kaleidescope

Inevitably we conceive or realities through our filters marked by time and circumstance. From our first memory through immitation to our primary belief systems now, our lenses through which we view our individual world's are like a kaleidescope from kindergarten class. The angular shapes and colors we see bring through our selves that must somehow maneuver in the world among others who cannot possibly see things the same way. It can be assumed they have filters like us, but it cannot be said they lay claim to our ideals and desires in the same way we do, no matter how simple we claim our explanations to be in this regard. From this reality then, we can conclude that no one answer exists for any group of people who bargain under the same flagship.

peed

Where I once was free, through age I have become caged. I have become just like all the others who practice deceit to make their living. Those willing to be deceived are many because anything is better than what they feel on the inside. For some people, the extras are considered the norm and without the decoration and circumstance there would simply be an empty space resembling the empty face that hides in deep disgrace all decked out in fine design suited for the times both inside and outside our minds eye. 98.2 LLC

program

We are not trained to care. The only thing we are trained to do is look out for ourselves. Through this training we lose who we are. Why? Because the process dictates it and encourages it through the buying and selling of souls, with all its contents and containments. As we get older, we look back on those we have inadvertantly harmed in some way and try to care, but for some of us there is no despair. For some, they never can care because it is not in thier genetic program to do so. I have met emptiness more than once and it is always best to avoid such madness and shame.

never not ever

I think about you all the time. Even before I sleep I think about you. I think about how your hair smells and how good it feels to make you feel good. I think about your soft skin against mine as we embrace off and on throughout the evening. I think about how you make my life complete with all the ups and downs life throws our way. I love how, from time to time, you love to show just how wonderful your lips are as they move all over. I love the way your voice gets higher and louder as your lips move faster and faster when you become frustrated with me. I enjoy it when you endear me with your subtle nuances that remind me constantly of how things were when we met. Those were good times indeed. I love you my dear for reminding me of how things used to be and how you base all your angered thoughts on things you were partly responsible for. You make my life complete honey, thanks!

evening

There are mood days when the desire comes and then there is no place to take it. It is all encompassing and filled with such ache that even getting started in the day can be a real challenge. I sometimes would rather lay in bed and cover my head with the blanket that covers me inside from the ones who take on the outside.
I hate takers; those who suck away the strength, any strength one has, and applies it for their own benefit. If they only knew their future depends on their actions now. The world has a way of evening the score with no hesitation and always in varying ways. Never think you are immune to these things because you will feel it and feel it hard you will.

resemble

Take the idea, take it in stride and make room for it. Pursue it in your own way and devise the plan to take it over (literally), to the next stop along your road of silent desperation. It can never be bad to become involved in that which makes you smile; if only to yourself inside. Take no temporary stance in this regard. Carve out a spot in each day to see it through. In time you will find a person that strangely resembles you.

age and circumstance

There should be no surprise when people devise a plan of failure during an occupation of time when thoughts should be otherwise. It is fundamental in our experience to inter-twine both the presupposition of failure and success at something, simultaneously. However, in most instances, it should be no surprise when outcomes fall on the side of failure. This is our armor; this is our substance; this is our demotion into age and circumstance.

hell

It is everlasting fire and desire that accomplishment embraces, but the journey is different for everyone. Some may be denied the right to graze in the pasture before their morning run; others may be already sleeping following their morning graze and run. In the case of the latter, practice will be even hotter for an already burning desire. This is good on accomplishment's road because accomplishment never comes without experiencing the full spectrum of the human experience; down to and including what may be perceived as hell.

