Some people, usually younger people, are willing to do anything to get ahead in this world. The most hurtul o these things is to separate themselves rom themselves. In many cases, these young people are not aware o what they are doing while they are doing it. They just wake up one day only to ind themselves scheduled to do certain things or those who helped bring them along, so to speak. In time, they invariably ind themselves in constant motion or the beneit o other people. Playing the earthly game o "success" is hard-hitting and very real. Those willing to do unthinkable things have the kind o desperation only those looking to exploit that demeanor or every nickel it's worth are looking or. This is especially true o the entertainment industry. What ills our television screens and movie screens are people, some o which did unspeakable things, that have a certain kind o majik within them. They may not be the most talented, but what they do possess is the ability to transorm the audience into being something they are not. They move the audience to participate by involving themselves rom the inside... actually imagining they are part o the iction that is being presented to them. I call this The Secondary Lie. This secondary lie is very much preerred by many people as the regular lie we all possess does not have the same impact on other people's lives. The only thing we have as human beings is the idea that we can be what we want to be in this world. But this must be done without compromising the principles we gained as we grew up. This hold true no matter how good or bad the household was when growing up.

A lot o people, all o us really, have ideas about such mundane things as the meaning o lie. I mean, what exactly is the meaning o our lives here on this planet? Speaking or mysel, I did not choose to be here. In act, I came between two miscarriages. I have no recollection o anything prior to 1969. When I was a kid, I became absolutely transixed with the reality that we have a inite amount o time on this planet and that nobody knows i there is anything beyond our existence here. I started to explore religion and philosophy when I was a kid back in the late 70's. I remember inding out how people rom dierent parts o the world had diering versions o what I came to know as the ater-lie. I also ound early on that children inherit their parents religion and worldview... or the most part. One could argue there is no choice in the matter. It was during high school that I became interested in sociology.
In sociology I ound a myriad o great thinkers who entrenched themselves with trying to understand how society works and the driving orces that operate behind society and how society molds its actors into behaving and thinking in certain ways. Once I started taking communications courses, it became clear to me as to the direction I was going to go. I did not think about what it would pay because I knew there was no pay and that poverty was probably going to be part o the lie I have always known. I suppose my saving grace is the act that I am a minimalist.

I totally understand when people call doctor people quacks. I get that rom start to inish. I read a comment that said you don't need to have a chemical imbalance to become an alcoholic and/or drug addict, but an imbalance does exist within the brain o someone who is bi-polar. rom what I gather, bi-polar is characterized by dramatic mood swings that can occur at various intervals or levels, depending on the stimulus and intensity o "a" situation... or no situation at all... just a situation that is happening inside ones mind. The thing is, people with, let's say depression, have eelings o worthlessness that have no basis in reality. It is something that is contrived out o nowhere and it is what it is. It can be said that a chemical imbalance does exist within said mind. In such cases, proper medication and guidance could be o use... or not. The point is, depression is not understood because it has many variables to consider. To go along with that, each person has a dierent chemical makeup stemming rom dierent circumstances. Oh sure there may be similarities between two or ten thousand people, but the lie experience o each individual person who lives with depression everyday is unique. It is thereor next to impossible to be 100% sure o a proper diagnosis when it comes to depression. In my world, depression is something I learned to hide, well. I kept busy growing up with sports and school so I never let mysel have the time to not be doing something. As I have grown and become less active in those arenas, I have ound that I have the same pathetic, nonsensical notions about mysel as I had when I was young. Bi-polar is something people, even doctor's, know little about. Yes, they know more than those who do not have bi-polar because they study people who have that diagnosis. In reality, that means they have more valid things to say about it than Joe Schmo with virtually no experience in the area. One could easily say, " Well shit, Moby Dick was a shitty book"... having never read it all all. I mean, that's super easy to do and it oten happens when people don't have a clue as to what the hell they are talking about. In my world, Bi-polar is marked by periods o extreme highs and extreme lows all with varying degrees o severity. Sometimes the darkness and negativity is so thick I could absolutely end it all. Yet I don't because I lack the courage. So I chose to drink it all away or quite some time. But ater years o "good times" I ound mysel back in that place, unhealthy, spiritually bankrupt and physically wounded. Through those times, I did have periods o sobriety where I did eel extremely high, but without drugs or alcohol. In every case, in every instance, I always ell hard straight to the bottom o the darkess hole I could ind. I honestly know o no other way to see lie, my lie. I did the medication thing or a ew years and ound it to be aective to a certain degree. But ater x amount o years, I stopped and have been pill-ree or almost a year. And rom what I can gather thus ar, nothing has changed. I am simply older and I guess more comortable with it. I simply quit the ight and accepted mysel or who and what I am: imperect, honest, and quite the ool sometimes. That said, things like depression and Bi-polar disorder or whatever anybody calls it is indeed a reality or some people. It is nothing to lean on or use to make lie easier. Believe me when I say there is no such thing as "easy" when it comes to having to deal with seriously negative eelings about yoursel that have no oundation in reality while at the same time waiting or that crispy wave to take you back to the beach, switly and with enthusiasm knowing that what waits or you at the blanket is a sunburn, sand between your toes, and no water in the cooler.

