experience unexpected

Take the fear that has been planted in you; like it; realize it; or not, and postpone it for a day just to see how it feels. Abandon your robotic ways and turn right on the way home instead of going straight. It may take you a little longer to get home but you may learn something, or see something, or feel something you have never felt before. To have an experience unexpected is to fulfill your number one duty while occupying your space; to have something inside that did not exist before that you can remember and draw upon. It is these things in our lives that allow us to create valuable memories that define who we are in the social world as well as who we are as people; as far as they can see. Nobody really knows anybody, as far as we can see! 98.2 LLC

The design relies

We enjoy telling ourselves we can't. I know I do and I have embraced that notion for years. I tell myself constantly what I cannot do which makes the things I can seem short of the line; not quite home. This becomes a greasy spot on our thought processes which then begin firing only partially. From there even the most beautiful thing is only a partial speck of what it can be. This is the acceptance of the self fulfilling prophecy by design.
Once we accept the bad news of having to let our dreams fade away to become successful from all those who did it years ago and who now rely on meds or God or both to get through a day, we accept a life that can only be at its best 10% of what it should be. The first time we close the door on ourselves in any way, that is a testament to how limited we are-by design. 98.2 LLC

can not can't

Intensity lies and feeds on a single striking thought. It regurgitates constantly searching for the right flavor and design. Days come and go and each one offers a new solution, a new concept, a new desire to dwell upon. Never get caught up in limits. Never get caught up in traditions. Feel your way through the constant tides. You will find your skin and feet can take it. Think of all the wonderful stories you will have after you quit thinking about it and actually do it and pursue it with vigorous delight. 98.2 and yes I am talking to you.

death in the middle

By night they seek you out and when they find you they watch everything you do. All your calls, all your meetings, all the media and books you like; everything you do and everyone you come in contact with is logged down in a data base by stinky people with no sense of humor and no concept of what it takes to not be stagnant. Restraint is there field and it is through restraint the human capsule seeks outlets to plug in to. This is what we do as people. In order to be in that game you have to lie; which is exactly what the adults tell their children not to do. That in and of itself is a lie. Think about that shit!
Once you are known, stamped, and approved, you can begin the marginal life; the one you replaced your hopes and your dreams with; as if you will ever get another chance. Nope, once you cross the line of moving into the world of lies you better lie yourself and be damn good at it or you will always be in the middle, and the middle sucks dog balls!
They are the ones who get paid to be what we are told not to be.

nada on the regrets

I read something recently about how it is better to be sensable about your decisions as you make them in order to avoid regret. That makes about as much sense as building a house with eggo waffles. There is no way on Earth anyone can ever live on this planet w/out regret. By that same token I would argue that proceeding in life in that way creates regrets simply because you are acting on the idea that life is supposed to be ordered and predictable when in fact a human life is filled with decisions centered in the idea of regret avoidance while making regretful decisions. To live your life avoiding anything for reasons that are thought about and concluded upon after deliberation is a complete waist of mind time and I am not interested in avoiding shit. I am interested in experiencing and then going with that. Regrets, yes, there are many; but I would never change my past because regret is all I have and it is something we all share. The fun memories are always regretful later anyway because of all the fun you had during those magical copulations in science.

real life

There are many who do not trust banks. For that reason they prefer cash. My grandfather was this way as I am sure many from his generation were. My father tried to be that way until mom found his hidden shoe box in the closet. All that bithin and moanin for years about money this and money that and the whole time he was hoarding money as if he were shelling payoffs to crooked members of the city council or hotel rooms to meet women for anonymous sex; paper trails are unacceptable. These are things they do not teach in school and this is reality. If you do not like it, pray more!

that sadness, that negativity.

Remember when you were a kid and you viewed the world as a complete waist of time filled with older people who were bitter and stupid? Remember when you looked at your entire community and saw tarnished innocence corrupted not by themselves but by the order of things; the heirarchy of political power within the larger frame? Imagine for one moment yourself "growing up" to that place, accepting that place; the very same place you once loathed but now make excuses for as you climb the heirarchal ranks of social order and credit. Are you in it? Do you like your grown up spot? How does it feel really to have abandoned your dreams while making excuses to the number one most important thing in your life, YOU! Never shit on people who have not abandoned their dreams like you have, if you have. The past is gone and there are no excuses for that sadness, that negativity. 98.2

lifeness

In my time of discontent I see sadness in the human rhelm beyond the dress, beyond the duress, past the smiles, cries, tears and fears. I see a mechanical spiritedness merged with a flooding of standards inequitable for the most part by those who live by the lie. This merging of emptiness with the remnants of past lies and torturous sublime order makes us all empty so we may sustain the lie they weave and we perceive.
We dress for duress and our training requires that. The cries with lies on the inside and out wait for our oldness and pain to appear as it did with all those before so us, like them, can reflect on all our missed opportunities while the devil laughs directly at us. But hey, we don't believe in anything anyway and that is representative of our mechanistic ways and sound measures of contriolled discontent. 98.2

lost in the temporary.

An emotional investment is the least favorable way to enter and proceed with any relationship these days because of the unbelievable availability of options that come in multiple forms all dressed with multi-colored sprinkles made to order symbolically reserving the right to be in a tremendous state of stagnation and missed opportunity while rolling down the unending avenue of predictable stormy weather. 98.2

dumbass

One of the most endearing qualities we humans possess is our inate ability to actually believe our own bullshit. We can talk our way through just about any crisis of self and make it good again somehow by falling directly back into the bucket of molasses so we can struggle only to do it all again. This cyclical behavior is what makes us all fucking stupid. 98.2