morons we are

People want change yet are unwilling to drop the roles they play for various reasons. Meanwhile, for example, over 70% of the working population is dissatisfied with their work. We like to wish things were different, but we are often unwilling to abandon the reasonings behind keeping things the way they are so as not to rock the boat, so to speak. Gotta keep that insurance; have to keep the bills up; the kids need stuff for school, and so on and so on and so on and so on. Another example is relationships and marriage.
Marriage is a tax break and nothing more. It is role play that was formulated in the past by people who have been gone for some time now. The divorce rate is above 50% and still there are more who never report; physical and psychological forms of negative action on a partner cannot be measured by anyone. One thing that easily falls into the rhelm of negative action is a couple, any couple, who choose to remain together for the sake of their kids. Kids see and hear everything and when they see negative action, they are likely to incorporate that same mentality in their future relationships thus creating difficulties for the responsible ones, the grandparents, who will be taking care of those wonderful grandchildren. Oh yeh, during this wonderful process we hate our jobs. Hmm, this sounds really great, NOT! 98.2 LLc

i do

Have you ever thought about another in more ways than one? Have you ever wanted to be with that person in more ways than one? Have you ever been drawn to another human being in a way that is completely new to you? Has there ever been a time when you were challenged so strongly yet excited at the same time? Did you ever think you would have the opportunity to explore a side of life you have only read about in books or watched on the screen? Would it be worth it to pursue the feelings you have for this person? Could you live with that kind of passion being expressed instead of repressed? Are you worth the space you occupy, with all the rights and privileges that come with it? Don't you think you are capable of feeling and being the passionate individual you are? I do!

silently inside

The pressure builds up over time and you weep silently inside while wearing the brightest of smiles. I see the real you, the one that runs and hides behind the facade necessary for you to keep from breaking down in front of others. You want to rest in a quiet room alone; this is what you desire most. What you want is possible even before your work is done. Take the time to remember just what it is you require of yourself to extend the privilege of being alive. Try not to waist time hiding and feel free to persue that which you desire the most. Soon you will be old and you will feel even more unworthy than you do now. Make a list of your desires and fill that need now. Do not worry, I won't tell anyone. It will be our little secret. 98.2 LLC

grand design

One small part of the grand design is our ability to know and understand that at this point in human history, we are not capable of knowing answers to the big questions about why we are here and where we come from and what happens next. Part of the whole is this knowledge that is indisputable and without challenge by anyone now. Because our cluelessness is so prevalent in our social world here in the U.S., we have managed to actually move backwards as other nations thrive. Meanwhile, we still have a society geared for certain groups while at the same time preventing other groups from attaining their goals through one's social dominance over the other. Is this part of the grand design? Are we going to have our heads up our asses much longer? I can see it now."Yeh, they thought they were smart way back when, but they were less than 70 years from when there was a PONY EXPRESS!" Is that part of the grand design? If so, we are most definately not as smart as we think we are. Is there a grand design? I say no. I think we were not born of fish but we did come from the water.

link

I talk about how inspiration comes from strange, obscure places. This is no more true than what I saw in this sea of blue. I walked through a long hallway where, at the end, was one very large room with blue neon lighting the whole place up. The edges of the room were dark and scattered with boothes. There was a single candle in the middle of each table within each booth. In the middle of all this was an empty space 19 feet by 19 feet that was lit by a single light pointing strait up. There was one small bar in the back. The music was classic rock and the conversations in the room were whispers. There were exactly 56 people in this room and every one of them had a look of contemplation and angst on their faces as if pondering many things at once. Their heads bobbed with the music ever so slightly and they all wore tiny smiles on their faces. Each person had with them a silver pen they twirled around with their fingers nervously in between songs. With the exception of the blue, I was home.

darkness

So I woke this morning with a third leg protruding from my right knee. It even had a foot shaped in the necessary way so I could walk without tripping. Needless to say this new leg, including a foot, took some getting used to. The first thing I had to consider was choosing a shoe that would somehow look as if I had some sort of style. Is the foot right or left footed? Neither, it had five toes all the same length so I sheered them to size to fit a right shoe. Fuck it, I am right handed and the damn thing belongs to me. The way I saw it, if I was going to harbor this new appendage, I might as well be consistent in the fashion sense and make good and damn sure I had some coordination. God knows if you don't look like you belong you better find some other place to go; other than New York. I could go on and on here, but I am tired, and I have literally been on my feet all day. What color are my shoes? Black! 98.2 LLC.

