Balls!

Tranquil evenings shape the minds ability to defuse the matters of the day. It is evenings like this that bring breezes through so we can breathe again. Evenings like this make it ok to be around but not in tune with anything in particular. Perpetual state of unconsciousness while looking present is what these evenings are all about. The only present I have for anybody at this time however is a long snooze with the fan blowing keeping my pillows cool when and where they need to be. Tomorrow, golf in the morning followed directly by a nap where I will be dreaming of the one thing I am missing in life.

midnight crossing

We need to believe in this country. We need to be participants in the life experience and we need to have a cooperative opinions about how the social world operates. Those in charge of what we see and hear have accumulated great wealth and influence. In so doing, they have managed to shape our lives, all of our lives. Think about that for a minute. You are not in charge of your life. You are limited in both scope and experience in more ways than you can count and your life experience itself is not of your design. This is the reason we all need to believe in something better on the other side of the cat-box. We need to participate in the life experience because if we choose not to, we fall away into the silent rhelm of obscurity. We need to collectively believe because we are all afraid of the crossing into midnite and together we can still be all afraid. 98.2 LLC

essentials

To wake with the same desire you slept with, to sleep with the same desire you had in the afternoon, to dream of that one moment in time where the pistils sway your way and the scent lingers like shampoo in the morning, to live with the desire unattainable, to live this way, is only because they say such as life and you can't always get what you want. I believe this is true. You can't get what you want because it is a want. Want's are miniscule versions of desire and desire always includes passion and obsession. These two elements are want and for that reason, yes, you can't always get what you want. Love requires no want. It is stable standing alone and requires very little in the way of posturing because love is as natural as a morning erection.

children are the future

I sit alone in the bleachers bothering nobody. On this day I am as quiet as a theater in 1976 when, in those days, noisy people were escorted outside. These days, of course, the threat of lawsuits prevents that from happening. Some nice people sit next to me and they are not alone. They have three wonderful children. Fortunately for me these children enjoy the thrill of hitting people who like to sit quietly alone enjoying the sun rays. To make my day even brighter and more spectacular, the mom and dad thought their kids were cute as they kept hitting me, making noises, farting, spitting, yelling, and running around all over the place. What could I do? It makes me glad to be somewhat free, even though I will never be free from the noise of other people. I think the next time I go out I will just shit all over everybody and see how they like it! If you have children, put a leash on them and a muzzle if you cannot teach them how to act with a certain amount of containment. I would understand if the kids belonged to some cool British rock star with relationship issues, but man let me tell you these kids were freakin horrible to me and all I did wrong was sit quietly in the sun watching the game of life play itself through the noontime hour.

JOKE

Nobody on this planet is capable of taking a joke! Now why is that?

all together separate

I looked and saw a coming storm clear as daytime. It was going to be a bad one and there was nothing I could do to stop it. Nature was calling in a few of her chips and on this day she was in a particularly bad mood; broke and hung-over from the night before when she lost her farm to the phantom. He was present but only in her mind's eye. This is where they live and unless you make friends with them and keep them cool, you may find yourself turning into one of them and they all believe in the same thing.
The terms are very clear and if you persist, you will lose that fear inside you. With these games all you need is a lack of character and vice to be squeezed not once but twice. The friends you make will be the same and all separate with the one link that binds all of us to the secondary life as a bridge from one sense to the other, all the same.

mind traffic

The little glares and glances tell the world all your stances. The issues inside remain hidden but the scattered remains of daily conflict seep through the cracks and become available for access by anyone with the proper identification. We are the new statistic, the new form that dwells here on the inside. We have been here for quite some time and we live inside your mind. We live through the connected vines leading to your very soul scribbling away on screens time and the minds eye holding secret passions never achieved but subscribed to.

all aboard

The wagon rolls through the streets at a turtle's pace carrying letters in quantity for the masses. The live wire has replaced the wagon and now we have complete anonymity and isolation possibilities. Now we have the one thing we have always desired; living a total life inside our heads while placing little if no value on anyone but ourselves. What we are doing is regressing which always seems to happen before progress is made. Unfortunately some people will never have a chance to do what they want and for that the system makes no apologies. That simply means you have bought the lie and are forever relegated to upholding the interests of other people.

patience

We all search for some kind of balance, or perceived balance. This track we seek stabilizes the interior self while perceiving all that occurs exterior to mind, body, and soul as good. Routinization serves this purpose and acts as the rock that keeps the walls from tumbling down around us. Through the development of routine behavior we can somehow balance that which can never be balanced as a measure of control. Patience is required only for those who have a developed sense of self. Those with no patience seek that which can never be found because from that place of want comes no cake.

legitimate eyes cry

I find reason to be this way, to put you through the things I do. There is no real excuse for me and no words I write or speak will make true the accusations I bring upon you; it is my weakness you expose. You become tangled in my web of lies to myself which feeds the machine that is me. It is through fear I rationalize my unrational behavior. It is through my conclusions of my confusions I make legitimate eyes cry. I want that no longer, forever no longer!