A man stands in line at Wendy's. While observing the menu he notices a young woman dropping change in front of him. There was a little girl standing next to her and she was holding the woman's hand. As the young woman bent down to pick up the nickels and dimes he also bent down. From his mouth sincerely came,"every dime counts." The little girl looked at the man as the woman stood up digging in her purse as if looking for her coin purse or something. The little girl was not smiling and not old enough to run a sympathy scam on him. I swear it was like a play as I sat at a nearby table watching this older gentleman looking this girl in the eye for what seemed like a full minute while I anxiously waited for the next move which was likely to occur in this very second, this one moment in time. What did the man do? He walked right past the girl and the woman and as he did he put a piece of paper in the little girls hand.
I wonder what was on that piece of paper. I thought it was money at first but since I heard no laughter and saw no smile, I have to think it was still at least something. I watched them get their food and they walked out the door. The little girl dropped that piece of paper on her way to the car and it fell to the blacktop. I just had to know what that paper said, if anything. I walked out and just as I got there a wind came and blew the paper up into my hand. It was truely an incredible thing. It was a corner of some glossy magazine and on it was this: Everytime you give up a nickel, it comes back to you dressed like a dime; but sometimes that dime does not come in the form of a dime. It may come in the form of a smile from someone you don't even know or a cool breeze on a particularly warm day. No matter what it is always a good idea to pack some loose change with ya whenever you go. Not for the dimes, but for the times when you need words to make rhymes and you cannot afford Wendy's. 98.2

none, yet

Alone in my box sheltered from the fear I have solice for a spell and a breath of fresh air to clear my box making room for yet another piece of history. Here, in this place, I have the will to be clear. I have the desire to be where I want to be and there are no disappointments. I have full reign of my fiction free from indecision and judgement. I have no need or desire to act in any specific way to cater to anybody's needs but the one's I require-which are very little.
Alone in my box I have the control I seek and the desire I require and the shelter I need to never make a difference in a world full of sadness and wanting, liars and false desires sold for the sake of selling off pieces of manufactured child labor. 98.2

ficticiousness

We all want to be set free from the burdens of our past errors. Given the chance I have no doubt most people would enjoy a second shot at this life thinking they could somehow do it better. So what do people do? They make babies so they can raise their kids better than their parents raised them. In most cases, the young morons making these decisions are following a new tradition that encompasses a wide variety of special directives from questionable sources who happen to have more control than you care to think about.
There is no irony going on here. Our social world is jaded and full of deception. None of us have any idea just how sad we truely are and how little freedom we actually have. The computer world in the new frontier where people can act out their fantasies while maintaining a comfortable persona to sell to all those he or she comes into contact with irl. So, which persona is the real one? The real one acted out in real time in real life or the one we occupy in the wires and in space? 98.2 because they are both played out in a world of fiction.

keepsake

Moderation is a word use by those who have something to gain by using it either through idle conversation, which is what most conversation is, or a simple regurgitation of what was previously heard and accepted as normal and now being reused as a suggestion for life by someone who is probably just as clueless as the rest of us. Moderation is broad, lifeless, and is easily manipulated not unlike most people and is often used by those who somehow feel comfortable with themselves at the time they used it.

emotion & motion

We all seek the remedy to lonliness and fear. We all require a fulfilled desire to accomplish our goals and find happiness somehow along the way. Some deny their right to be happy because of tradition. Coming out from a restricted area like that can sometimes be overwhelming. The balance is usually off in one way or the other forcing us to be decisive in situations we would rather not be. The consequences are such that not until years later do we realize how foolish we were then and continue to be now. Learning, well, that's for the other guy. Some of the smartest people I know are also some of the most rediculous people one would ever want to meet and they rationalize everything to make themselves feel better about the choices they have made which given the chance they would gladly go back and redo. So we read and play on the internet to soothe our strains and calm our fears in the hope of magic somehow striking down like an ancient force calm in demeanor but strong in emotion and motion. 98.2

greed

That's the life we have, the life we take for granted.
There is a thing in the world called the essence of man. Depending on which time frame you are looking at, the essence of man is that of greed in all its forms. This was not the intention but it is most definately the result. On the big timeline, we occupy a time of change where people are scrambling for cover under the blanket of warmth and security. This mentality is what shapes those who play and is of no use to those who do not. It's fine to want, just make sure you want in a way that is realistic and not like the one they sold long ago. That was a complete lie!
That's the life we have, the life we take for granted!

for accomodation sake

We all need a place to go, the place where we feel safe. It should not be a physical spot and we should never rely on another to find it. I truely believe once you give up that place, that box, that resting spot, you give up the one thing that is truely yours only to be replaced with something else that never seems to merge right with the original. The ensuing inner conflicts that inevitably arise from walking so long away from that spot bring agitation. This imbalance inside stirs wrong emotions that have little to do with the situation at hand yet vitally affects that situation. The eventual change of course causes one to search again for that place from even a greater distance than before; or at least a dissimiliar surrounding perspectives which again shape new thoughts that may or may not lead back to the original spot.
It is likely that spot will never be seen again. Time usually takes care of this for all of us. But that reality does not satisfy those who have found success in their lives. If you ask truely successful people how they came to be that way they all will say," I thoroughly enjoy creating something that means so very much to me." For it is through creation and imagination that beautiful things come to light that shine brightly upon that spot, that place, that true sense of being. 98.2 everything else is bullshit with icing!

bumpers

I had an image in my head and it made no sense to me. I thought long and hard about it and have arrived at a conclusion. First, relationships burn out. If you think they don't then you are unconscious and tremendously satisfied with half assing yourself. The image was of my friend getting married and playing house. He was restricted, she was restricted, and they burned out sexually long ago. Once the sex goes, it is only a matter of time before bing bang boom you are unsexworthy.
Marriage is a waist of time unless it is like the one marriage I have seen that is still working today after years. Open marriages relieve the sexual tension and allow space between the two taxpayers who reep the financial benefits in every way possible. They both work hard and enjoy the nicer things in life. As adults, discreet affairs work wonders for keeping excitement alive in our individual lives.
A good hard bump every now and again cannot possibly be a bad thing. I know when I get bumped I wear protection just in case my bumpers are losing air and no longer are effective.
What is it about people and searching for self? Why do we lie so much inside? You would think as we get older we would not be such tight asses, but there are some people who have very tight asses. These are the people you never ever want to marry because they will always be on the look out for the BBD baby, the bigger better deal. This is why there is an on deck circle near the plate between the car and your apartment containing a new player in the game. Little does he know he occupies a temporary space in this game. That is of course unless he is a moron and is looking to secure a spot in one hell of a long drawn out game full of nonaction and nonanything for that matter.