sun stealers

I have known people who demand and stand high atop the mountain in judgement of other people. They are the most reckless people I have ever known. They harbor confusion that mimics rather than feels. They are separate from the world and they have no way out except to gesture as if they cared. They are empty vessels that, like a black hole, suck everything inside the vast emptiness. They know only how to tear and rip. Keep an eye out for them as they are easy to spot. They move quickly and steal the sunlight away from those who need it most.

substance

There is substance inside all of us and sometimes it takes waves for it to show. Some people may not require a show, others need it. Substance comes from a firm belief in an ideal that is rooted in learned behavior either from primary or secondary sources. In some cases, this learned behavior happens very early in life, in other cases it may never happen. In our world today substance is hard to come by. Those who have it need not show it because it shines with their every word.

pain hides

Sometimes I see the hostility mask of defensiveness in action, especially among the wounded who feel pain inside but look really great outside. A smile for these people would hurt their skin as they yearn inside for difference. The cool-down at evening's end is the one time where thoughts gleem clearly like the teeth from that white, British chick who does those gum commercials. The rest of the day there is a constant grinding that slowly sucks the soul right out from them. I guess maybe we all have similiar issues; I guess we all have pain inside we need to hide. We get older and better at it!

wind contains

The wind, you can feel it on your body but cannot see it. The wind, it cannot be seen but we know it exists. We do not care of its creation or derivation, but we rely on what it brings us. We rely on it so much that we cannot imagine what life would be like without it. Some people feel the same way about other things that cannot be seen or felt. Does that make their beliefs incorrect? Who would I be to say they are wrong. They may feel something stronger than the wind. They may feel something earthly romances cannot provide. In the absence of such things, all we would have is the wind keeping us cool until we come to our ultimate coolness where there is no need for wind. How strong is the human imagination? It is as strong as it needs to be for those who seek answers to more pressing questions.

thread specific

I came across a woman in green. She had legs that were lean and they went all the way up to her butt. She was like a tall tree standing alone in one big meadow; strong and beginning to show form and function. I did not speak with her, there was no need. She looked at me and blew me away. For me to say a word would be a crime. I watched her as she elegantly walked by me. She smiled and raised her shades momentarily. She knew she was smoking and so did I. Why she appeared in that place at that time I do not know nor do I care. Even if it wasn't real it was real enough for me to never forget it. She wore a green business suit threaded specifically for her, and it fit beautifully.

recognition dream

There are but a few people worthy in this life of any real note. Most of what we see is complete malarky. Those who have uniqueness are not all selected to be a part of the so called "dream of recognition". Creationism should be the freedom to be exactly and precisely the person you were designed to be. This realistic view is not encouraged; which is why it takes greater courage to overcome the negative from those who did not choose wisely. The fact is, we are not encouraged to be happy and excited about our lives. We are not socialized to be a positive shape around ourselves. We are products of a system rooted in prosperous times. But those times are no longer and adjustments need to made in all our lives. This is not compensatory, this is progression. Progressive thought requires people singular in character who are willing to listen and adjust without making promises contrary to action. 98.2 LLC

necessary control

Oh there is a mystical place of truth that defines all that is corrupt with our thought processes and angular perspectives of self promotion. These things come from a far off place and time where control was necessary during turbulent points of creation and confusion. Times are much different now as we have grown to become more tolerant of things and ways we may not agree with. To think of our time now in such a way as to compare it to any point in the past is a form of regression that we cannot afford. That mystical place where we find the need to compare is indeed no longer useful if one is to come to a better understanding things. We constantly search for truth, yet the last thing we want to deal with is the truth within ourselves as it compares to the old times. The fact is, there is no comparison.