Westinghouse, 1889 Jonah. 98.2

hamster trap

The pins fell back hard and the sound was glorious. It was the culmination of years of practice and blood. I was at that crucial point when I realized the value of working hard everyday with a goal in mind. The process was a blur. This is what happens when you are young.
The pins fall just as hard and are more precisely driven back, the sound is intensely gratifying, and the blood is of no consequence. I enjoy the day, each day, as a part of my goal attainment. This is what happens when you are older. 98

intensity strings

Wound through time and space they contain within the desires that serve to tantalize the spirit and tickle the soul. They attatch to, and cling to, multiple other strings. Once shaped, formatted, and properly sequestered, the patterns can be as diverse as the universe. They can make something beautiful and durable that is designed to last; as long as the initial idea remains the centerpiece of its very existence. The strength that comes from an equitable bond has only the limits set by the creators of the idea itself and this design is uniquely human in character and nature.

Hard

The picture disturbed me. It made me realize something we should all take into consideration the next time we treat individuals in a manner which could be seen as exclusionary. Intended or not, this type of thing is a result of the social construction of reality. The emphasis on competition requires there be winners and losers. Based on this notion then, it can be said that there can be no more a requirement for the equitable distribution of resources so that competition levels can rise thus bringing the advancement of new technologies to the forefront while incorporating more people to the structure and enabling everyone to be involved in a creation not singular but plural in nature, than access to the same. So what then? What happens when everyone has the same access? Does the value of certain things go down if everyone has access alone? The answer is no.
The picture of the Earth alone floating like the moon disturbed me. This place, is one speck in a vast darkness that we know nothing about. I mean we are of no consequence. Who the hell are we? I think we are incredibly lost and limited in our scope. I think we are temporary morsels for the Earth to engulf. From that place in our minds maybe we can better understand how not to treat people, how to better ourselves and one other person, and how to feel, as close as possible anyway, how someone else feels and try to understand the scope of the issue(s) we face as individuals together.

ink blotches in hard copy

You know what appeals to me most? I am glad you are so concerned. I enjoy the silent times free from all things on the outside.. No reminders of what exists elsewhere at all. No ties to people, things, or structure. If I could tie myself to one thing really well, then I would be happy and I would excell at what I chose to do. Why should I mold myself to the structure when I can build my own structure. No, I say no because that goes against all my training. I am a follower, I am trouble, I am you, I am structure and we are the same statistic. A blot on a page covered in the sneezes of record keepers and computer nerds who tabulate data and come up with rhetoric for future proposals to statistically improve their standing, is all we will ever be. Ink blotches in hard copy.

electric man in golden showers

Like a leaf I descend below the street to the dark place with fire on the wall and shadows standing tall mocking me. The playing cards peep through the cracks in the wall shattering my last good sense. I move slowly up the staircase and I am followed by footsteps, I look back and see the impressions on the shag carpet loosely covering the stairs. I hear a drawer slam in my room. The Jack of Clubs, the Queen of Hearts, and the Queen of Spades all whisper to me softly saying," come on baby, go ahead, were waiting for you!"
Outside I hear more whispers. They speak of me in rude and unnatural tones. They say things, disturbing things. I go outside to investigate. Nothing I can see, nothing I can hear, not a sound anyplace, nobody near. I wake to find myself in the middle of a pumpkin patch covered by a large blue tarp that flaps loudly. The sun is going down now and the sky is glowing orange with purple streaks coming from little snowcones.
I am electric. I look outside and see a man placing a paper on a car. He looks up at me with a devious smile and slowly walks down the way. Once more alone I am and once more I am satisfied. Like a leaf I am in a storm drain, like a leaf I fall from grace, Like a tree I am alive, like a man I am electric.

limitless fallability

We feel strength when things are set in patterns we can follow; there is comfort in that. When these patterns are subjected to outside entities that sway the opinions of the current inner administration, one then must do what administration requires on the outside which is to immediately DOWNSIZE, for the sake of the company itself. This altars the inner administration only if that administration is not going through changes. But as we all know, changes occur everyday in all administrations-because if they do not, they become stagnant, useless, and unable to altar their current route thereby having to rely on temporary measures for long term problems with the entire system as a whole left hostage in and of itself.

elongation

The times at night when light is scarce bring efforts from above to remind us we are never alone. The entities around serve a duel purpose: they protect, confuse, and remind you everyday how fallable you are while reminding you of your fullest and most spectacular potential patterns.

dance

When we dance we stare; we stare at the dreams we created long ago. We perpetuate the dream through movies and tv and we become less involved in the fulfillment of those dreams. In reality, maybe it is better for dreams to remain so. It is difficult to forget the dream you have been dreaming since you were a fish no matter how hard you wish.

titles

I see them walking together but separately each packing a world of dots and dashes; smooches and clashes. The world on the inside shirks lightly at all times with the occasional rumble from on high that makes one wonder why. Ink blotches and c.. stains is what titles are for.

meek

One small piece, one small place, one really big space provided by the unknown and one big fireworks show. The alternative lights can only be found only on the ground. The other things, the important things, are found in the light of slow rolling cascades of widespread human tarnish on a once gleeming landscape filled with God.