three trees for prosperity

The prosperity tree blooms and is pushed through daily rederick leading to discontent and lack of patience. The fact that someone occupies marginal status does not fly for those on the career pathway. What they desire is more and the system prompts this effort. As specialization has become the order of the day, so too has the idea of personal touch and empathy. The world is moving too fast for that and people, well, they really do not care.
In our desires to achieve, in time, we will find we have alienated people, made people to feel uncomfortable and unsure of themselves, and became what we hated in people when we were younger. It is then the natural shift from innocence to bitterness takes place in our final bid for supremacy in our minds eye.
Some people are better off alone, others, could care less due to their climb on the tree of prosperity. That said, everyone finds a way eventually to be truely unhappy. For some, this is the only way. For others there is always pills for their sore arms and hands.

new mornings, long days, sleepless nights

Our passion prizes come and rise through the freshly broken glass to serve as a resting point before the big journey begins. The blood is the lubrication that brings meaning to the process but it is not the blood and passion alone that can carry any one man or woman, woman or man. What you see in these people is patterns inconsistent with the patterns of the day.
The unpredictability of passion makes it just enough to merit comfort in the most uncomfortable of places not as a means to any end but as a means for living through the times when people are not so receptive to change or new wordings paired with new music that rocks the underground.
What people want is something they cannot have through the sheer act of wanting. What people want is what other people have. To be in that place makes a fool out of people. The passion you seek must never be for anybody including yourself. It is something past control and it can never be harnessed. The prize will come not in payments as it usually presents itself in a way meaningful only to you. The blocks come form fitted and matted so one day you can see progress through the symphony of caring. The prizes are the reflections or results of what passion brings. Usually, those reflections come from the bits and pieces of blood spattered glass on the floor beneath your feet. You can see yourself can't you?

tomorrow $ yesterdays

It comes from the knowledge lost long ago when there were no worries of tomorrow and yesterdays when the time was now and we were at the ready for experience and thought. We reflected only to build upon new ranges and thoughts. There was utility in those days and things always seemed to get done with a fresh face earmarked with zeal and graciousness. Now look what we have become in our age all propped up in self. We think so much within a limited set of options that we cannot ever get back to the days when we served nobody but ourselves in our persuits in the creation of a more joyful today. Now, we just think too far into the future to ever enjoy today. Well, not me, but you do. 98.2

the manufacturing kind

I think if people understood that all of us no matter where we come from face the same difficulties and challenges in one form or the other just to get through each day. For some in our world this means pure survival based on finding something to eat or hiding from those who seek to do physical harm by rape and murder. For others it means being able to make house payments and car payments while balancing a huge credit card debt.I think if people took a look outside their immediate world, if only for a moment each day, then maybe one day people will think twice or three times even before passing judgements, irrational rationalizations, or preconceived opinions based solely and specifically on misinformation about a single person or an entire group of people. Our temporary status on this planet merits more respect for people than imbalance based on some ritualistic hatred cycle that promotes division and contempt among an already stressed world full of individuals dangling and spinning in the wind from the stickyness of the media web. What is real is people in pain. What is real is people undecided and confused running into their caves with jars of gasoline and flip flops slipping in the sand as the petro spills out from the spout. We can all identify with this visualization. Maybe a good crash is just what we need to create jobs. Maybe we need a second revolution of the manufacturing kind.

donuts and cookies

Glazed over from the night before I ran across an old friend of mine out on Second Avenue. He had just been reinstated as a bus driver for the city of San Louis Obispo. Who knew the guy needed a pint of vodka to begin each day. I guess that explains why he stole that police car last wednesday night and actually ran the damn thing off the road to see how far it would go before it hit something. Anyway, he is not due back in court tll the 29th of August and that gives him plenty of time to be the corrupt individual that he is. Before court I have no doubt he will go through a minimum of 10 women all of which would probably walk a thousand miles before saying a bad word about him; all because he could make a woman feel as if a fireworks show were happening in all the right places at all times. I didn't need the shit so I said, "late man" and took off. I was in dire need of a soda and I was parched.

see

Paper mashe flowers cut by the hand of the frustrated one, she carries with her the disease of her mother. On a cool morning in September she found discontent with the world once again and began the long strole down the car infested highway. It took some time before she would be able to walk back, but she did with the aid of a very nice person. Upon her arrival back she began to tear into the walls screaming in frustration while blindly uttering all the colorful words in the big book of bad language that brings us so very much joy. She was out of control and had good reason to be.

The simple things, what a pleasure!

From one generation to the next we harbor the belief in the idea of happiness. We may not always know what it is that makes us happy but we hope to one day find out.
By now we all know that few people in the world can be happy. If happinesss were to creep into the lives of certain people they would have to give it a natural twist to rough the edges up a bit just to make things seem normal. This is mostly done unconsciously but there are those who like to play with people a little because it makes them feel better.
The creation of circumstances is a fundamental play on people involving days, weeks, months, and sometimes years to formulate. This gives control to the proper people in the proper place at the proper time to allow for the greatest success rate of the accomplishment of the goal; percentage wise and probability wise that is.
By creating a circumstance, can happiness be created? If happiness is the goal, then the creation of circumstance is vital in determining that end. However, if happiness is something that is not natural and needs to be manufactured, then that form of happiness relies too heavily on the pleasures of the Earth thus making that happiness fiction with a basis in reality, by reality, for the benefit of reality; designed to function is specific ways that must rely on fiction in order to function; hence all the deceit we live by in all our lives. Happiness comes from the simple things that we love each and every day. It is a walk barefoot in the fresh cut grass, feeling the blades come up between our toes as the smell brings a tickle to our nose.

