separation of sameness

There are so many fascinating things in this world and they are all right outside our doors. It's not just the people and things, it's the feelings and almost spacial reciprocity that binds us all apart. This separation of sameness allows us to grow without the cool running water that is always available to us when we need it. We should be bathing in it everyday as if it were air. It should be as natural a function to bath in those waters as it is for us to feel discontented everyday whether it be our jobs, our families, or our lives in general. You see, there is no key to our places and our spots inside those places because they are ours alone. To become fully content is the same as being fully dead inside with no vision for the future other than the inevitable demise we all must ponder.
If it is new they say, it will take some getting used to. Once we stop saying that shit maybe we can finally bind ourselves up inside and around and all over this whole fucking planet man and make a really cool difference in people's lives. Once we abandon those little chicken shit sayings thought of years ago when times really sucked. Once we become socialized to new ideas and perspectives and stop counting on what we learned as kids, then maybe, just maybe we can finally arrive at the same conclusion in all our disillusions. LLc 98.2

We're all afraid of the same things, some of us just choose to hide those fears differently. But beyond our facades and presentations we reveal the real truth about how we feel not only about our life position, but also about the mistakes we have made along the way. For most of us the mistakes have been many. Through it all though we manage to still come up with the same fears that have plagued us from the beginning.
Yes our childhood is all around who we are now. What we have done to this point or that point in our adulthood can be traced back to our childhood expectations; not in so much of an occupational bucket but in more of an attitudinal sphere. Those who have managed to maintain the same enthusiasm for life as they did in childhood are either presumed crazy and successful or just plain crazy. Either way, a win is a win baby. There is no need to run from fear because fear is a good thing, a human thing, a normal thing. I just wish there was not so much of it. Maybe in time we will find a way to display the kind of enthusiasm we had when we were kids.

satelite of D

It is not possible to paint a picture and place yourself in it. The colors never match and the paint is always wet and moving. The pleasure of the piece gets taken away by wear as the colors get sucked from their original source; the negative energy; the satelite of destruction always becomes the primary. The picture must be painted in such a way as to encompass sweat and tears with years and years of trial and error. This cannot be done with any real success other than simple time and realization mixed with the knowledge that we are destined to be exactly and precisely either a success in the social context or a success in the private context. There is no both. What is success anyway? Who decides? I saw a beautiful woman working at a department store. She was altered by a disease. She was shy about it. She need not be around me, I have good satelites anyone can see. My picture is ongoing yet sporadic. There can be no other way.

the temporary state

Whenever possible, one should witness an individual who acts in the world free from the bindings of the world and does so without this knowledge himself. See how he functions in his world and see how that style relates to the social world. Next, ask yourself how important it is to function in the social world and is it necessary to be conscious of it in order to function in it. An individual who has sense can function anywhere. That is not the issue. The issue is not that of functionality. What is at issue here is appearance versus reality and the distance between the two. The subject matter lies in the gap between what is real and true and what is false, acted, and plastic.
Witness an individual who seeks no fortune or form of manipulation. You will not see this man because he will be in the dark corners at night in the mini-malls starving and freezing. He lives among us all. For some of us, we see these people and wonder what it would be like to be free; even though that is not free. They are free in that they are no longer so accepting of having to do the type of work anybody can do making the type of money a monkey could make. For still others of us there is a feeling of disconnection with the social world and all its actors. For these people who sit high atop the fence, there is no need to hustle and bustle to work when work holds no real social value with no real opportunities for social mobility. Being broke is real and true, buying shit you don't need for any other reason than to look good is not. The only relationship between the two is that they are both temporary.

deduction

I think about the songs that have given me great pleasure over the years. I think about them when I am high and I think about them when I am low. There is a song for every occasion and that is as it should be. Music has allowed us to forgive ourselves and make us realize and remember that we are all temporary. There is a need for creativity through music because it does draw upon the nicest of dreams as well as the funkiest of desires. Good music takes raw emotion and puts a beat to it so we can rhythmically remind ourselves that there is pleasure in life and it often comes in bundles like presents or wood. Even when there is no noise, no music, and no real desire to hear anything, there will always be room for at least one song to calm our nerves and drive our senses. By the same token, songs bring about the dark side of our lives which can envelop us just as easily as anything. Even here there is value in song because from here real emotions are free to play on us. This is the struggle we are faced with: the sanctity of dreams and the loss of them simultaneously.

i'm tired

I was in the grocery store earlier today and knew right away there was going to be a problem. As I arrived at the front approx. fifty feet away from the front door I noticed a slow moving couple, well dressed and strutting, just ahead of me and coming from the west. Well, I could not be rude and run just to get in front of them. I had to remain calm and allow them to enter the store as the dynamic couple they obviously were. I knew that no matter where I went once I got in the store that this couple was going to be in front of me taking up the entire fucking aisle. Well, sure enough, as I rounded around the first corner there they were checking out the chips; as if she needed them. I abandoned the notion of chip retrieval and moved on to the frozen foods at the back of the store. I needed some cool whip anyway. I rounded the very back corner of the store, cool whip in hand, and boom there they were getting some ice cream taking up the entire aisle. Well, I had to get some soda and cookies and I knew I had to haul ass. So i quickly grabbed a two-litre bottle, the cookies, a loaf of bread, and a pack of smokes. The lines were long so I went ahead and left the line for the residual check out at the front of the store and yes indeedy there they were holding up the entire fucking universe with a question about some pies and shit. All I wanted to do really was get some soda and cookies, and now I am in a struggle for my very sanity. I had visions of every horrible thing imaginable to happen to this couple. They just seemed like space takers who were looking to make their presence know throughout the world. By this time I had spent far too long in the store dealing with these two to just quit now. I was in it for the long haul baby. I was now watching the clock. i'm tired.

slow moving

Gypsies created this country. If you don't think so, you better read somewhere the truth. Imagine for a moment that you hate where you live. You then get on a boat and bare the ocean currents for days on end with bad food and no waste management. You arrive in a whole new place and then proceed to find new and interesting ways to kill the locals because you are right and they are wrong. If that is not an example of what can happen when panic, humanity, greed, or whatever you want to call it; gypsy revolution, whatever, then I don't know what is. The point is that every new thing is sloppy and difficult to bear. When we see gypsies these days we see people who look just like us and have a value system that may be better than ours, but they don't hurt anyone. They just have a different way of doing things.
There are no more territories to conquer. There are no more people to massacre. The only thing we have now is people who deliver a different perspective and act upon it. Gypsies move around a lot because staying in one place for very long means to indulge in the friction that social life inevitably brings. The gypsy does not run from life, the gypsy indulges in it free from the poison that permeates everything. They experience where others talk about. They have knowledge where others read about. The gypsy is the last real American. The rest of us, well, we are part of the systematic destruction of anything new.