In order for me to maximize my efforts toward more cash, I had to sell inferior products we bought at nothing. If I sold the good stuff, the place and myself couldn't make anything. I had to use half truths and full lies every day at work and then every night after work it would be beers and more beers and sex and beers and more sex. It was a vicious cycle and it threw me astray into the abyss chilling over at Satan's house (negative influences, people with dark vibes). I never liked salesman simply because I know going in they are completely full of shit... but I know they have to make a living and somebody has to pay for their drinks so....
Friday, November 23, 2018
Wednesday, November 21, 2018
Tuesday, November 20, 2018
Friday, November 16, 2018
I do not think that it is necessarily a bad thing to lose ones mind on occasion. So long as nobody gets hurt and no property gets damaged or stolen, losing ones mind can be quite exhilarating. It is certainly nothing to be ashamed of. But real and true episodes of this "tamed madness" cannot be relevant if it happens out of habit. Genuine episodes of madness come not in patterns, but spaces in time where there is too much of nothing surrounded by too much of everything else.
Wednesday, November 14, 2018
Some people are not designed to be around a lot of people at any one time. If it does happen, it is by chance only. I am one of those people who love anonymity. I can watch everything on the street in the social world and nobody knows. I think we all do this to a certain extent. I think we all watch one another. I think we all have that "what am I going to look like and sound like in their eyes mentality," so to speak. The job is where much of this type of acting takes place. But a night on the town is about the same thing as we all worry and wonder how we are doing in their eyes while we perpetrate our stories and semi-crimes.
Tuesday, November 13, 2018
There is not just one devil, but many devils among us. But there will come a day when the main character on the world stage will in fact be the great deceiver, the actual one who will go down in history as humanities greatest destroyer. Those around him will assist in making this happen and they will do so willingly. There will be many who line up beside him.
Monday, November 12, 2018
Saturday, November 10, 2018
It is impossible to draw real and true reason from politics when the only information one is gathering comes from a single news channel or even a number of them. If people are interested in the ways of the political world, one needs to follow the money and influence as they are one in the same. In this society money is God!
Friday, November 9, 2018
Eliminate the lies and drama from your life. If the people around you bring you dismay, make it so you no longer have to be around them. They will understand unless they are getting off making your life more dramatic than it should be. The power is in you... to be filled with gratefulness, not drama and petty bullshit!
Thursday, November 8, 2018
One goal makes another goal possible. If the goals are reasonable and doable, then the ultimate goal can be reached. If you can reach your goals without compromising any values you hold to be true, then you will one day be more secure in everything you do... and the people around you will be genuine.
Wednesday, November 7, 2018
Sometimes, the very best form of therapy (if one chooses to call it that...) is someone who is willing to listen to what you have to say. If they can take it a step further and hear the words you are using and the ways in which you are using them... when you are ready for a response, it will be worth hearing. In a situation where someone is giving you their time, it is very much a part of it all that you listen to the response. Otherwise, it has all been for nothing. This can be done casually in an open setting with or without people around or it can be done in private over a scotch rocks and a pack of reds. We all need ally's in life and there are simply too few people in the world who are willing and capable of being a good and proper listener/responder. If you find one, cherish him/her as their value is without a price.
Tuesday, November 6, 2018
The sooner we make friends with our demons, the better off we will all be. By friends I mean they need to be acknowledged and dealt with on an individual basis. For example, I lived with with two women for a time in the 90's. One was hefty, shall we say, while the other was either at her job or jogging her dog before bed. I mean to tell you, this woman ran her dog every day after work and after that she went right to sleep to get to her job early. One day i caught her taking a swig of juice from the fridge and asked, "Do you ever just stop and rest?" She told me that if she ever stopped and thought her depression would get the best of her. She had the idea that if she just stayed busy her demons, in this case depression (among other things), would leave her alone. We parted after she moved away with some guy. My demons are many and for the longest time I not only fed them, but i ran with them straight into the abyss... and a little bit further. They still have their ways with me, but none of those ways include alcohol. They have other ways by which I can hate myself.
Monday, November 5, 2018
Sunday, November 4, 2018
Saturday, November 3, 2018
Machines keep calling the phone. I called a machine to fix the problem i am having with machines. Needless to say, I'm waiting for a machine to call me back... you know what man, fuck this shitski! Politics sucks and the whole thing is rigged to high Heaven. Lawyers and bankers run the show. Politics is the argument between them. By the time it gets to fox or CNN, they sprinkle it all with fairy dust and turn the whole thing into a soap opera with them as key players. It a fucking circus at the public level. Game shows, news pundits... it's no wonder we all don't wear capes to work and call ourselves Billy! out-loud every-time we enter a building.
Thursday, November 1, 2018
And each one of the members of the town, regardless of their social standing or self-importance, were placed in a box and then lowered into the ground we walk on today. People generations ago were lowered into the ground and each one of them were marked in someway as having been real and true. They may have been part of a beautiful Cemetery that was once taken care of by caring people. But as time has flown by that same place may no longer exist as even the markers themselves may have been absorbed by the environment on top and below. All this happens, generation after generation... on a speck of dust floating... in a sunbeam.
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Hate fizzles away into the great big nothing. Love always grows into a great big something... and love lasts forever and ever.
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History is for first timers, everything else is just history repeating. Watered down versions of popular images we see everyday, this is wha...
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The modern way is much better than the ways of yesterday. To try and emulate is fine for practice, but real and true identity results from t...
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It is our dreams that give us the strength to get out of bed in the morning. It is a change of circumstance that prevents the dreams from ha...
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There are small moments in our time that reveal the future in specific ways. Those who pay attention to the trajectory of things can see exa...
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If you are in search of something, the chances are very good that you are searching in the wrong places. One thing to remember in the social...
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The climb is not a climb at all. It is a process of learning that never comes to a close. Becomming whole, a man cannot stand being without ...
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The ancients believed in the stars and saw things in them that still exist today. The connections they made with the universe around them we...
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I wish you were here. I really really do. I know your out there somewhere and you are thinking about me. You may even be in a relationship w...