contageous

I am a whore, a prospector of ideals beyond what people are capable of. The scope is too limited and the timing is all wrong. There needs to be action taken, but the rush and circumstance in everyday life disallows the flow and passion we seek. We need to abandon the old and take on the new. We need to serve shellfish at breakfast and bacon at night. If we do not challenge the old ways, then we cannot create new foundations for future spectacles. Anything beyond the transition resembling the old, is but a movement in cyclical fashion bound by natural law to germinate the old flowers wilted. 98.2

just a baby

This girl, late 20's. was just a baby. She thought she had the answers and was not afraid to say so. She had everything going for her. Her job was going well, she had a boyfriend who wasn't a liar and a prick, and she had alot of friends. Then she found that she did not know everything which changed the course inside her head to a new goal, a new gathering place for all those thoughts. All that she thought she knew was replaced with the thoughts and actions of another person and she became lost. She was just a baby and just like that she became a woman full of angst, anxieties, and unfulfillment in all aspects of her life. Now she is like the rest of us babies. Now she will see how unfulfilled we all are and she will come to rely on that to get her through the rest of her life. 98.2 If your happy, your a liar and your probably on drugs.

We are in the midst of such chaos that the American public is dividing-which always seems to preclude something outrageous. I was talking with a "conservative" last night and I had to remind myself that there are some people who still believe in the dream and that dream has always been fostered by specific groups who have a vested interest in withholding the truth. The truth is if you are not in control, you have nothing but hope. Some people use hope to get them through as the grey hairs come in. These people bought the program and the cover of that program is people with smiling faces and grandchildren while sitting on stacks of cash and insurance for all the meds they have to ingest just to stay alive.
What they forget to advertise is that your dreams are never reached when your old and they never occur through the acquisition of goods and services. Nope, dreams are things that will never come true. If you believe in the dream, you must be at the beginning of the brochure past the smiling faces and kids. You must be inside the pamphlet by now. It looks pretty good doesn't it? Well keep reading and do not forget to get a subscription. I hear the dream costs about 29.95 this month.
Something outrageous has to happen every now and again I guess to remind us that we are all just people trying to fill our little temporary place in the world. THE TRUTH IS NOBODY OWNS ANYTHING, EVER! The real dreams of people are not advertised, they are not showcased in any way, and they always include a peace inside that resembles a passionate mix between the real and the attainable, the dream and the reality. 98.2

page 1

The golf swing is not an exact thing, it was never designed by anybody to be that. Although many books have been written on what to do and how to feel, the perceptions in those books are of the subjective kind; even though the intention is generalization. No, there are no books for you. In golf you have but one notion and that is to strike the golf ball with authority and precision. This can only be accomplished through solid contact which means you want to strike the ball in the back squarely with the clubface. Your swing means very little so long as you come into contact with the ball squarely. If you need to light your kicks on fire before you pull the trigger while doing shots of jagermeister, then fine, so long as you eat food before you drink and never operate a motor vehicle or open your mouth for that matter, after you do the booze. Remember, the idea in golf is to put the ball in the hole in as few strokes as possible. There are no points for beauty and style. If you want to improve your game, get rid of all ads and mags and videos and all that shit and go play the game the way it was intended to be played; with vigor, charm, and respect. 98.2

grass

I set the table and still the glasses fall while all the grass grows tall. Those who wait are doomed by fate for a desire long after their hearts fire dissolves into the ground grains. The idea that change can become real stifles the process and makes aware those who seek to gain fruit in secret.Take the connections and claim this by being that but we are all the same by design.

GUILTY

The nature of man is determined by his growing up elements. The original nature of man was confusion and plain stupidity. This is not a far stretch from where we are now. We just wear better shoes manufactured by exploited children in a far off place. Wow, we really are the best.

doors a crackin

Sweeping away the angel elements, what we have is the memories of good and decent people; which is all we could ever hope to be. Never can there be a larger presence of angel activity than that of the anonymous kind. They seek never to be upheld, honored, or thought of in any way we can understand; it is not our place to do that. By sweeping away the angel elements we can then act in such a way as to open the door a bit wider so that different angels can come in and play; none of them have bad intentions.
If you have ever driven your car down a lonely highway and began to laugh for no specific reason then you have felt one. When that happens, there is activity you are not aware of pulling at your happy strings. This happens when your mind is clear and you have contentment for that one moment in time. One could argue that that point in time is but one example of human perfection. And believe me the LLC, there are many examples of human perfection and they exist ALL OVER ALL THE TIME.
Perserverance- I saw an old man, crippled, and in pain. He walked in front of me and I respected him with a nod and a smile. In obvious pain beyond what I was feeling at the time he gestured back with a nod and a smile in similar fashion and oh those doors were crackin!

parallel

I love parallels. With parallels we can draw conclusions about previously misunderstood elements to an end. For example, if a team of five people are coached by someone who believes them to be like a well oiled machine, then that team may actually believe they are a well oiled machine; especially when they are winning. But I think One can drop another level here.
If a coach were to add the element of secondary learning by association through parallelism a team could learn to bypass the mechanical thoughts of machines and oil by actually remaining in the creative moment. Only then can parallels be drawn once the process has reached its conclusion. So, if one needs to draw a parallel, one can say,"Your not a machine but a group of human beings who have earned the right to put on display for all to see the things not that you are but can be. Through these next few moments you will find exactly what kind of people you are through your abilities to draw upon the fundamentals in times of crisis. You will not become like a well oiled machine, you are much bigger than that. You are the manifestation of human desire in its purest form. The parallel lies in the third dimension and shall become a part of your existence on Earth. This experience will not define you as part of something bigger because you do not know that yet. You are in the creative procees of definition and you deserve to be here." 98.2

the beauty of clouds

the beauty of clouds
Originally uploaded by wolfgang.foto

The beauty of the clouds, the congregation of the mist propels us to no end to the idea that there is something above us and it is beautiful. Representations, the clouds give us a clue into the other world. As mere windows, the clouds serve a sort of somber reminder that it is not us who has any answers. The answers will never come and all we need to really do is enjoy the view.