The postive frame

From false consciousness we derive pleasure in the real things as they are presented and as they are sold. From there we receive short bursts of happiness by design because we know what to expect from what we get. The idea of individuality slowly and surely washes away in a tidepool of toads fat from the swampy mess of everyday sale of self. Whores we are and whores we will always be in a world of corporate pimps who massage the stockholders with bundles and bundles of cash so they can have their golden parachutes and younger and younger wives. False consciousness means to have a value in what you are doing while at the same time thinking what you are doing is benefitting you when in reality you are not getting anything from it. What you are doing is living life for the benefit of other people who have much more juice than you do. This is why we are all whores. Advancement just means living on the second floor of the house instead of the first. You may have better shoes and more cash but you are still just a whore like the rest of us. Unless you are happy, you are growing older being unhappy and one day you will die unhappy fooling yourself the entire way through; but that is what whores do under the flag of false consciousness.

damaged

There is no possible way to get through age 30 without being damaged in some way. It happens to all of us in so many different ways sometimes it is hard to count. Over time there is a build up which can manifest itself in different ways prior to losing it altogether. We are afraid of losing it because we feel inadequate already and one good breakdown just doesn't look good in the eyes of others even though it may be necessary to lose it from time to time. There is no embarrasment in it because so long as the only one you hurt is yourself and no other. The torture we put ourselves through from time to time merits an explosion and change of scenery; a different perspective on things. Time is short for us all and most people never have the balls to make any moves. These moves should be centered around the well-being of self through the use of methodologies that resemble actual thoughts revolving around the singular notion of exactly what it is that makes you happy in the truest sense. You can be highly successful and still be a miserable individual because your life is not, nor has it ever been, yours.
People will say this and that and nobody can never know the horror you feel inside. Most of us hide the darkness; some are unable to accomplish this. In doing so, in not accomplishing I mean, there are no feelings at all inside because they get shoved away, stored if you will, for future use in tight times. Soon feelings for people vanish and the singular life becomes a solitary existence with a vivid imagination. This is what a sociopath is; without feelings and thoughts of regrets in the truest form, not the one shown as an actor. Misery is something familiar to all of us, but the sociopath is not concerned for others because this person lives without feelings at all. That makes the individual dead. WE are all damaged and there is nothing we can do about it. The most important thing to know and understand is the value of keeping your mouth shut. This way you can let it build and build until one day you realize you have been waisting your time and waisting your life. People are afraid to be happy because they are not conditioned to be so.

lies

People love to lie. We do it well and often. I love the lies we tell. I know they sell well.

We all look the same, walk the same, use the same modes of communication, like the same things, dislike the same things, look the same, feel the same, share the same likes and dislikes in movies, enjoy the same programs on tv, and we have the same desires in life which is to be difficult, demanding, egocentric, selfish, simple yet complicated, and just plain confused.
Why are there more self help books than there are books emphasizing what it means to be happy? Take what is wrong with yourself and embrace it as part of you. It will never go away. Cut a deal with yourself, for the sake of yourself. Realize you are human and you have weaknesses and strengths like everyone else.
Try and play on the dry field as much as possible but every now and then turn the sprinklers on for a few hours and then play. Difficulties come and go and we learn to play the game in all conditions. We would all love to play on warm sunny daze, but some daze bring rain. This is why practice makes perfect and good shoes are the only thing we NEED to succeed in the happiness we seek. 98.2

A Static Sense of Longing

Is the shape of our days as we are not suspect of our condition. We are not taught to question, we are taught to observe the day as it is presented. Acceptance is a way to a static sense of longing.
Dreams involve fantastic things, maybe not so fantastic. Unless acquisition of the dream(s) is the order of your day, your dreams are a way to a static sense of longing. Through acceptance and dream comparisons made each day, we become fully committed to a static sense of longing.
This they say is human. This they say is normal. This is stated by people in a static sense of longing. 98.2

release

The anxiety builds, it wells up in every way possible. Then, when you least expect it, you simply put it all down and take one giant step backwards to see exactly what it is you are doing. How many ways can you weave into the equation the necessary justification for your inability to see the big picture? Thing is, you never realize how valuable people are until they are no longer available for the systemmatic, predictable, and somewhat shameful abuse you give unto them. You find yourself living in one big bubble of excuses. Then you know you are truely worthless. These people are incapable of happiness and will die in pain and despair because they know something is amiss but cannot find it. I know these people and they would'nt know happy if it crawled up their leg and bit them on their inner thigh. There is no comfort in happiness because people, some people, are too involved and not enough involved at the same time producing a comfortable imbalance; the imbalance they know and love soo much; Their only true friend 98

hippy girl

hippy girl
Originally uploaded by WinoInNYC

What has happened in the past is important. The past reminds us of different times and times that no longer exist. The big picture is a series of slides in time with music that fits each frame. This music, this time, fits all frames because it is symbolic of what can happen when people are compelled to move in unison. Oh yeh, the art was great 2! This is a lovely work here and it makes me think. That is what art is supposed to do and that is what art does.

