death in the middle

By night they seek you out and when they find you they watch everything you do. All your calls, all your meetings, all the media and books you like; everything you do and everyone you come in contact with is logged down in a data base by stinky people with no sense of humor and no concept of what it takes to not be stagnant. Restraint is there field and it is through restraint the human capsule seeks outlets to plug in to. This is what we do as people. In order to be in that game you have to lie; which is exactly what the adults tell their children not to do. That in and of itself is a lie. Think about that shit!
Once you are known, stamped, and approved, you can begin the marginal life; the one you replaced your hopes and your dreams with; as if you will ever get another chance. Nope, once you cross the line of moving into the world of lies you better lie yourself and be damn good at it or you will always be in the middle, and the middle sucks dog balls!
They are the ones who get paid to be what we are told not to be.

nada on the regrets

I read something recently about how it is better to be sensable about your decisions as you make them in order to avoid regret. That makes about as much sense as building a house with eggo waffles. There is no way on Earth anyone can ever live on this planet w/out regret. By that same token I would argue that proceeding in life in that way creates regrets simply because you are acting on the idea that life is supposed to be ordered and predictable when in fact a human life is filled with decisions centered in the idea of regret avoidance while making regretful decisions. To live your life avoiding anything for reasons that are thought about and concluded upon after deliberation is a complete waist of mind time and I am not interested in avoiding shit. I am interested in experiencing and then going with that. Regrets, yes, there are many; but I would never change my past because regret is all I have and it is something we all share. The fun memories are always regretful later anyway because of all the fun you had during those magical copulations in science.

real life

There are many who do not trust banks. For that reason they prefer cash. My grandfather was this way as I am sure many from his generation were. My father tried to be that way until mom found his hidden shoe box in the closet. All that bithin and moanin for years about money this and money that and the whole time he was hoarding money as if he were shelling payoffs to crooked members of the city council or hotel rooms to meet women for anonymous sex; paper trails are unacceptable. These are things they do not teach in school and this is reality. If you do not like it, pray more!

that sadness, that negativity.

Remember when you were a kid and you viewed the world as a complete waist of time filled with older people who were bitter and stupid? Remember when you looked at your entire community and saw tarnished innocence corrupted not by themselves but by the order of things; the heirarchy of political power within the larger frame? Imagine for one moment yourself "growing up" to that place, accepting that place; the very same place you once loathed but now make excuses for as you climb the heirarchal ranks of social order and credit. Are you in it? Do you like your grown up spot? How does it feel really to have abandoned your dreams while making excuses to the number one most important thing in your life, YOU! Never shit on people who have not abandoned their dreams like you have, if you have. The past is gone and there are no excuses for that sadness, that negativity. 98.2

lifeness

In my time of discontent I see sadness in the human rhelm beyond the dress, beyond the duress, past the smiles, cries, tears and fears. I see a mechanical spiritedness merged with a flooding of standards inequitable for the most part by those who live by the lie. This merging of emptiness with the remnants of past lies and torturous sublime order makes us all empty so we may sustain the lie they weave and we perceive.
We dress for duress and our training requires that. The cries with lies on the inside and out wait for our oldness and pain to appear as it did with all those before so us, like them, can reflect on all our missed opportunities while the devil laughs directly at us. But hey, we don't believe in anything anyway and that is representative of our mechanistic ways and sound measures of contriolled discontent. 98.2

lost in the temporary.

An emotional investment is the least favorable way to enter and proceed with any relationship these days because of the unbelievable availability of options that come in multiple forms all dressed with multi-colored sprinkles made to order symbolically reserving the right to be in a tremendous state of stagnation and missed opportunity while rolling down the unending avenue of predictable stormy weather. 98.2

dumbass

One of the most endearing qualities we humans possess is our inate ability to actually believe our own bullshit. We can talk our way through just about any crisis of self and make it good again somehow by falling directly back into the bucket of molasses so we can struggle only to do it all again. This cyclical behavior is what makes us all fucking stupid. 98.2