hesitation

Hesitation provides thought and recourse, both of which hinder the movements that progressive thought requires. Those who hesitate have been doing so since they were young and will never be able to stop. Knowing this they make up for their shortcomings by evaluating the thoughts and processes of others making comparisons along the way on both a conscious and sub-conscious level. It is hesitation that brings discontent before the discontent is allowed to happen. This self-fulfilling prophecy is a dire one especially if the individual is aware of it more than the individual knows. It is in this way the individual can act with full justification on all occasion. This is juvenile 5th grade stuff that drives its way into adulthood and even into the next life. Because of valuable missed steps along the teenage and young adulthood route that will be missed later in life during important life choices that should never be taken from anyone, but perpetuated through the use of friendship, humor, trust, and companionship, the individuals who travel this path will always do so through hesitation. The choices they make will always be done without adult oriented conscious thought and always with them first in line to be served.

happy time

Have you ever wondered why we think one thing while doing another? Has anyone ever noticed how easy it is to see someone who is in another place completely? They are so self involved, so motivated to see new worlds, they always forget the basic fundamentals to happiness somewhere in the middle. They move so much they are unable to co-exist with anyone but themselves and those like them. The reason these folks achieve is because they have forgotten how to feel. Feelings in their eyes are for the weak. People with feelings are easily manipulated and basically predictable.
Then there is the fun group who see the value in people and know the value of laughter. These are the ones I like because they always have time for people. They have a tendency to want to be a friend but never for any other reason other than to simply be there for the unexpected phone call or anything that might come up. They believe friends have no expectations of friends and they value honesty in people. They are fun people but never without flaws; they just try not to use their personal demons as a way out of being a human being.
Finally we have the bastards. These are the people without conscience and who believe the world owes them one. That is all the ammunition they need to justify the fact that they are bastards who live for themselves and do not care about anything else. They are like snot on new fabric and have the same mentality as an attorney who is successful. They are lower than turtle shit.
Try and fall into the fun group if you can. They don't judge and they laugh alot. They understand that they have no control and they never wanted it in the first place. Status, that is for those who want parks named after them as their grandchildren ruin the family name and piss through the family fortune as you rot in the icy Earth. 98.2

blankets

There is mold on the windowsill and the wind outside has strengthened. The musty odor permeates the air like a woolen blanket keeps us safe when the electricity goes out. This is the room where devils dwell. From here they gather in pairs to shell out fear in the world. They dream up stories to influence the masses. They want you to buy into the dream. This is what they sell and for them it is all there is. You see these are the lost souls who delivered themselves to the passions of humanity willingly. They are the ones who keep secrets and abstained from all responsibility. Their namelessness is required because the men and women who once occupied this world are manifested in these groups and they share no information; they are solitary and alone forever and ever. They require those like them to exist free from remorse and responsibility while serving their own vanity. These days there are many soulless among us and they look just like you do. Feel not sadness for them, they don't even know who they are. The only thing these people know is how to be desperately enthusiastic about nothing in particular followed by deep deep downlike thoughts of uselessness and shame surrounded by an emptiness large enough to, well, use your imagination. 98.2

pistons and lubrication

Planting the seed of discontent, miles away from the hearts desire, makes unnecessary traffic. The lights become too bright and the stops too quick. The pace is frantic and rarely is there time to stop and be silent. We strategize and conceptualize our frames and act them out hoping to get the desired end. With only the end in mind, one bypasses key steps in the learning process. Later in life, these steps will be missed as they are the ones that preclude sentimentality. Having an idea about how others may feel is but one step in the design of the proper human machine.

cut me too darn quik

At last the sight, the sound, the magnificence of the whole thing, brought me down to the very foundation I have stood upon for decades. I saw the man for not who he was; he could not help that; he was a product of trying times in trying conditions different than they are now. That behind it all, behind the idle cons and word games, he was actually a gentle and caring soul whose number one concern was for those he loved. But his version of love included a hateful spirit decorated in smiles and lies and at times he was so good his mother could not recognize him on the phone or in person. He had a flaw in that he was always searching for that which he could never have. It was this frantic search that eventually made him wash away in silence only to reappear in anonymity and grace-which is where it all began with all the sights and sounds and the magnificence and all that other crap! lol

Originally uploaded by Andreas Reinhold

The passing and the beginning, the past and the future. These things merge and then change occurs. Hopefully, that change is prompted by the affection and passion deserving of such things for it is through neverending passion that people come out on the back end smiling. Essentially, passion driven people flame on and off and they generally piss people off. If passion is what you seek, you can't find it. It cannot be served and it cannot be bought into. Passionless people know their plight and for that reason they can never share in passionate things. Their satisfaction comes in short bursts surrounded by void.

be

When I was a kid I heard people talk about what could not be and what was not available. I heard people rationalize their behavior with more than suitable ways of retreat from any responsibility whatsoever. To me, those who prepare for their withdrawal by acting in juvenile ways are uniquely human by nature and their behavior is specifically related to the class of the individual. Those who strive for success see no reason to deviate from their current path. Insodoing, these people believe they have the inate ability to be the way they are because they have worked hard to achieve. Then what happens, they ruin themselves by themselves. All others are just along for the ride and playing by their rules. Marriage is another way to blind the real truth about what is going on and what is going on is ficticious by default. Just when you think things are wonderful, a bird craps in your tea. 98.2 This actually happened to me one day and I almost lost my lunch I laughed so hard. I love when nature takes a bite out of the crispy cream donut that is our delicate sensibilities. My goodness, try never to offend. Geeze, lol.

complexity, not really

The sweet sweet smell of anticipation far outweighs the realities of life. The realities once achieved bring the same each day and that for some people is enough to be dialed in to the life spectacle. There is order to the disorder that is representative of the attempt to bypass the harsh reality that everything done in the persuit is the fun. What follows is repetitiveness, age, and then the eventual loss of passion which precludes .... Usually, those who seek with vigor fail due to their uneven ways that present far too many ups and far too many downs. From there one can rationalize all behaviors and that is what makes people so fun to watch and listen to. Basically, we are still walking around with reflectors on our shoes. In the big timeline of humanity, we are very much in the dark ages. We still think we know shit, and we do not. I swear media is killing human bonds. Before it is all said and done, each of us will look back at how stupid we were and how settled we became in our lives, I mean lies. OOps!