better times always coming

Some people will live their entire lives under the, I have something to prove, banner. They continually prove themselves to themselves time and time again. The people around them know them like a clock and utilize that strength of character in that individual for their own usages. Reliance and determination are the hallmark of these individuals. They are the motor that keeps the car running and the system in check.
These people need a particular life, one in which relies solely on repetition; required for systemmatic goal attainment and achievement. Any deviation from this cycle, is viewed by themselves as crazy and lacking character. This self-masterbation serves a two-fold purpose: First, it gives that person room to be in that comfortable place of uncomfortablity they rely on so much because adversity is normal in the everyday grind and it carries over to regular life at times. Second, it carries over to the idea that you are not worthy of happiness when you really are saying, "I am unwilling to leave the comfortable bliss of my discontent." I know that if I were to somehow be happy at all times, I would certainly find a way each day to balance that shit out and stub my toe or something. Because me, I am no different than you. Why question happiness? Because if we do not, how can we remain in silent despair and longing for better times?

future

Logic in reverse for a bigger purse, this is our way. Where can we go from an emphasis on the individual, to an emphasis on the sructure within that produces these individuals? I mean we are punching em out one by one like attorney's and still no progress I digress. Mass labor movement for the construction and design, opps, reverse that, of a sup........... ...... .... ..!!!, you ....... morons! lol

her th

History is for first timers, everything else is just history repeating. Watered down versions of popular images we see everyday, this is what we have become. Who stands out in this cyclical landscape? You have to sell yourself to be seen. You have to please the masses. That means you have to give them what they want as you lose yourself while morphing into something entirely different. People like to call it growing up. Some even like to use Bible quotes here. There is nothing individual in a corporate landscape. You, me, we are all part of one big machine. But history requires new things, new ideas and new perceptions to ready the next generation for something other than serious debt and even higher costs. What will that new concept be? What area will vast improvements be made?

bloated, drenched, and unremarkable

Standing in judgement are those who run with the ways of the world. They see no need for alterations because their pants fit fine and their shoes shine almost as bright as their teeth in the night. Yes indeed things are working fine for all and there is no need to call, upon a better way of being today, for tomorrows fall. If no job awaits you, and there is no time to swallow, why do today what you cannot do tomorrow? 98

today

Should I do this or should I do that? I prefer neither! That has always been a drag and that plain scares me. If this were a different day, that would not matter; but it does. If it becomes that, then who will be responsible for it when it happens? Not me because that really pisses me off. This thing about the thing, that is over now. It never really mattered anyway. This thing that you said, it was bad and that really made it all the more unbearable. That you did what you did, that thing, made it even worse than that thing before. It was bad then and even worse now. This is what we do. This and that and every thing else that goes with each and every other thing. Today is not even over yet, and that is a good thing.

tasty

One of the many beautiful things about stories is you never truely, in the truest sense, know where the story will end. From the beginning it is like a big play that flows from one end of desire to the other; if that is your bag. Ultimately for me a story has an air of truth to it. There seems to be fundamental flaws in truth that drive the character of men and women. The lines we cross in doing our duties effectively produce the individuals we are. The consequences of which vary depending on the circumstance and character of each player. The situations vary and the mood changes with each word spoken in each situation. What it comes down to always is the written word because the words used give motion to the water and turn it white. Sometimes words can bring life to the objectionable and make it good again.

verbal espionage

The reason for truth has vanished in this blissful bliss. The uttered word is self serving, misconstrude, misunderstood, and taken out of context often. The secret lies in communication. True communication is everywhere and there is no need for words to describe it all; even amongst ourselves. We can communicate just fine without the exposed lies inside manifesting themselves at inopportune times. Absorbtion is the essence of communication. It is through silence the greatest and most significant forms of communication manifest and it is through silence we avoid the verbal espionage that bounds original thought.

tribe

It is possible and common to develop alternate existences in your head. Would it be better to just live there? If reality bites, then why live there? Where to live, yes, that is the question. Can it be both ways? Can balance be reached while swimming in both the salty water and the fresh water? Do we need balance? What is balance in a tilted world?

miles

It takes thoughts that come from calm and happy times to produce even the slightest of smiles and those thoughts can go on for miles and miles, at least on the inside they can. Once this occurs, if it occurs, it will shine on you like a light saber at a star trek convention. 98.2

