interesting

Not too long ago a book was found in an abandoned house. It was tucked away inside an old chest found in a hallway that looked better than it should have considering its obvious age. It was elegantly dressed with fine cloth and not a nick on the entire piece. It was magnificly stained in red as if it was mixed with the blood of a man passionately involved in his craft. Inside was an envelop containing various letters and cards that were as elegantly preserved as the vessel itself. One note in particular, scratched on a small scrap of paper struck me as I rummaged through all the wordings like a hungry rat. It was a short note that made me understand more fully what it means to feel strongly about another person. It read something like:

I was laying in bed all night last night with a heavy load upon my eye lids that squeezed tears down my face thinking about you and how much I miss you being next to me. I layed awake all night with a heavy heart keeping me way down at the bottom of a deep dark place filled with memories of what it was like to be alone. Since you came into my life, I have been a better man than I was before. I wish I had more time on this day to tell you more about my love for you but we are leaving early. I am broken inside but knowing you are there makes me feel strong enough to bear the burden and meet the task. Through you I constantly remind myself of the goodness in people. You are the best example a man could have. Missing you, your friend Michael.

I just thought I would share this. Later! LLc 98.2

I wonder how many good and decent men and women have been lost to history due to the color of their skin. I wonder how many men and women stole from these good people and called whatever they took they're own. Ideas and philosophies have been lost and cheated upon by the stigma of racist beliefs. From this fact, we all have lost ground in the grand scheme of our inevitable march. There is a solution however, and it lies in the research process. By digging and digging into the past lives of forgotten people we can better learn the truth about things that occurred which have layed the framework for our lives now. From this information gathering we can allow the past lives of men and women to shine so we can bring them alive again in the minds eye. From there we can allow the past to truthfully infiltrate our lives to make a positive contribution to all those who should do the same in the future. This is learning, this is fair, and this is life.

T

Timing and fate are two things that drive the world. Decisions are then made based on these things, whatever they may be. Control, that is for children. If control is what you seek, then you will surely be disappointed in the outcome. There are simply too many variables in the world to have any form of control. Laws try to control, but those who make the laws break the laws. Do they all break them? Yes, in one way or the other, they all do. In reality, our social world is fabricated on decisions and laws made after the fact. It is juvenile to think that laws will prevent anything. We all speed, most of us have drank and drove a vehicle, some people have done a significant amount of drugs; other people have found food, gambling, sex, alcohol (America's number one thing), and many other types of temporary bandaids to get them through. The bottom line is that timing and fate are all we have and these two things occur everyday. But we often restrain ourselves due to inner social pressure until the one day when we say fuck it and actually begin to live free to make mistake after mistake. Not because we want to, but because that is what is required when fate and timing are in play during any given situation or investigation

good v bad by design

I guess we all want to be bad; if for nothing else but to try it out and see what comes from it. Many who choose one form of bad or the other eventually find their time is short and all the badness they have done amounts to nothing. In the grand scheme of things there is no difference between what is bad and what is good. In the adult world, what is considered bad is often blurry just like any act that is considered good. Those who choose to live the good life and play by the rules will surely be compensated in the other life. These people choose faith over opulence yet they are separated not by this faith, but by their willingness to live inside the safety and comfort of their own personal bubble which is separate from what is happening in the real world.
Badness has many flavors and justifications, goodness does as well. There is no all good and there is no all bad. There is only our short time here to develop strategies for coping in an often unbalanced life filled with anger and hostility. Being bad has merit because there can be no good without it. The Utopian society can never exist because of this dichotomy, especially within our social frame now. In order to become whole on the inside and out we need to explore and never be content. If that means being bad, so be it. If that means being good and looking good in the eyes of other people, then so be that. The good life is not measured by social networks or expectations of any kind; those things belong to the facade we take on to hide our true desire to be who we are and what we are. Many times what we see and believe in others is completely false. Other times what we see is what we get. In either case, what we see could be perceived to be bad, but in actuality that perception may be based not on the truth of the matter or person, but on the facade that has been designed and layed out over years and years of practice and design. LLc 98.2

everyday in everyway

These days it's hard to tell if were coming or going. Five O clock rolls around and boom were off to the fucking races on our way home to booze, drugs of some kind, food in mass quantities, or some other fucking thing; TV or some shit! Needless to say it is killing us and were doing it in jobs we hate for shit dog money, all so we can afford to buy more shit we can;t afford and probably shouldn't have in the first place. But this is our nature. It is our nature to be morons. Look where we came from in comparison to where we are now. We have gone from rock chippers to reflector wearing speckles with wheels on our shoes. We have more bad movies than ever before since Hollywood's inception and still people flock in droves to the flickers to see the same actors making asses of themselves. I went to the grocery store and once again fell victim to the magazine spreads with Jennifer and Brad and Angela and actually felt bad for these people. Look at what they do for a living. Get over yourself, all the quality actors are dead! But then again, the social world is full of actors. So I guess in that regard those who waist their money on movies might be better off just paying attention to the free entertainment that comes with the everyday in every way.

separation of sameness

There are so many fascinating things in this world and they are all right outside our doors. It's not just the people and things, it's the feelings and almost spacial reciprocity that binds us all apart. This separation of sameness allows us to grow without the cool running water that is always available to us when we need it. We should be bathing in it everyday as if it were air. It should be as natural a function to bath in those waters as it is for us to feel discontented everyday whether it be our jobs, our families, or our lives in general. You see, there is no key to our places and our spots inside those places because they are ours alone. To become fully content is the same as being fully dead inside with no vision for the future other than the inevitable demise we all must ponder.
If it is new they say, it will take some getting used to. Once we stop saying that shit maybe we can finally bind ourselves up inside and around and all over this whole fucking planet man and make a really cool difference in people's lives. Once we abandon those little chicken shit sayings thought of years ago when times really sucked. Once we become socialized to new ideas and perspectives and stop counting on what we learned as kids, then maybe, just maybe we can finally arrive at the same conclusion in all our disillusions. LLc 98.2

We're all afraid of the same things, some of us just choose to hide those fears differently. But beyond our facades and presentations we reveal the real truth about how we feel not only about our life position, but also about the mistakes we have made along the way. For most of us the mistakes have been many. Through it all though we manage to still come up with the same fears that have plagued us from the beginning.
Yes our childhood is all around who we are now. What we have done to this point or that point in our adulthood can be traced back to our childhood expectations; not in so much of an occupational bucket but in more of an attitudinal sphere. Those who have managed to maintain the same enthusiasm for life as they did in childhood are either presumed crazy and successful or just plain crazy. Either way, a win is a win baby. There is no need to run from fear because fear is a good thing, a human thing, a normal thing. I just wish there was not so much of it. Maybe in time we will find a way to display the kind of enthusiasm we had when we were kids.