misinterpretations in space

Happiness will never fit a mold. If one makes it their objective to use screw bolts to tighten the boreds together, then there is a problem in confidence. Happiness is not a forced proposition. It flows like melted butter inside pieces of freshly baked Italian bread at 5 past 6 in the evening. One can never search for it because searching for the natural prevents the natural from occuring setting up a whole new variety of misspellings and misinterpretations in space.

image and no

Media in society shapes everything we do. We are consumer driven and extraordinarily selfish. To be us now, we have to present an image. We are image and nothing else and that makes us not only selfish, but shallow as well. We search for reason no longer and history takes its rightful place in the past. Then one day history repeats because what was used to create one history was also used to create another with a foundation in a steady mix of half truths and justifications for madness. The search for truth always goes through the unexplained and in that place what is real takes a back seat which in actuality mirrors those real life experiences we all share through unchecked falseness and misinterpretations that take the lead in our real life presentations of self. Images are everywhere and sometimes we forget the important image, the one that lives on the inside, the one that is truely real but isolated from others through a meriad of other images. 98.2

Best served chilled :)

Best served chilled :)
Originally uploaded by Ajit Rudrangi

There are few things in life that bring joy. This however is one of those things. Notice the water beads clinging to the side of the can. You just know an explosion of flavor awaits the drinker.The slightly off-centerness of the can in the picture shows the cans relationship to women. This can stands high above pepsi in looks. I happen to be on a year and a half binge on diet pepsi. Is that bad? Anyway, this is a wonderful picture.

easy in, easy out, how American

In the light of day free from the evening shadows there is confusion and pain. The shadows are nowhere except inside the mind and this is all that is known. All comparisons are made against the pain from the past and from the dark places known so well. There was too much feeling and in youth there was confusion, shyness, and an overall lack of confidence. Being alone, he thought time would solve the problem. Insodoing the boy developed a healthy imagination that later became an obsession. When does patterned obsessive behavior become measurable? Does the internet promote and produce great separation in people? Does the internet make us all some of the greatest self loving people on Earth? Why is there a direct association between low self esteem and high levels of interent chatting? The answer to the last question is because people need easy and the internet allows easy access to an ideal type that gives false hope to fiction and desire that can never be measured in real life. Easy in and easy out, just like life. It is through this foundation that the social world will, because of the transition we are in, devour all concepts of normalcy challenging all past concepts of what a relationship should and should not be. Our screen self separates us from our true self. Just as there is no room in reality for truth, there is also no room in space for truth. There is now and will always be, just actors acting with no feeling all behaving in the expected way. 98.2

people/sad people

I see the people playing like they did when they were kids. I see the people mingling together trying out new lines with new people. I see the excitement they feel inside when they meet that someone new. Their dreams soar with optimistic points of view with endless possibilities. The rides to the airport, the symbolic gestures, the open displays of affection unacceptable in some cultures, and the little giggles that always accompany the fanaticism of meeting someone new serve to show our eternal optimistic nature that somehow becomes clouded in the eventual let down that humans always bring to the table showing just how truely clueless they really are. Everyone wants the dream and nobody is willing to human-up and fight for it. It is always easier to simply leave behind the human in you and replace that with the same emptiness you possess as a result of choices you have made. This is why there are many drugs available so weak minded individuals can make excuses for their limits and confusions. Just give up and be weak, everyone else does. There is no room in reality for anything but manufactured thoughts layed down many years before. There is safety there. There is safety in acting. There just ain't no truth in it. People are scared of the truth and they are scared of being alone and they will say or do anything to avoid that lonliness. These are the desperates who will never find resolution except in the achievement of old age accompanied by bitterness and anxieties. This is how they lived in the old days. We have enough sadness in the world and desperation seems to create sadness. Too bad people are unable to see that. Too bad people will never know what they seek because what they seek cannot be acquired by mere words.
I knew a woman years ago who fell for a man. We were friends and we got along like, well, you know. Anyway, she met this strapping young lad who said the right things to her sexless body. I told her what he wanted and she was not hearing it. She was in love with this man. Inside the first year of their bliss the man threw her down a flight of stairs. She covered and saved face but I could see her inside. The lonliness and desperation she felt disturbed me. She was trapped and would rather save face than leave the man she loved. A desperate act to be sure. In reality, she always had bad self esteem and she would never listen to the things I told her because she did not know how to handle the truth. The truth was she was special but she needed more than she thought she needed. It was more important for her to live the lie, live the image, than it was to be truely happy. And hey, love makes liars out of everyone.

the least

The framework we apply to the life senses are derived from our heritage and upbringing. We frame ourselves in comparison to those closest to us. It is in this way we develop similar attitudes and belief systems regardless of the success or failure of what was seen during those critical childhood years. Any deviation from that framework; developed over many years of thought and action, presents issues with all future endeavors because of the negative shift of the frame which is where the original draft came from and what we are socialized to believe. This is a good thing for some people, and really, we all do this to some extent. Some of us just prefer not to act like something. Experience teaches some that acting is for people who have a need to feel as opposed to having the ability to feel.
Some of us would rather have a wide angle lens with options baby!

lack

The price for happiness will and can never be measured by the dollar. The experiences we share though sometimes unaware, serve to form an inner foundation of self that binds together different aspects and perspectives inside from multiple partnerships developed over years and years of socialization and inner battles from competing entities. The cost of happiness is alienation because for some people, life has far to many ups and far too many downs and as a result, there is never a consistent pattern with any foundation at all in anything real and true. Maybe we are all better off in the virtual world because in the virtual world we can shut down like a system, a product, which is what we are a part of. In that sense, there is no freedom. 98.2

evolution, the life occurance and flow

By design we come to the breaking point, the crossroads, the place where decisions need to be made at the time. Unfortunately we are unaware of these decisions as they occur; and much has been written on this. The idea of being aware, or becoming aware of these intersections while they are happening, is also of interest by many. Making seemingly rational choices at certain times may indeed be nothing more than a cyclical ride on the bullshit train which again is inherently human. So then what?
We become aware of our short-comings and find ways to navigate through them by altering our decision making processes thinking we are being smart when in actuality we are obstructing the natural flow of our lives. Insodoing, we become products of the decision making process that has a foundation in pure acting and not of the self as a system of interrelated responses to life occurrances in flow.