people

The problem with politics is it's made up of people and people once educated (not always the case nor should it matter), believe they have the interests of the people in mind when they pass or not pass a bill that may or may not act in the interest of the people they serve. So what happens is they make predictions, or have people do that for them; who also may be acting on behalf of certain other entities that serve a more private purpose. This is why wording is so important. Certain people use words to mean one thing while actually meaning another. Proposals are made with loopholes in the wording which only a scumbag attorney can understand. So while divisions are thriving because of words- for the benefit if the few, attorney's win no matter what. So, who is really in charge of this place we call home? Who wins really when laws are passed and who benefits directly from those laws? The answer is people do. These are people who know how the system works and use that system in such a way as to benefit themselves. Unless people act to oppose certain laws, then the only thing that can be done is to accept things the way they are and deal with it, or, give up all your worldly possessions; yes the very same ones you have been working for your whole life yet cannot take with you, and make a change yourself. Why not, it is legal. How much are you willing to bet the next life is better than this one based on your acquisition of material goods? $100,000?, $500,000 and that cool car you just bought that brings in all the attention? If you claim the spiritual, then how can you take cash and social standing before your spiritual belief systems? If you have an opinion, great, blog it. But if you want change you will have to do it yourself at the expense of yourself. Just say to yourself, I am a hypocrite just like everyone else and how do you like that?" This is why choice is so very important. Freedom to choose is something nobody can argue. If you choose to be sanctioned and relegated to specific roles, then so be it. Limits are good and we are all limited. But if you have a problem with the structure, you must first be willing to put everything on the line for that spot in the history books and that plaque in the park because it will sure is all Hell cost you-and who really wants that? So, what do people really value?

coincidentally

The groove we feel sometimes takes us to hopes' entryway. We feel free and clear of any level of false consciousness and longing. There we thrive and dwell in gleeming sunshine and cheap snowcones.
The pool is full and there are too many lifeguards on duty. What we need is something substantial, something altogether new to inspire us into new frameworks, new dimentions, and new methodologies in science.
People have a certain level of predictability that forecloses on most deals before they have a chance to grow. This mentality of foreseen life chances toward the negative hampers any notion of good change for the better. Change is not always positive but it can be something that leads to, at the very least, a good and meaningful smile.

life

Life is a series of varying perspectives coming together in the hope of finding resolution to the problems that inevitably come along during our time. The relationships we establish are rarely lasting, even in the ideal relationship way; whatever that is. When people get together, patterns are established, contracts are drawn up, and agreements about future endeavors are made and sealed with a bond only humans can make. This functionality of the human experience through different perspectives is a testimony to the inner qualities we all share about each other. The cycle can stop and we can hear again. We just need to listen more closely as the noise is sometimes overwhelming, disarming, and unclear. Everything is not well sometimes and sometimes we feel bad and say things we do not mean. A lifetime can go by and someone will still be holding on to the words they said that took the magic away. This is real, this is human, and this is life.
Not good enough! I want to juggle firecrackers, play bingo naked, shoot 56 for 18 holes, and be submerged in a pool of raspberry jello topped with sugar-free coolwhip. I have no time for misery or pain of any kind. I only have time for juicy ripe apples and the skin of a soft woman to run my sticky little hands over so she can sleep better. Is that such a bad thing? What, you don't like raspberries?

reflections

There is a rotating star high above that shines on all people. This star represents everyone who has occupied this planet before us. These were good and decent men and women. Their legacy is alive and inside each one of us. There is a star in the sky for the guy who came up with those automatic air-freshener little auto thingies; pure genius this guy. I don't know about you, but it is difficult for me to get through a day without my auto air-freshener thingies in each room because the difficulty surrounding even the idea of having to actually move and pick up, with one of my hands mind you, a can of air-freshener, then having to press down with my forefinger the lever that expells the freshness, is just too much for me to bear at times.
And the guy who came up with liquid powder. Well, now were talking about a whole new level of greatness. Here we have a liquid that is applied to the skin that then turns to powder. Yes, I like that idea. So what did I do? I went to the store and bought some. It was like oiling my skin with glue. Hell, I thought I was in the first grade again. It does turn to an oily powder that mixes very well with perspiration leaving little globules dangling from places there ought not to be little globules dangling.
We must also remember how far we have come since the advent of reflectors on shoes. It is these kinds of advancements that make humankind stand tall above all other life forms. I cannot wait for the next big thing. Maybe it will be scented toilet paper. OOps, we have that already. Or maybe some guy will come up with a new all purpose toothbrush holder. At this pace, we will have more shit than any other people on the planet. We may not be able to breath, but the air will smell spring-time fucking fresh. We will be standing in line at the grocery store with oxygen masks on while little white dingle dangles dangle from beneath our shorts and arms; but our skin will be powder fresh and soft as a babies butt. If we shop and walk and ride our bikes and motor-scooters at night, our reflectors will let traffic know we are there. Wait, don't we have blinking lights now? Yes, I think we do. How much does a blinking light cost these days? If I had my own blinker, would it be legal? See, these things make the world a better place to be and it is our advancements in these areas and others like them that make this place a special one to be a part of.

too many twists

Moving constantly in one direction makes it difficult to see things from different perspectives. Once pace becomes too quick, the fence becomes blurred and anything said is done so in passing. Those who will never hear your words will never be affected. The only one to be affected is you. You are the one who misses out because circumstances are unknown to you; history is unknown to you; and empathy is unknown to you. These three things are always missing when people open their criticism boxes. The point is, when your on the fast track, nothing you say matters except to the ones who are grinding along with you; spinning and turning, spinning and turning. That is a cycle hard to shake. From that place, you will be no different than my uncle, who is the most miserable man on the face of the Earth. The upside is people like him live forever. That is one reason why the world is full of miserable people. These people love their work and without them, our society would come to a standstill. Misery is an addiction and it runs contrary to happiness.
If my uncle received a package in the mail containing an all access pass to anything on the planet, for any length of time, with unlimited funds, and enough soda pop and subway sandwiches for ever and ever, the bastard would find something wrong. Something would bring him down and he would be unable to go. Usually it is something like a new transmission came through from the planet moron and he now needs to measure the alpha particles in their excited bleepin state.

