Saturday, September 29, 2018
One never truly gets over a loss. It seems the more we try to bury it or compartmentalize it, the more we get reminded of them or even sometimes feel their presence, real or not. As far as I am concerned, if it's real for you that is good enough for me. No need to get clinical and cynical. This world assassinates who we are relatively early in our lives. No matter which way we go... it's all the same.
Time
When you lose someone there is no real closure. As we get older, we understand that more and more. The more one loves, the more one loses. But who can be helped if they are in love with everything?
It is difficult to bring up the subject of depression with just any friend or acquaintance... or cab driver. The response is often the same in that they minimize you before you have the chance to expose yourself in ways not meant for the un-trusted. These days, it is difficult to even find a shrink to do anything but prescribe pills. I would imagine it is part of their job. In the meantime, at least for me, pills have never been good enough and I don't trust them. It makes me think I would be better off just to start drinking beer again and say to hell with it. I'd be dead in less than 5 years. So, the days pass and nothing changes in my head as the races begin every night, all night, sometime between 12 and 1 in the morning and they run through to mid-morning. I guess if you are born with blinders covering your eyes, you start thinking pretty early in terms of shadows and darkness being normal, everyday fun.
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