marked by sprinkles

I took a class a long time ago that emphasized a person should only write about what they know. To prove a point the instructor asked us to write one page about how we think we will be in 20 years and why. The instructor then remarked that the chances were very good that what we write on that page will be the polar opposite of what we will be in 20 years. She went on to say that there are great differences in ideals and realities.
The only thing I knew about reality was how my parents rarely spoke to one another unless they happened to be in the same place at the same time. Their schedules were very different and only when the occasional weekend trip was postponed did the folks actually have fun together. On these occasions they had the forsight to plan to have the neighbors over for some food and beverage. This was the fun time in our lives and to this day I have yet to see any family match the childhood I had and for that I am the luckiest man on the planet.
Today we have issues that are wide in scope and consequential now for the young people in the future. That is a hard pill to swallow and we all need to be consciously making an effort to unite in some capacity to assist one another in these times of crisis. The rederick is misleading and self serving to the select few. This is fine so long as the entire population is not completely off balance and searching at the same time.
There is a thin tether keeping us afloat as opposed to and firm yet comfortable wrap keeping our entire population developing and constantantly striving for the perpetuation and development of spirited debates over ideas about the issues that confront us as a people and us and individuals able to compete in a free market based in a diversity reflective of our current population. This is what America is all about and this is something we need not be reminded of. The memories of the fallen ones remind us of what it means to have the courage of conviction in the perpetuation of the very ideas I spoke of earlier. This is nothing new, we just need to apply it!
Write about what you know and what you believe I say. Write about everything in every way. Expect nothing and for that you will remain convinced that what you are writing about is meaningful and from that place, every now and again, passion leaks through and other people will get to see what you see and appreciate that. I enjoyed that class because we learned not to make adjustments. Take the mistakes and let them fly because if they were meant to become yours, the mistakes will always return dressed in different skivies. lol 98.2

virtual schisms and the non-productive force

The decline of humankind is extensive as we tour the virtual world in its infancy. Our decline began with the advent of the information super-highway, but as we see now that information can be suspect as anyone with a mouth can post anything they see fit and call it reality. I suppose this is a good thing because it allows us to see and hear different perspectives coming from different life forms that exist predominately on the inside. The highway allows us to be real in the virtual sense; more involved than we might otherwise be. But how involved can we be virtually?

fruit a fallen, inc

I would like to walk on a magnificent pathway leading to the ultimate height of human experience and existence. I would see the shorelines of golden waters reflecting all that is good in the human spirit. I would see reflections in gold of happy children playing and activity in good things all over as far as the eye could see. The smell of barbeque in the air so dense I would have to wave the smoke from my smiling face in order to catch the ball that will eventually find its way into my warm hands. No worries in that place. Nothing to shut me down and make me feel less than I am. In that place, there is only good thoughts; the thoughts that create fond memories we humans hold so dear to our hearts. My magnificent pathway has no desire, no pain, no guilt, and no sadness. It has only fruit that goes splat every time it falls from the tree.

multiplicity

Planetary forces that align against the spirit are indeed the spirits of disgruntled souls. They have places to go as the doors to the universe are wide open for them but because of their nature in stubbornness they prefer to be forever bitter for the sake of spreading it around to as many souls as possible while they still are bound by Earthly blood and body. The influences of the darker spirits are all over our social world. There is no categorization for them under any one religious context. This is beyond the scope of man and politics. It is something carried from one generation to the next through various forms of text both in silence and in rage, rumor and inuendo. This is the formulation of self through years of socialization in the cycle, the human cycle, the one that includes the unhappy souls that walk among us all and influence us in a multitude of ways. 98.2

film clips

Entitled for more entitled for less, we charge forth in times of duress. We bypass suspicion to mask the flavor of discontent by favoring a more off hands approach to things. It is in this way we regress to stay the same and alter not our life chances. We look to progress yet we fascinate ourselves in snappy justifications. We yield to the exterior while keeping tight the lid on ourselves.
Nobody can see the real me as sometimes he has nowhere to be, not even on the inside can you see. Are you like me? I sometimes search to feel. Are you like me? I sometimes search to sleep. Are you like me? I sometimes fail in my endeavors. Are you like me? I like to wear leather. Are you like me? 98.2

knob

The Sea Anemone is one deadly herb in the ocean. Creatures that come into contact with one usually begin to feel extreme displeasure. There is one fish however that is a friend to the herb and he is known as the Clown Fish. This fish can swim freely among the various tentacles with no problems because the Clown Fish keeps those tentacles clean. If I was a Clown Fish I would find a way to sell the Anemonie after I bread her and sold her babies. I will never be a tentacle polisher. But hey, if I was a fish, how would I know any different?

We gradually flow from one idea to the next wondering when the next bolt will come. There is no doubt it will come, but usually it comes at inopportune times that require some effort to organize. Usually, the time required is a matter of seconds when the initial shock arrives depending on the severity or importance of the message. The times when it comes running like an open faucet is altogether confusing and sometimes difficult to decifer but still the messages are clear enough for me to remember the original meaning. Without meaning the shock loses its relationship to that which is real making the rest of the process pure conjecture based in hope.
Sometimes there is no flow, just an empty space in decline of new thought patterns. This is when the darkness comes. The dark bolts are fun to ride for two reasons: They give me the chance to see the truth in people while being able to measure how far away they are from their personal truth. Nowadays, we have greater and greater distances between what is true and good for us and that which is a lie and false for us. The dark places are easy to get caught up in and sometimes leaving is very hard to do. We become comfortable with being uncomfortable and justifications inevitable ensue.
The flow of ideas come at different times but they all have meaning and they all are directly involved with something, some void, some passionless pit inside that needs correcting. Once corrected, the flood-gates open wide and then the positive flow commences. From a positive place, the vortex becomes colorful and full of delights.