Life is nothing more than a trade-off between victories and defeats. We are measured not by our abilities to get back up, shake it off, and press on. The guy who came up with that did that and it stuck. No, we are remembered for our belief systems and level of happiness while living.
We all want a smooth sail in this world but there are just to many twists and turns for the ride to be a smooth one. There needs to be a cookie to come home to. I have many cookies and they are moist and chewy and great with soda pop or ice cold milk. lol

morning time

The dream I had last night was almost too perfect. I had the ability to fly and there were no issues. My only issue was finding a place to land. Although I saw many trees, and I wanted to stop and take it all in, but there was no time to nap. I had places to go and things to do. Actually I did nothing but fly around in one big circle. There was no reason, there was no purpose. That is why the dream meant so much. I had no purpose. For aproximately 15 seconds I had total freedom. I had freedom from the past and all future ties were uncertain. My place was complete. And now, once again, I wake to this................ untasty cough drop. 98

once

Once you get past the "Look at me and how good I am doing" stage in life, you realize just how short a distance you have traveled. There is a vision of self doing things and being things, changing places and creating even more things all of which are simply magnificent and completely honest. It is through honest accomplishment, in whatever capacity, that people receive their purpose. This cannot be done with an end in mind. The result should never be predicted. If you know the outcome of something, then the purpose and experiences in acquiring that outcome are mechanical and inhuman; of design and not passionate creation and therefor of no meaning but to preserve an empty vessel for dreams to never be.

conscious

People are always conscious of themselves and the state they are in at any one time. The first thing we say to ourselves in the morning is, "I feel like this or that!" It effects the way in which our ideas are drawn up and has daily influence on our life choices and circumstances we currently find ourselves in. It is our mood that determines our day. So now what? I say be conscious of how people see you, just don't let them be in charge of your heart and soul. Once you give that up, once you sustain an existence far removed from your natural ways for any length of time, you may forget exactly what it is that makes you smile and laugh and feel good about yourself- in a meaningful way. Once you find again that joy, that youth, that vigor, that vitality, that you inside, the one that likes to hide, you may find a whole new you. Then again, you may be just fine the way you are and finally find that change is bad.
I see people everyday walking by glass; windows, doors, etc. I see them glance at their reflection to make sure their presentation is in place. I see the people who walk by the glass making a conscious effort to not look because this morning they said to themselves," I feel good enough to not have to check myself because I know I look good!" Oh it is just the funniest thing. Maybe these people found a new guru or mate that has given them the confidence they need to not look and see. Or maybe they are in no mood for comparisons. There we go with that whole mood thing again.

stealing grace

I was walking alone along the sidewalk as I usually do and I was thinking of things that were disturbing and repetitive. Over and over these thoughts raced around and around. I worry about a great many things in this life; but I guess we all do that. I know it is positive to be strong and I know it is expected, but there are some times I think it would be better altogether if I just made myself fly away like the owl I saw yesterday. What a marvelous sight that was. He flew up high real fast like and then swooped down and caught his dinner. It was like a flash of light it was and then my bad thoughts were replaced by better ones. All because of the owl in flight doing his thing in plain sight.

to do's

I will never deny anothers feelings. I will never become something other than myself. I will allow for bumpy roads because I have brake pads by the case load. I will not say words I do not mean. I won't behave inappropriately or make a scene-when passion is on the line I mean. I shall always be prepared for circumstances beyond my control the best I know how. I will love only one woman until I die. I will never act in silence. I will understand the difference between what is real and what can be purchased. And I will always be honest with myself which means I have a long road ahead of me because nobody is harder on me than me: We are all guilty of that. This is why when someone I care about is in pain, or hurting in some way, I feel it-I feel it all; and that really hurts me. I would much rather feel their soul being nurtured and encouraged in a positive way. This is the price some people pay for caring about certain people in this way. This is what life brings to us. This is our burden. But the joys always outweigh the hardships and the smiles make it all worth it. I just wish the lows did'nt require such heavy chains to pull me out of that familiar hole. My belly is looking like ferrots have been using it for a racetrack and my gloves are wearing thin which means I need to go back to Home Depot and get another pair. 98

people

You know what is striking about people-they all have, we all have, idiosyncratic patterns of behavior that are unavoidable, unmistakeable, and simply marvelous. I suppose this is a good thing because it is these little maneuvers through language and motion that immediately determine anothers spirit. The question is; does that spirit change over time? Is the spirit we possess inside in the process of evolving?

Some believe the spirit changes and that it has a morphing mentality. For some I believe it does. For some the spirit is a wandering one that once bound by the Earth in a particular function, changes itself in a compensatory way in order to maintain. As we get older the conflict inside grows. This is normal, and it shows.

