good v bad by design

I guess we all want to be bad; if for nothing else but to try it out and see what comes from it. Many who choose one form of bad or the other eventually find their time is short and all the badness they have done amounts to nothing. In the grand scheme of things there is no difference between what is bad and what is good. In the adult world, what is considered bad is often blurry just like any act that is considered good. Those who choose to live the good life and play by the rules will surely be compensated in the other life. These people choose faith over opulence yet they are separated not by this faith, but by their willingness to live inside the safety and comfort of their own personal bubble which is separate from what is happening in the real world.
Badness has many flavors and justifications, goodness does as well. There is no all good and there is no all bad. There is only our short time here to develop strategies for coping in an often unbalanced life filled with anger and hostility. Being bad has merit because there can be no good without it. The Utopian society can never exist because of this dichotomy, especially within our social frame now. In order to become whole on the inside and out we need to explore and never be content. If that means being bad, so be it. If that means being good and looking good in the eyes of other people, then so be that. The good life is not measured by social networks or expectations of any kind; those things belong to the facade we take on to hide our true desire to be who we are and what we are. Many times what we see and believe in others is completely false. Other times what we see is what we get. In either case, what we see could be perceived to be bad, but in actuality that perception may be based not on the truth of the matter or person, but on the facade that has been designed and layed out over years and years of practice and design. LLc 98.2

everyday in everyway

These days it's hard to tell if were coming or going. Five O clock rolls around and boom were off to the fucking races on our way home to booze, drugs of some kind, food in mass quantities, or some other fucking thing; TV or some shit! Needless to say it is killing us and were doing it in jobs we hate for shit dog money, all so we can afford to buy more shit we can;t afford and probably shouldn't have in the first place. But this is our nature. It is our nature to be morons. Look where we came from in comparison to where we are now. We have gone from rock chippers to reflector wearing speckles with wheels on our shoes. We have more bad movies than ever before since Hollywood's inception and still people flock in droves to the flickers to see the same actors making asses of themselves. I went to the grocery store and once again fell victim to the magazine spreads with Jennifer and Brad and Angela and actually felt bad for these people. Look at what they do for a living. Get over yourself, all the quality actors are dead! But then again, the social world is full of actors. So I guess in that regard those who waist their money on movies might be better off just paying attention to the free entertainment that comes with the everyday in every way.

separation of sameness

There are so many fascinating things in this world and they are all right outside our doors. It's not just the people and things, it's the feelings and almost spacial reciprocity that binds us all apart. This separation of sameness allows us to grow without the cool running water that is always available to us when we need it. We should be bathing in it everyday as if it were air. It should be as natural a function to bath in those waters as it is for us to feel discontented everyday whether it be our jobs, our families, or our lives in general. You see, there is no key to our places and our spots inside those places because they are ours alone. To become fully content is the same as being fully dead inside with no vision for the future other than the inevitable demise we all must ponder.
If it is new they say, it will take some getting used to. Once we stop saying that shit maybe we can finally bind ourselves up inside and around and all over this whole fucking planet man and make a really cool difference in people's lives. Once we abandon those little chicken shit sayings thought of years ago when times really sucked. Once we become socialized to new ideas and perspectives and stop counting on what we learned as kids, then maybe, just maybe we can finally arrive at the same conclusion in all our disillusions. LLc 98.2

We're all afraid of the same things, some of us just choose to hide those fears differently. But beyond our facades and presentations we reveal the real truth about how we feel not only about our life position, but also about the mistakes we have made along the way. For most of us the mistakes have been many. Through it all though we manage to still come up with the same fears that have plagued us from the beginning.
Yes our childhood is all around who we are now. What we have done to this point or that point in our adulthood can be traced back to our childhood expectations; not in so much of an occupational bucket but in more of an attitudinal sphere. Those who have managed to maintain the same enthusiasm for life as they did in childhood are either presumed crazy and successful or just plain crazy. Either way, a win is a win baby. There is no need to run from fear because fear is a good thing, a human thing, a normal thing. I just wish there was not so much of it. Maybe in time we will find a way to display the kind of enthusiasm we had when we were kids.

satelite of D

It is not possible to paint a picture and place yourself in it. The colors never match and the paint is always wet and moving. The pleasure of the piece gets taken away by wear as the colors get sucked from their original source; the negative energy; the satelite of destruction always becomes the primary. The picture must be painted in such a way as to encompass sweat and tears with years and years of trial and error. This cannot be done with any real success other than simple time and realization mixed with the knowledge that we are destined to be exactly and precisely either a success in the social context or a success in the private context. There is no both. What is success anyway? Who decides? I saw a beautiful woman working at a department store. She was altered by a disease. She was shy about it. She need not be around me, I have good satelites anyone can see. My picture is ongoing yet sporadic. There can be no other way.

the temporary state

Whenever possible, one should witness an individual who acts in the world free from the bindings of the world and does so without this knowledge himself. See how he functions in his world and see how that style relates to the social world. Next, ask yourself how important it is to function in the social world and is it necessary to be conscious of it in order to function in it. An individual who has sense can function anywhere. That is not the issue. The issue is not that of functionality. What is at issue here is appearance versus reality and the distance between the two. The subject matter lies in the gap between what is real and true and what is false, acted, and plastic.
Witness an individual who seeks no fortune or form of manipulation. You will not see this man because he will be in the dark corners at night in the mini-malls starving and freezing. He lives among us all. For some of us, we see these people and wonder what it would be like to be free; even though that is not free. They are free in that they are no longer so accepting of having to do the type of work anybody can do making the type of money a monkey could make. For still others of us there is a feeling of disconnection with the social world and all its actors. For these people who sit high atop the fence, there is no need to hustle and bustle to work when work holds no real social value with no real opportunities for social mobility. Being broke is real and true, buying shit you don't need for any other reason than to look good is not. The only relationship between the two is that they are both temporary.

deduction

I think about the songs that have given me great pleasure over the years. I think about them when I am high and I think about them when I am low. There is a song for every occasion and that is as it should be. Music has allowed us to forgive ourselves and make us realize and remember that we are all temporary. There is a need for creativity through music because it does draw upon the nicest of dreams as well as the funkiest of desires. Good music takes raw emotion and puts a beat to it so we can rhythmically remind ourselves that there is pleasure in life and it often comes in bundles like presents or wood. Even when there is no noise, no music, and no real desire to hear anything, there will always be room for at least one song to calm our nerves and drive our senses. By the same token, songs bring about the dark side of our lives which can envelop us just as easily as anything. Even here there is value in song because from here real emotions are free to play on us. This is the struggle we are faced with: the sanctity of dreams and the loss of them simultaneously.