difference in you

Take the journey into the deepest and darkest place you can think of and maneuver with those who travel alongside. Expect different things you will, but the draw will keep you in your place. If not happy in that place, abandon the area all together and say goodbye to that unholiness. No sights and sounds can prevent the heartache within and no replacements are coming. This is your life now and who you choose to associate with makes all the difference in you.

always and remains

Northside madness meets up with southside sadness in a messy, outdated way of playing the game. The young ones become frazzled and then mistakes are made. Those who see from the window will sleep well on this night; those involved will live to one day regret their stay. In this pool, the swimmers meet only when the sun goes down. Like toads they bounce along the shore to the waters edge until making the decision to go in not knowing they could be food for fish. The one who watches will also live to regret their view. They will one day wish they were right in the middle of it all; the madness from both sides meeting kindly in their messy and outdated way that always remains the same from one generation to the next.

one bad thing

There is a pain that does not stop. No matter what I do or say, there is always the memory of that one bad thing. I compare everything to that one bad thing. Lately, I have been falling back to that place where my value inside is next to nothing. When this happens I get a direct view of the realities in people. That one bad thing was a different time; a different place. I am now seeing very little difference between my one bad thing, in one of my bad times, and things other people must deal with-their bad thing(s). That pain never stops and everything else can only apply to me separate from my one bad thing in this time now. This is progress and this is good.

everyone their everything

Growing up an outcast gave me a form and perception predicated upon the idea that reality is indeed a social construction that has been passed down from one generation to the next. It is not of our design and we today are not responsible in any other way other than to perpetuate it by simply existing. Because we are given roles right out of the gate, we are lined up at different points either at the line or behind the line.
Being an outcast I had to get along with everyone, which gave me the ability to see things from various other perspectives. The experience has been thus far fulfilling. Not for me financially, but for me as a person individually. Being on the sidelines has its advantages. Because reality is a social construction, it is easy to read. The actors who play the roles they play, do so while letting everyone know their everything.

no soul denied

Don't turn away because you are getting too go at that. Look back on how you act and see the pattern you follow. Make comparisons to what you saw growing up and see if you are on the same track. If you desire a different outcome, you must first change the view from your bedroom window. You must decide on your feelings on the inside because they are the one's you work so hard to hide. Spend less time hiding and more time persuing that which you desire on the inside parts; the ones that rub your souls belly.

hard to hide, the everyday

We work hard to hide our tragic flaws yet like those who wear too much of this and that, people make clear that which they desire to remain unclear. The ease with which they find themselves tucked away nicely in their minds is a reminder of our place on the human time-line. We all miss something and that search should be the driving force, but it rarely is. For this reason there are many people who will be living the remainder of their lives always wondering but never really knowing; always hiding, always reliving what may be or could have been and accepting that as just one more thing to hide deep inside while revealing it all in the everyday practice of existence.

be u

I arrived in my own resistance awkwardly awake and wishing I was not in this predicament. I did not come here by choice and I have come to realize that; which makes what happens from the beginning only relevant to me. There can be no precedence to follow or no line to walk because those lines were painted by other people entirely who came from another point in history. What they say worked for them may not be the best choice in these days for me.
I did not choose this place. If I had a choice I would be in a place covered in green grass with lakes and ponds all over. There would be trees and hills and valleys to walk through and there would be wildlife everywhere. I would be working all day and night in a job I dearly loved and my play time would seem like my work time because they both would bring the same amount of joy. I would be wearing the lightest most comfortable clothes not made by children in some factory for pennies a day and I would have breakfast served to me in bed by naked women; two of which would spend the hour following breakfast rubbing me down in preparation for a day entirely devoted to the game of golf. But noooo, I am in this unholy place surrounded by unhappy and pissed off people who cannot move in their lives because they followed the painted lines. 98.2 LLC

swifers and cell phones

Do we really need swifers and cell phones? What would life be like in their absence? Would we literally fall apart without them? Would we have dirty floors and empty ears; so much so we would fall away never to be heard from again? Would we die of embarrasment and tragically be classified among the down-trodden one's? What would happen if we had to do real work in communication and cleanliness?