What is striking about people is the visuals one can receive when conflict exists. These visuals are sometimes unseen and subtle, while other times they are blatant and in your eye. This depends on the spirit inside. The patterns we develop result in a mirror image of the conflict inside the morphing spirit.

Fluidity

Consistency comes through fluidity in all things, especially in matters of the heart. Once the heart is invaded, life becomes not entirely yours. This is never easy because it runs contrary to how we are taught. Experience tells us that with such endeavors come extreme highs and lows. I want to focus on the highs and experience those highs with someone special. Being alone is fine and much can get done in an alone capacity, but there are those times when a hand on my face, a kiss on my cheek, or a touch on my skin would be very nice. Sometimes I think about being alone with someone where few words need to be spoken. Through silence people meet in outstanding places where sharing is a complete experience with natural fluidity and passion so strong, periodic breaks need to be taken. That is what we all need; that and a few giggles every now and again! Imagine that, passion and giggles noodles and pickles. Sounds fun to me.

manage me

Never before has there been a time in which so much confusion has reigned all at once. I think maybe it's been this way forever; but because we have new and interesting strategies for coping with all the nonsense, we can somehow find the right buzz, through trial and error of course,to get through the production day.
The future is sub-communities. What are sub-communities? they are separate from regular communities in that they will encompass everything life has to offer under one roof. Some will be above ground and some will be below ground. Some will be both above and below ground. Each community will have owners and shareholders and each community will be responsible for the production of primary life items. Like rats people will live in levels depending on economics and type of production. There will be the Subs who prefer life underground. The mid level workers who believe in the value of a days labor. Then there will be the ruling class who will live up high in floating palaces. The year will be 2356 when these things become true.The future is the production, maintenance, and manufacturing of air. But that time is not now. Now what we have is stagnation, debt, disenfranchisement, and longing for better things. 98

star you are

With intimate details, one can see even the most notorious aspects of a person through a passing glance. These details are worn like a red sweater at a green party gala. Sincerity is more easily noticeable because those who are truely sincere have a glow about them; an attraction to the beautiful things while bypassing the things that bring sorrow. The thoughts we keep locked up tight- those thoughts are reserved for the quiet moments we have with ourselves or with trusted souls who share our feelings about certain things. Rare is the time when we are unable to communicate, but there are those times when communication needs to be done so as to expose the real one inside; the one that requires no preparation for spectacle, no backstage requirements, no make-up. The one I am referring to is the star you are, not the one people see.

the most

In times of hardship and strain, the ones who see through the raindrops and beyond the coming tide essentially find they have long-time friends and acquaintances there with them on the same ride. The upcoming loops and turns and twists should never be gone through in silent society. Those inside are no friends of yours and they live primarily on the exerior, or outside, and they are the ones that tell you to better yourself. There is only one way to better yourself and it has nothing to do with exterior processes; for they are out of your control. If control is what you seek, or seek to maintain, you are living inside the exterior and your life is not your own. Your life belongs to forces beyond yourself and it is for this reason you are either dead or dying without being exceedingly overjoyed at the opportunities afforde you in life. Without joy there can be no real life and only the individual has the courage to reach for that which brings true joy to self. 98

allowances

The beauty in allowing yourself to be unhappy is the fact that you know you are not alone. Your misery is shared by each and every one of us. The lies we see everyday; it is a wonder we don't just throw our hands up high and say,"Why is the world structured this way?" We allow for a certain degree of happiness, but we reserve that ride for the other lives inside. Most of our time is spent in such a way as to perpetuate differences and reduce serious life issues featuring good and decent people into passive byproducts of daily conversation. Through allowances we postpone desires and where do we go from that place? How do we strike a balance between allowance and ourselves?

the con criteria

They embellish themselves using appropriate-self serving language meant to eventually altar existing thought processes and patterns to benefit themselves. They are conscious of every word they say and they use perceived weaknesses and vulnerabilities in people to fulfill their desires; and it is in this way some people are evil. Then there are those who see benefits in the short term to fulfill desires. These people see no problem with their behavior because this world is a tough place and you need to deal with it. The world is a tough place because of these short term cons and the people who use them. I see this every day in people because it is used by the common folks or those with a junior high mentality.
So which kind of con criteria do you use? How do you use people to benefit yourself in both the short and long term? Remember, you are a liar so be careful as you think, you may trip on yourself. lol

new beginnings

Autumn is not a time for change. It symbolizes nothing. It is simply the time of year in which new leaves come and we are reminded again of our short time here. We remind ourselves that change is inevitable and that we cannot always be happy. We do this because it is one of the many mechanisms we use to mask the confusion we feel inside no matter how well we put ourselves together. This is uniquely human and people, after they are gone, know of the mistakes they made and do so wish they had another chance to make things a little better. People are afraid to be happy because they somehow believe they need to be something other than what they are. They somehow believe they have been chosen for bigger things, more responsible things with bigger scope, etc. One way to use that is to say to yourself that you are tired, you are this, you are that and soon you are 56 years old and saying something entirely different; by that time you will have become hard as a rock, stale, and bitterly unhappy. Autumn is not a time for change. It is a reminder of what used to be and never can be again. 98

