I had my patience tested again today just like yesterday. Once again I had to deal with a whinny little bitch who just had to have his way. I worry about his entire generation. It is almost as if they expect certain things to just come to them. They seem to be extraordinarily selfish. If I played my hand that way when I was his age, I would to this day have no friends.

Expectation isn't something that requires much thought. It is an assumption that one or more things will happen as a result of some action that you have taken. I think we would do better in life if we decided one day not to expect anything and just be grateful for what comes our way. We may prefer for certain things to happen, but this has nothing to do with being grateful for the opportunity of things happening.

There is the reality of the day and there is the reality inside our minds. The reality of our day stated simply is where we are actually in life. It is separate from where we think we should be and it is separate from each and every dream we have. The reality inside our minds can be as majikal as we can imagine. We can feed off of media to keep our dreams inside alive. The connections we make between our reality of the day and the dreams we gather from watching various media are real. Many people prefer the dreams inside. They rely on the connections they make between shows or ads or movies to enhance their dream factory... or The Secondary Life.

We are encouraged to drop childish things once we reach a certain age. It is like the age where dreams die. Very often, people will reference the bible once they begin the process of crossing out any childhood dreams that may have been present. Parents are famous for doing such things. When you're young you can do anything. When you hit that age you work and make time for dreams later.

I don't know how I can go on when all I do is fill myself with sadness. Things are very negative for me now. I see doom and gloom in the forecast. I see people making money casting media-spells upon the masses.

I am alive today and for that I am thankful. It has been a long road of late and I could use a new perspective. So I thought about it and decided it would be best for me to focus on that which is good rather than worrying about the things that are missing in my life.

It seems like I spend most of my time waiting for something to happen. Even if I didn't initiate action, still, I expect a full reaction. I do believe this is a form of insanity. Maybe it's experience, but something tells me nothing will happen if I continue this ridiculous waiting.