Nothing

The last thing anybody really wants to hear is truth. There is evidence or this. Many have told jokes about it. Little clues have been let throughout the writings o all kinds o people rom various centers o social, political, and entertainment industries. The very irst thing many o us do when we hear things we are not amiliar with is to simply judge them to be wrong, call it bs conspiracy jargon, and remove the thought immediately rom our minds. But the act is we are all owned by international bankers. They own the government and thereor have tremendous inluence over policy and things like war. This is something that has been in place since our Revolutionary War. But the real oot went down in 1913. No matter what anybody says, that was the year America lost its identity. In that single year, America became no dierent than Europe... just less time in the game. Not long ater, we became the strongest military power on the planet. Why? Why us and why during the time just prior to the cold war (manuactured)? Skipping ahead, nobody looks at the decor o Dealey Plaza. Having been there, I can say that everything is in plain sight. It's so out in the open it is diicult to notice given what took place there. The thing is, these people don't care about us, the little people. And as a result, those in the government who are plugged into this thing also do not care as they have been given the kind o power that they desire... even though they are all acting on other people's behal. They don't care about anything other than their goals which were publicly stated by George Bush when he talked about a New World Order. Jack Kennedy was not privy to this idea, essentially, and was made to be an example. In actuality, Jack knew he was screwed. That was just a perect storm that made it necessary or extreme and immediate changes to be made. The strange thing about this all is the act that many people who operate under various guises do so because that is their job. They know nothing else but what they are assigned to do. Lying is just part o the larger picture which includes one generation ater the next generation. The truth is, people are or sale. or enough money, anybody would do what they are told to do and say what they are told to say. Television makes us keenly aware o what success is. It sure does look like a lot o un doesn't it?

People make the mistake o thinking it's a dem or rep thing. lol, it's not. the repubs just take money rom dierent groups, well, sometimes the same, but dierent. lol. So maybe we should just all get over that. But noooooooo.... lol. I you like the earth, you're a liberal moocher. i you like Jesus, you're a Repub. It's just one screw storm ater another and you can check all this shit through the ages. And since 1913 and the passage o the patriot act, there really is no Constitution that applies evenly to all people. In act, there has never been and there never will be equality. There can only be tolerance because the monied amilies and bankers amilies and riends will always be in control o everybody o any signiicance within the government. There will always be people in high places with direct connections to their bosses. The unny thing is and the bitch o it all is the act that everything can be placed under the umbrella o conspiracy. or example, the more time you spend watching the news, the less time you are apt to spend digging on your own. It took many, many people to put programming like that together... which makes your lack o eort the result o a conspiracy to prvent you rom even having the will to dig any deeper. Isn't that great?

Nobody talks about it, but many write books about it. With all the darkness in the world, with the "Look at me and how well I am doing" mentality that drives us all to the point where we can grow no more, what does that get us? Security? Shit man, has any great thing ever been done rom a place o security? People look down on other people rom places o security. People become armchair quarterbacks and solvers o geopolitical conlicts ater a hal rack o beers and a bag o cheese nips. Then what? God? Then what do people inevitably do? Look down on those who don't worship as they do. This is why God is not the solution. So long as man walks the earth, there will be conlict and it will have one hell o a lot more to do with what was planned ahead o time, with a purpose, than anything the people will ever be told. With all the darkness in this world, there is light. But this light is not ound in all places by all people. It is ound in the cracks and crevices we ind within the darkness, the little openings o time. Just like lies, the truth is presented all over the place in many orms. Art is, in general, a great place to ind and interpret truth.

I was sexually abused by two girls once at a party. Did anybody listen to my story? No! I was lead into a hotel room by two adult males when I was a kid. I got lucky and said my mother was waiting or me at home and she knew I was at The Roadway. Nobody listened. The vibe was a dark one. Male or emale, the world has darkness in it. Within this darkness is what can only be called mass manipulation. The stories that really matter nobody hears about. Some will say,"You eat the meat and unwrap the presents while we slaughter the pigs and cows you put sauce on." To a large degree, this is true. But in the last analysis, in order or there to be such a place as this where there are people living ruitul, yet largely in debted lives... where paper thin television screens can now be slapped on the wall like old wall paper, there has got to be a high level o cluelessness that cannot be readily identiied by those who are most aected. To see it rom within is a diicult task. But there are many rom outside who can see what has to happen on the inside because it has happened in their countries to their people and their amilies. They understand how propaganda works and how it aects entire generations o people. It's like this: You want crime to go away? You want prisons, just not in your neighborhood? You want everybody to pull their own weight and be like you? Really? You want everyone to be just like you? You care that much? And you care enough to convert them to your religion? Well shit man, what would that do to the prison population? What would that do to drug addiction and the making o unwanted babies? Less cops, less nurses, less doctors and therapists needed. Less prison guards and less prisons being built which means less money being exchanged. What would that do to the economy? More God, less crime which means less need or home protection. What would that do to the gun manuacturing industry? Let's not kid ourselves into wanting things to be like this or that because no matter which way it goes the realities o lie are created as such that everybody gets paid all along the way. Nothing in this world is ree. As ar as being used sexually or getting lucky one night when it was plausible that I be raped or killed, I know about those eelings and have had to stew on what these realities must be like or other olks with much more severe outcomes. Intended or not is not the point, but spells are being cast on all those who care to know. People are making money keeping us away rom ourselves.