d

There is plenty of ideas floating around on the outside. The same frame others saw through is available at all times by and for all people. But the fact remains that real ideas begin with a symbolic thought that is representative of a vision in the long term. This vision can be cultivated and cared for with just a couple hours a day set aside for dreams specifically. If done consistently, what will happen is the realization that you are worth it.

everything

I have a dream woman and she keeps me going. Through thoughts of this lady I become different on the inside. She is highly educated and extremely sexy. I have dreams of touching her hair and curling it sofly with my fingers while I gently caress and kiss her neck. I want to make her giggle with pleasure and joy, often. I want her to remain a dream because there is no way reality can match it. This understanding is rational and real. However, too often people desire the dream. When the dream seems like it is coming to fruition, and after the excitement dies down, you can fully expect your reality to be far removed from your original ideal. The reality rarely reflects the dream which is why dreams need to sustain themselves on the inside. We may want the dream, but the reality is that some dreams should remain dreams. It is through dreams we derive hope. Without hope there can be no desire. My dream woman is real, but in my dreams she is more than that; she is my everything; and reality can't touch that!

soaked inside the senses

Take the time to smell the flowers on your way out of the grocery store. The smell will remind you that there is more to life than the worries you keep boxed up inside so well. The energy from a still living flower can be soaked inside the senses and have direct influence on your next decision of the day. Maybe that sensation will transfer to the rest of your day clearing up any misconceptions you encounter inside. It costs nothing to smell the flowers and enjoy the natural things. The pleasure we gather together always occurs in the outdoor arena.

always same, but stronger

It was cold, I was tired, and I was shaking. My mind wandered into the darkest most self depricating places it could go. The energy was purely negative and the experience was truely unforgettable again. I was on my back in bed where the night before a witch was kind enough to give me a blowjob. I was hearing the same voices as I did in the other place and their words centered around the same main idea. For example, a favorite saying among the demons was that I was truely useless and hardly worthy of all their efforts to push me over the top. They would also say how much better off I would be if I were dead so they could have me for dinner. It was cold and I was tired and that was the beginning of a hellish journey that took its tole on me.

passion presentable

I love listening to people who are passion presentable. I love talking with people who would not and could not ever understand what it means to be an actor in life. They have no comprehension of what that means. I love seeing these people because even when they say things I may not agree with, or do things I could never do, I still would have the kind of respect for them that is of the highest level. Now, if they turn on their word; if they decide to let their word slide at convenient times, then it would be in the best interest of both parties to break away for a spell and let the fire cool out. People of passion never vow anything because they are naturally strong and they think beyond what others may or may not see or be willing to do. They think through a different lens that has various attatchments to increase or decrease the wideness and scope of each shot. To be passion presentable is to enjoy the everyday of being you. 98.2 LLC

failure

The evolution of man has not progressed as once thought. We have reflectors on our shoes and air in our tires and heads. We walk around all day with a cell phone that jams radiation directly into our heads and we talk about nothing in particular to anyone in particular. Few movies are even worth watching and more people vote for American idol then they do for President. We have an addiction to media that runs our lives, and we pay way too much for unnecessary things that we take with every time we move. We are empty vessels decorated in false fabric made by children in another country. Not only have we not progressed as a species, we have failed to progress as a nation.

everyway, all day

I am glowing through the backdrop of silent agony that has been unkind at times. Through the process thus far I have encountered a great many people from whom I have gathered information that is predicated on the idea that people are often spontaneous but at the same time suppressed in some way. Some people feel as though there are few choices for them; as if there are no more opportunities for access to the many available smiles and cries still left to experience. Would it not be better to have that experience of learning again through the optimistic lens that always remains clear as opposed to the lens that gets misty in the afternoon requiring constant care and attention? I say eat the bad experiences and bring some paint to the party. Add some color to your life because when it is dark, times can truely be unkind in everyway, all day.

