once

Once you get past the "Look at me and how good I am doing" stage in life, you realize just how short a distance you have traveled. There is a vision of self doing things and being things, changing places and creating even more things all of which are simply magnificent and completely honest. It is through honest accomplishment, in whatever capacity, that people receive their purpose. This cannot be done with an end in mind. The result should never be predicted. If you know the outcome of something, then the purpose and experiences in acquiring that outcome are mechanical and inhuman; of design and not passionate creation and therefor of no meaning but to preserve an empty vessel for dreams to never be.

conscious

People are always conscious of themselves and the state they are in at any one time. The first thing we say to ourselves in the morning is, "I feel like this or that!" It effects the way in which our ideas are drawn up and has daily influence on our life choices and circumstances we currently find ourselves in. It is our mood that determines our day. So now what? I say be conscious of how people see you, just don't let them be in charge of your heart and soul. Once you give that up, once you sustain an existence far removed from your natural ways for any length of time, you may forget exactly what it is that makes you smile and laugh and feel good about yourself- in a meaningful way. Once you find again that joy, that youth, that vigor, that vitality, that you inside, the one that likes to hide, you may find a whole new you. Then again, you may be just fine the way you are and finally find that change is bad.
I see people everyday walking by glass; windows, doors, etc. I see them glance at their reflection to make sure their presentation is in place. I see the people who walk by the glass making a conscious effort to not look because this morning they said to themselves," I feel good enough to not have to check myself because I know I look good!" Oh it is just the funniest thing. Maybe these people found a new guru or mate that has given them the confidence they need to not look and see. Or maybe they are in no mood for comparisons. There we go with that whole mood thing again.

stealing grace

I was walking alone along the sidewalk as I usually do and I was thinking of things that were disturbing and repetitive. Over and over these thoughts raced around and around. I worry about a great many things in this life; but I guess we all do that. I know it is positive to be strong and I know it is expected, but there are some times I think it would be better altogether if I just made myself fly away like the owl I saw yesterday. What a marvelous sight that was. He flew up high real fast like and then swooped down and caught his dinner. It was like a flash of light it was and then my bad thoughts were replaced by better ones. All because of the owl in flight doing his thing in plain sight.

to do's

I will never deny anothers feelings. I will never become something other than myself. I will allow for bumpy roads because I have brake pads by the case load. I will not say words I do not mean. I won't behave inappropriately or make a scene-when passion is on the line I mean. I shall always be prepared for circumstances beyond my control the best I know how. I will love only one woman until I die. I will never act in silence. I will understand the difference between what is real and what can be purchased. And I will always be honest with myself which means I have a long road ahead of me because nobody is harder on me than me: We are all guilty of that. This is why when someone I care about is in pain, or hurting in some way, I feel it-I feel it all; and that really hurts me. I would much rather feel their soul being nurtured and encouraged in a positive way. This is the price some people pay for caring about certain people in this way. This is what life brings to us. This is our burden. But the joys always outweigh the hardships and the smiles make it all worth it. I just wish the lows did'nt require such heavy chains to pull me out of that familiar hole. My belly is looking like ferrots have been using it for a racetrack and my gloves are wearing thin which means I need to go back to Home Depot and get another pair. 98

people

You know what is striking about people-they all have, we all have, idiosyncratic patterns of behavior that are unavoidable, unmistakeable, and simply marvelous. I suppose this is a good thing because it is these little maneuvers through language and motion that immediately determine anothers spirit. The question is; does that spirit change over time? Is the spirit we possess inside in the process of evolving?

Some believe the spirit changes and that it has a morphing mentality. For some I believe it does. For some the spirit is a wandering one that once bound by the Earth in a particular function, changes itself in a compensatory way in order to maintain. As we get older the conflict inside grows. This is normal, and it shows.

What is striking about people is the visuals one can receive when conflict exists. These visuals are sometimes unseen and subtle, while other times they are blatant and in your eye. This depends on the spirit inside. The patterns we develop result in a mirror image of the conflict inside the morphing spirit.

Fluidity

Consistency comes through fluidity in all things, especially in matters of the heart. Once the heart is invaded, life becomes not entirely yours. This is never easy because it runs contrary to how we are taught. Experience tells us that with such endeavors come extreme highs and lows. I want to focus on the highs and experience those highs with someone special. Being alone is fine and much can get done in an alone capacity, but there are those times when a hand on my face, a kiss on my cheek, or a touch on my skin would be very nice. Sometimes I think about being alone with someone where few words need to be spoken. Through silence people meet in outstanding places where sharing is a complete experience with natural fluidity and passion so strong, periodic breaks need to be taken. That is what we all need; that and a few giggles every now and again! Imagine that, passion and giggles noodles and pickles. Sounds fun to me.

manage me

Never before has there been a time in which so much confusion has reigned all at once. I think maybe it's been this way forever; but because we have new and interesting strategies for coping with all the nonsense, we can somehow find the right buzz, through trial and error of course,to get through the production day.
The future is sub-communities. What are sub-communities? they are separate from regular communities in that they will encompass everything life has to offer under one roof. Some will be above ground and some will be below ground. Some will be both above and below ground. Each community will have owners and shareholders and each community will be responsible for the production of primary life items. Like rats people will live in levels depending on economics and type of production. There will be the Subs who prefer life underground. The mid level workers who believe in the value of a days labor. Then there will be the ruling class who will live up high in floating palaces. The year will be 2356 when these things become true.The future is the production, maintenance, and manufacturing of air. But that time is not now. Now what we have is stagnation, debt, disenfranchisement, and longing for better things. 98