Saturday, December 22, 2018
Know Not I
Problems begin once you try to fit in with people and situations not meant for you. It is something one knows and yet rarely pays attention too... especially when they are young. For example, I knew when I was a kid that I was not meant for marriage or fatherhood. I therefore knew that I was never going to be operating on a level that is conducive to being those things. I was never going to have the same job for life. I was never going to need to have a savings for my family. I was never going to worry about insuring my family. I mean, I was thinking about these things when I was 7. I was only going to need the bare minimum and if I wasn't using what I had, there would be no need for it. It took me over 20 years to break away from social expectations and comparisons between myself and other people. It took two Master's degree's to help me understand what I knew when I was 7... that I didn't know anything, but I knew what I was not.
The self cannot be captured on film unless the self is unaware. Otherwise, what you have is a heightened view of "a self" coming from the self. It's like a second, more transparent layer of the self that is being revealed for the viewer. A real picture of someone's self would bring about more than just a conversation.
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