we mostly feel

There are those times when the search is on, so to speak. When we search we find, but what we find may actually be a costume on Halloween. We may see things in another that are untrue; but true because we believe it so, so bad. Because our want to believe far exceeds the reality, our daily process can become completely garnished with excesses that give off perception with reasoning behind it. This can then encompass us from the inside; actually changing our internal codes and structures even though we know deep down that what we are doing is completely free from all rationality. So we search from the inside no matter what the season for that something inside another we can connect with without the tailored responses coming from a desperate frame of mind that nobody can see but most can feel.

lies

Even when everything is running smoothly there is sure to be someone somewhere who is doing something or saying something that is based on misinformation and it is all about you. They may know they do not have all the information but they feel as if they have some sort of equity in the eyes of the people they speak with. Little do they know the people to whom they speak do not care. If they do care it is only momentary until they decide if the story could use some tuning up for a delivery made at a later date. In all this the truth is relegated to the backburner where it simmers. By the time the truth comes out, time has erased all effects from the original misinformed individual who started it all. He or she loses their equity and fall prey to the social ways that require more lies than any one person can dream.

admiration

Take the notion that gels inside with the free flow of golden waters and reverse the process; reformulate the long term plan, and incorporate the same enthusiams into the political application of your original ideas. Because everything you do in life is political in some way, you have the knowledge to apply freely. The people you meet will be both allies and enemies in time, especially if success comes knocking. But what is success and how can we apply it in our lives?
Success draws upon your passionate insides that dream the dreams worth dreaming. The origins of what drives varies from person to person, and in time some passions may change, but our reliance on that which makes us happy is the only reason to wake each day. What is important is not the persuit of success and wine; these things come in time. What needs to take place prior to the celebration is a belief system and a way of treating people that reflects the passions you feel inside. There needs to be no sale for that because people will see and feel your every word and movement and admire you for it.

empty and ...

I feel like a permenent structure in silence built from years and years of resistance from the unwanted sources that exist in the form of the regular people like me. They do not mean what they do, but sometimes they do. Sometimes the words they place are pre-rehearsed in front of the mirror. Sometimes, you find something entirely different than what you thought it would be. Once you lay that foundation, the building process becomes a daily occurance and you will begin the search for the silent room; the one that matches the emptiness inside you try so hard to hide.

ok day

A stressed out man pulls up to the mountain top and exits his vehicle. From the large trunk he pulls a chair, one of those fold up one's you get at Sam's Club for 20 bucks. He walks to the edge of the cliff and unfolds the blue chair. He places it down and digs it in. He sits down and smiles. From his back pocket he brings a knitted hat made by an admirer. On this day that knit cap is his crown. He puts it on his head covering his ear tips. He lights a cigarette and holds it in for as long as he can. He exhales and smiles while thinking to himself," Yes indeed good people, all this is mine and you are allowed to do whatever you desire upon it."

presence

My desires require fast tires and horses to power them, but what is seen is quite the opposite. I would rather recline and stare from a really nice chair at the ceiling with blind eyes and an open mind while cranking the worlds greatest rock and roll as loudly and as obtrusively as possible. I would rather have cool people surrounding me that have some kind of passion driving them. This is our design if we so choose. We are not who we hang with, but we are what we become while in their presence. My desires still enjoy the left hand lane, but I am finding the second from the right to be somewhat more relaxing.

days at the beach

Appreciation and respect are both learned and rarely taught correctly. I respected my mother after each time she whipped my bare ass when I messed up. I could work my father over, he was easy. But mother took no shit from anybody and father would have been useless without her. I learned to appreciate and respect my father over time. He was the balance through times of imbalance; some of which he created. Nonetheless the man never missed a day of work if he could help it. Mother worked also and took care of four kids all of whom were selfish no good bastards. I learned to respect my mother after I watched her stand up for me in front of many people. When she was finished, everything was better all around. Respect and appreciation is what we have to show those who mean the most just how much they mean to us. These two things take time so never rush to judge the young one's who still need to sit in the sun for a while.