propaganda

IN THE KINGDOM OF THE BLIND, THE ONE EYED DWARF IS KING! What is our kingdom and who is King? Look at that statement there and notice how it can be applied. Bare with me here. If we are all about buying things and talking on cell phones; creating bill after bill after bill after bill; and we feel badly when we cannot go buy something that resembles something we saw on television, then we are all blind in the kingdom ran by those who control media. That would make media the one eyed dwarf and us, the people, the blind and stupid. All of us are under control and the funniest thing is we don't even know it. That is just the kind of evil that is required to influence the masses in the 21st Century. Before it was religion that led the blind and kept them there in that limited space of control. These days we have bitten the Apple and now we have become sprung like a teenagers first pole washing.

confined

i slip into the mold and must be sold. my property becomes mine no more and from now on i have a life not belonging to me. now there is an order to things. now i have complete control and i am moving in the right direction. i know this because they tell me so. I learn from them because they are wise in the ways of the cruel world. in reality, they have been met with discomfort due to their own choices. From a place like that, control would be sanctioned in anyone's heart by all people on the outside. Now all i have to do is find a way to be happy without being a liar to myself like everyone else. i see no problem with that!

man

Enter the man and see him twist things up. See him act in a manner better suited for sport than for life. Enter man with all his indescretions and indignations. Watch him pass through you leaving all that you once loved behind. Your dreams will be sucked from you slowly and you will enjoy ever moment of the process. Watch as he dismantles the structure that once contained you but now has produced a recluse, a remnant of prior self, a ghost of you. Let him be the influence to take you away from your tormented self. Man will destroy your dreams of happiness and desire fulfillment and swing you to self doubt and uncertainty. Man is the ultimate destructive power in the universe and man will win; he always does.

lovely

The service sector is growing again. The service industry is what America is all about. If we did not have people who served, Heaven forbid we would have to do things ourselves for less money and that would kill the current service industry which would kill the one thing that drives our economy. It is a good thing prices are going up across the board or else we would actually require more services. My goodness we have a terrific economy.

sadness by the lb

We the people, in order to form a more perfect union, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, and promote the general welfare of the united states, have formed this union of small people to control what we see and hear. Inso doing, we shape a big bubble around ourselves through the fear avenue provided us by the small people never seen. We have become numb, dumb, and full of bad ideas that repeat. Our entertainment needs to be entertained and not remade. The news is shit, and only people in the loop know just how stupid we all are. The only perfect thing we have is the big bubble we have around us that tells us what we need. We are extraordinarily sad and easily manipulated.

personification steps

Philosophy is like art or music because it cannot be judged without an open mind. As a matter of fact, these things are designed to make you think and feel, not to be critical. Critics are just repressed people who lack vision and have poor diets. The judgment should come from within about you, not the work of others. Once you have judged yourself, you will be better able to keep your mouth shut!
Days will come when you will see your flaws more clearly. If you are like the rest of us your flaws are many. Step one is realizing what a jerk you are. Step 2 is replacing that with something less abrasive like BEING COOL with people. You will find being friendly make days less dark.

Empty

Leadership requires emptiness in a sense that one who leads need never to bring personal belief systems and structures into the leadership environment. To be effective in the leadership role, one must abide by the knowledge of other people in specific areas in order to better determine the direction or flow of related ideas about specific issues of the time. Each definition of goal attainment must be listened to with proper cost/benefit analysis to help better determine the best course of action. History is to be taken into consideration but only to a point. New roads are carved from one's ability to lead through the proper use of valued resources from people with the same emptiness as the leadership role requires. 98.2

How many years have I hated you?

How many years have I hated you?
Originally uploaded by theXenon

I found this on Flickr. My goodness, is this not just the funniest dog gone thing you have ever seen? This picture is the reason no two people should ever marry. I bet these 2 are a hoot at parties huh?

Shhhh!

Conversations from within are filled with sin. The lines we cross are many and the ideas that shine are sometimes unworthy of experience. Other times the the ideas inside are worthy of further exploration. It seems natural to walk down dimly lit pathways lined with concrete structures run down from years of neglect. It seems only human to see things otherwise not seen unless sought after vigorously. We battle between the thoughts and the actions. The ones with contentment find no trouble. Those without wear multiple masks that shine bright with smiles and lies yet we all love, eat, and breathe fear.
Once the clash becomes universally recognized, and the color of your shirt matches your socks, you have found contentment. From that place you can never speak of a lack thereof. From there your words lose their value and the best thing is to be very quiet.

5

I hate memories. They suck energy away from time now. What purpose they serve is beyond my capabilities as a human. The only thing the past does for me is to remind me of how crappy things are now. I feel pain each and every day and with that I have the memories of better times. For that process I receive nothing but heartache, nothing but physical and emotional pain scarring me forever in a big giant pool of r and r r d's. You can call it what you want and it matters not to anybody. Call it wisdom, call it mediocrity, call it the life process but whatever you call it is important to know and understand you should never lay your naked body in a tube with light that darkens you. It is silly and stop doing that. You look silly and it is aging you. Wake the f up! Oh yeh, memories suck! Unless of course they are good memories that make you feel all warm and squooshy. In those cases it is ok to remember. For example, When I was 5 I won my first bike race. My bros were very proud of me and we had been working hard on our racing skills for a while up to that point. On the way home my bros were yelling and screaming and cheering. On that day, we all won our races. That is a memory I bring up when the big bird in the sky shits on my head. 98

Mindcracker

The vault cracked twice before allowing the contents to spill on the outside but this time there was nothing left inside. The empty space inside is reflective of who we are; empty spaces colliding electrically. The rest is fluids and built up nothingness with a mouth that sucks air away from meaningful people who will never have the voice to speak. There are 2 many voices speaking and 2 few meaningful spirits. The designs propagated are for but one purpose and it need not float in its shallow pond.