I totally understand when people call doctor people quacks. I get that rom start to inish. I read a comment that said you don't need to have a chemical imbalance to become an alcoholic and/or drug addict, but an imbalance does exist within the brain o someone who is bi-polar. rom what I gather, bi-polar is characterized by dramatic mood swings that can occur at various intervals or levels, depending on the stimulus and intensity o "a" situation... or no situation at all... just a situation that is happening inside ones mind. The thing is, people with, let's say depression, have eelings o worthlessness that have no basis in reality. It is something that is contrived out o nowhere and it is what it is. It can be said that a chemical imbalance does exist within said mind. In such cases, proper medication and guidance could be o use... or not. The point is, depression is not understood because it has many variables to consider. To go along with that, each person has a dierent chemical makeup stemming rom dierent circumstances. Oh sure there may be similarities between two or ten thousand people, but the lie experience o each individual person who lives with depression everyday is unique. It is thereor next to impossible to be 100% sure o a proper diagnosis when it comes to depression. In my world, depression is something I learned to hide, well. I kept busy growing up with sports and school so I never let mysel have the time to not be doing something. As I have grown and become less active in those arenas, I have ound that I have the same pathetic, nonsensical notions about mysel as I had when I was young. Bi-polar is something people, even doctor's, know little about. Yes, they know more than those who do not have bi-polar because they study people who have that diagnosis. In reality, that means they have more valid things to say about it than Joe Schmo with virtually no experience in the area. One could easily say, " Well shit, Moby Dick was a shitty book"... having never read it all all. I mean, that's super easy to do and it oten happens when people don't have a clue as to what the hell they are talking about. In my world, Bi-polar is marked by periods o extreme highs and extreme lows all with varying degrees o severity. Sometimes the darkness and negativity is so thick I could absolutely end it all. Yet I don't because I lack the courage. So I chose to drink it all away or quite some time. But ater years o "good times" I ound mysel back in that place, unhealthy, spiritually bankrupt and physically wounded. Through those times, I did have periods o sobriety where I did eel extremely high, but without drugs or alcohol. In every case, in every instance, I always ell hard straight to the bottom o the darkess hole I could ind. I honestly know o no other way to see lie, my lie. I did the medication thing or a ew years and ound it to be aective to a certain degree. But ater x amount o years, I stopped and have been pill-ree or almost a year. And rom what I can gather thus ar, nothing has changed. I am simply older and I guess more comortable with it. I simply quit the ight and accepted mysel or who and what I am: imperect, honest, and quite the ool sometimes. That said, things like depression and Bi-polar disorder or whatever anybody calls it is indeed a reality or some people. It is nothing to lean on or use to make lie easier. Believe me when I say there is no such thing as "easy" when it comes to having to deal with seriously negative eelings about yoursel that have no oundation in reality while at the same time waiting or that crispy wave to take you back to the beach, switly and with enthusiasm knowing that what waits or you at the blanket is a sunburn, sand between your toes, and no water in the cooler.