things that don't

Unlimited opportunities exist within the rhelm of personal happiness. From this wholly place of intent comes the desire and wonder of creaton. Through this vast land we can actually rise through and beyond the false desires we seek through what we see everyday. We can move beyond expectation and form into something entirely new and exciting. Like children we can laugh about the things that don't matter and sometimes do and step back to see the larger spectrum; the one that is all inclusive to all people through time and space.

smart women

Smart women get involved with and lied to by stupid men who use their lonliness, as well as any other thing they can, to seal the deal. The alternative in their eyes is a future alone with themselves; and that is often far too much to bare. This compromise will always benefit the man and women are conditioned to make it that way. When women do not feel comfortable enough with their stupid men, they will find that lonliness takes on many forms and is created through a great many things. Smart women are complex and difficult. They are a pain in the ass most of the time. But there is nothing sexier than looking and appreciating a woman in her element. Her confidence, her demeanor, her everything is as sexy as it gets. Smart women are much better than stupid one's; now if we can teach them how to choose better maybe we can have a better everything

you

There is no searching where feelings are involved. It does not matter if the feelings one has about another are positive or negative. The only thing that truely does matter is your level of happiness inside. What has happened in our social world is that we are not taught to be happy inside. We are taught to go to school and then work regardless of what or why. We are bombarded with rules and regulations from another time and often another place. Those rules only apply in some cases and reasonings, but in the long haul the rules and players of the game have changed; they must change in order for any form of progression can take place. Searching for one unified strategy to deal with the issue of happiness would run counter to the already formulated social ways we all know so well. Think about the possibilities if we were to socially incorporate into our school system a new way of viewing the world; a way in which self expression and individuality is encouraged through the arts and sciences. There are many people who are delighted with the idea of studying these things in great depth and through their enthusiastic participation in that which brings them the most joy, I can see young people kicking open new doors in the arts and sciences as a form of expression rather than repression through societal encouragements of sameness and shameless that are thrust upon us all from an early age. This is deceit in its most common form and we are all good at it, especially when we talk with ourselves. There can be no search for something that burns and yearns on the inside; that sensation can be altered to form, but it can never be anything other than what it is to you and that can never be taught; it can only be encouraged through positive dialogue of the same, through the same, by the same.

no stump to stand on

My everlasting strategies for coping are dragging me behind. This is what I used to say to myself until I realized what I have been missing. Believe me when I say: I miss nothing! I would never bring a child here and I would never marry a woman I would lie to; I could never do that. It is quite possibly the most negative thing a man can do when he decides to keep her as if she were a trained rat easily lied to and taken advantage of. The thing is the man and the woman eventually become trained. They become a pair of trained, half ass rats who suck at role play and become critical of other people while basking in their own personal miseries for comparison purposes. I see these people everyday lying to themselves, fooling themselves more than they are me. Issues we all have and issues we sometimes share, but at the same time being critical of other people shows just how miserable these people are inside. I could care less what people say because what they mean is as clear as a dingaling dangling and just as inforgettable. My strategies include trying to stay clear of nonsense and drive toward my individual happiness. I think from a place like that it would be relatively easy to let the nasty words people use so often slide down the hill of my soul into the deep, deep waters of my imagination; only to be remembered but never to be used as a stump to stand on while being critical of other people. I will always criticize the critics and let them know just how imperfect they are. The ones with no soul, do not care; they never have. These are the ones who were born selfish and were then fabricated by numerous external factors that do have influence on us all in one way or another.