boxx

"The golf swing" is three words used way toooo much. Tooooo many people think they know what it is. Tooooo many people believe what they see and hear. Cut the cord that dangles the carrot. Let the balloon go high in the sky. Take a good long piss on the wall where you work and smile while you do it. The "Game Of Golf" is played by one person and one set of clubs and a pocket full of balls and tees. It is played at a place full of short and tall trees. Look around next time you play and see what you are doing; your playing golf man! Now, from there you can make forward progress in your golf swing because now you have a reason for practicing which makes the game better for you which then, as a result, improves your fun and motivation levels which lends itself to you improving your scores thus making the game of golf a cool and pleasurable experience for you as your scores go down and down and your trips to Vegas and beyond become more and more frequent baby! Hell, if you ain't having fun, your waisting your time and there will never be a way out of the box your in. I know how cardboard smells when its wet and it is no fun. What is your box made of?

haha, good morning wind and air.

Issues between the sexes there are many. What is so displeasing is how unrealistic we can be not only to ourselves but to others as well. The constant search for the utopian eistence is futile as one cannot even make it real inside his or her own mind. Some may say it is better to at least have a utopian plan or lasting image of something better than to have a defeatist attitude. I say it is unrealistic and counter-productive to have such images but none of us can help it. A man has images in his head. They include exactly and precisely what we see everyday. Is that a real existence? The issues between the sexes are many and we are all unrealistic and we all suffer because of it. Now that is real!
Being real about someone is never enough. Loving someone is never enough. Nothing will ever be enough. I feel sad for people who see things this way. This is something I see each and every day. There is wisdom in silence and balance in acceptance. No acceptance, no balance. Such a sad cycle of fake smiles and greying hair, bad actors with blank stares. Is this what we are now? Are we sad actors with fake smiles? Are we really ever satisfied in our quest for love? The answer is yes. There is love and it is very real. And when it bites ya, it's your ass baby! lol

---

Take all of your pain and all of your sorrow. all the happiness and every tomorrow and take it with you wherever you go- wear it well and let it show. Never let it be said that you lived your life for anyone but yourself. In order to do this, one must learn to take chances which means revealing that which is precious and personal leaving you open for anguish and sorrow. Thus the cycle continues.
Isolation works well for the swelled head. There is safety in that. I know my isolation and it is a special place where no harm comes to me- and there I am truely free. I like to hide my pain and keep it near. That way I will always have one at the ready to bail me out when things get tight. All anyone needs is room to breathe, right? cowards, the lot of em!
What is a moron? Member Of Rational Occupations Networks. Yes, these people actually feel as though they have the answers. They believe in the promotion and escalation of self above all things. Their opinions mean more to them than anything else and they need to let people know just how smart they are either through silence and mystery , academics, or idle chit chat. A moron is someone who holds themselves high up in the heirarchy of those classified, past or present, as incredibly smart. They work with people who also believe they are correct in all matters. I mean to tell you, the visual of such genius all grouped together, well, it is truely a biblical experience.

People

Things I like: Doggies, kitties, little ducks and birds and well placed punch 3 irons.
Things I do not like: anything to do with sales and marketing, politics, poetry, The city I live under, steel framed housing, parking tickets, tickets in general, lousy movies, crappy people, selfish people, new cars, brown shoes, hangovers that make we wish a violent death upon myself, the color orange, big clocks, paint thinner, the golf industry which hurts more than it helps, bad meat, good cheesecake dressed with, oops, wrong category, overly tall people, loud chewers, anything to do with soccer, and high green fees that extort the working man-you bastards!

tools

I had a tool once and when I used it my arm hurt. I took the tool and flung it into the river and as it flew in the air I realized that tool was entirely too expensive to be flying through the air like that. It did'nt even look right to me. I found no joy. As it landed in the water and began its journey strait to the bottom, I arrived at a conclusion. I told myself I would never again wear these boots because as the tool left my hand my foot slipped making the journey too short. I figure with the right shoes and some practice, I could throw the next tool even further; maybe even across the entire river.

my goodness

Man I saw a woman today while I was waiting at the doctors office. Yes, it seems I am falling apart so I was prescribed vicotin. Moving on-I saw a woman while I was walking to the car with my promise of hard drugs in hand signed by the man. She was tall and walked as if she were stepping over little puddles one after the other. She had shinny black boots up to the knees and spikes for shoes. As she walked by me there was an air of darkness. I had terrible thoughts of purple monkeys doing my taxes and I had somehow acquired a third foot which made walking a new and exciting experience. Bad news the entire way around the park she was. I would rather find pleasure in having someone cover me with glue and just leave me there, glued, to the panneling of a barn in Iowa midsummer while animals say to themselves,"This dude, he has issues man, real issues."

people

The man sat beside himself, alone and in the darkness. He
did not appreciate the flames blackening his new shirt. That shirt
cost 50 bucks and now it is worthless and stained forever, and for
what, he asked. Smiling he responded, BECAUSE I LOOK DAMN GOOD!
Look at those hoops now.