I used to like dark bars in the morning time. There was one bar in particular I frequented. I enjoyed talking with the folks from the neighborhood. We all could make each other laugh for days in that place. There wasn't much to it really. It was like a shack. They served one kind of beer, warm. It was the kind of place you go to when all other options have failed... or it's right next door to your house. I look back on those days with awe and wonder.

What does it mean to be lost? It means that you are searching for something with or without your knowledge. It is nothing to be afraid of at all. To be lost is to be set free from the burdens of those things which bring you the least joy. It is a transition period filled with pleasures yet unknown. It is a time to try new things, meet new people, and possibly acquire a better understanding of self.

Human beings don't spend enough time star gazing. Looking at the stars helps us understand just how small we are. It gives us the opportunity to restructure our thoughts to include other people more often. why? Because no matter who we are as individual people, we can always find the time to improve with a more enlightened perspective. Looking at the stars allows us the opportunity to be without provocation, without pretense, without expectation. This can only help with our human relationships.

There is nothing worse than depression. Not in this life. But I have to think that there is a way out. If I stop believing that, then I am not sure there is much else I can do. I will have to live with it. While I am sure that this will not be easy, it is all I know, it's all I am used too. Oh sure I have flashes of light, but as I grow older they seem to be less and less frequent... these light flashes. I look upon them as a sort of hope for the future, that everything will be okay. Maybe I'm just lonely. I don't know.

Sometimes I feel like putting a bullet in my head. I mean, some days/weeks just plain suck! Like this week for example. Nothing I see brings me any joy whatsoever. Everything is just blaaaaah shit! I hate these moods. Little things bother me. Slow ass cars in front of me not knowing where the fuck they are and without knowledge of what we like to call "blinkers." People walking slowly in front of the car while I wait to turn left... as time just slips on by like a fuse connected to a pile of dynamite. Slow minded people taking their time in line talking to the check out guy as time just slips on by like a rock bouncing off the water forever. I am just unable to see any light in life. I am in total darkness.

Sometimes we find ourselves in a place that is not designed for us. We just feel it. We try to make the best of it, but no matter what we do we never seem to find that happy place. That happy place cannot exist if where we are has nothing to do with who we are. It's okay to be there for someone, but it is also okay to be there for yourself. I have always had a tendency to make sure those around me are happy or content with what is going on, whatever it be. And in those processes I have lost myself. I have forgotten all the things that make me happy. It takes a lot of work to find oneself again. But the rewards are very much worth the pain and agony.

we must be willing to go the extra mile when it comes to reaching our goals. There has to be some sort of a plan of action and it must be layed out over time. We must know that not all plans go as planned which is why there must be contingency plans. Both plans should have the same goal(s). even if the people along the way change or circumstances somehow change the plan must continue. It must continue because if we learn that there will be roadblocks along the way we will need the ability to bypass or go through those road blocks in meaningful ways. People should know who you are and what you are trying to do.