exploitation of self

Exploitation is the only way to get ahead in this world. If you exploit that which works naturally for you into your everyday life, you can actually be happy with little to no compromises with anyone because what you would be doing is using your natural abilities and capabilities in your work and in your play each and everyday. Take advantage of what you are naturally inclined to do and have time for it. As far as money goes, if you are happy with what you do everyday, money that is more than sufficient will be there because of the sheer joy you feel inside and that will reflect in everything you do. As a matter of fact, paying bills will be as easy as writing a check because you will be smart enough to know the true value in things no matter their price. You will come to know what real value is and how to give it room to flourish. The results will be something to see and experience. Exploitation of your happy side will eventually lead to a longer healthier life with longer and stronger human relationships that will also reflect the very feelings you have cultivated inside. So I say exploit not the weakness in yourself or others, for that is in and of itself weak. I say exploit the fantastic and see how bright that burst of energy is when it goes off. I bet one could see it for miles if one were so inclined.

no soul

There is magic in the world and with that magic comes the hope and desire for experiences we can rely on to allow us to see the way to not do things; but sometimes the things we do are not designed to be anything but hopelessly pointless. This is what makes life a sort of dramatic overload because we often get bored and tired of the same. We make irrational choices because they feel so good at the time. The consequences seem distant just like us with each other. Once the magic leaves through the wires to the other places, that magic no longer exists. Once that is gone, all hope and desire will have at their foundation a bedrock of scraps from those who feed on lost desires and dreams; and there are many who have a body that has within no soul.

losses not

The inspiration inside is derived from within as it relates to the exterior self that relies on the people outside. Finding another who hears you talking from the inside with not a turning head or wandering eye is never an easy task. What generally happens is acceptance of another over a life of lonliness. We become half of who we once were and we forget certain things that are important to us. We make up for these loses through replacement and occupation of other things that eventually lead us astray from our happiness. Some like to call that growth, others call it something different. I call it a complete waist of time not even worthy of consideration at any time or place. What happens on the outside influences us all, but what occurs on the inside must be in line with your original intentions; before you grew up and accepted your losses so well.

everyone me

Those who look for simplicity among the difficulties we inevitably face simplify too much the situations that required muddled thinking to begin with. This fact however does not stop us from placing more wood on an already burning fire. This then becomes even more difficult to put out; some it takes a lifetime because the words used during these times of heat linger on inside the one who receives them. In time the one who spoke those words will look back on opportunities missed with that someone who is loved by him or her, which is why the words were used in the first place.
So now we have two occasions where decisions were made in a muddled way and the following words serve to settle no disputes but to increase them in time. Looking for simplicity, by looking alone, solves nothing but to postpone the inevitable. Face that which brought you there in the first place and find solutions through communication. Once the lines are available, dialogue can open a whole new relationship with the one's who hurt; all of us(you). Often times, once this new dialogue is established, simplicity can be found in time and that makes the process smoother for everyone involved.

none of it

I have become transfixed with what has transpired inside. The distance I have traveled is far removed from other roads traveled by other people, but the parallels however can be drawn for ever into the vastness of my arbitrary means that relies on the false powers and promises we show so freely. The wonders of honesty are gone now and we have become voyeuristic, disconnected, and forever isolated within the screen-self. We have become shackled up like prisoners of war and we have lost the ability to communicate on a face to face level. We have become traceable and we have graduated to the self inside where we become tuned in to what our subconscious is trying to tell us. I am transfixed with images just like you and none of it is real.

inability

There is no such thing as failure of purpose unless that purpose fails to recognize other people and the words they say. There is purpose in everything we do and what follows is usually predictable. If we manage to altar our purpose, we can surely expect variances in the different outcomes. From each new place we acquire a new lens from which to view the world so we may have a better understanding of how people live their lives. Insodoing we become familiar and willing to listen to other people when they speak of how they live and how they have become to be the way they are.
There can be nothing more valuable in this life than to have someone listen to every word that another says. The person speaking can understand on the inside that you are sincere with your ear and that what is being said is indeed worth every bit of the time it takes to make the thoughts open and complete. Only when necessary should any word be spoken when another is speaking from the heart and it is layered high enough for the clouds to feel it; only when called upon to speak should anyone break up the free flow of the usual and unusual, because they are synonymous with being human. Failure of purpose is the inability to listen, even when the situation may require otherwise. 98.2